Author: Lakota Title: THE SINS OF OUR PAST Categories: S MSR, M&S Anguish, Rating: PG13 Spoilers: Up to Season 6 Summary: The ring - Who was Mulder married to? What happened to his wife? Where does Diana fit into the picture and is Mulder Jacob's daddy? With all these questions, it's Scully who rescues Mulder from his past. Disclaimer: I'm only borrowing Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Long Gunmen, Diana Fowley, (although we all know what we can do with Diana) for my own enjoyment. They are the property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting and 1013 Productions. Promise not to infringe. Note: I have always wondered about the famous wedding ring, and whom it belonged to. Okay so David Duchovny left it on after his marriage on a whim, thinking it would be an interesting arc. I on the other hand, with my wild imagination gave the ring a beautiful love story. (Don't worry readers - Scully will always be Mulders and Mulder will always be Scully's. Thanks: To my cyber buddies who have since become true friends. A special thank you to Susan, who inserted a very funny page in the story, Francina for her constant approval and encouragement and Haskell for the beginning of the story. (thanks hiding for putting up with me) I'm sure they were exhausted with my constant 'here's another section to my story, tell me what you think?' Even with my constant annoyance they never let me give up. SINS OF OUR PAST 1/8 Scully took her time walking down the F.B.I. hallways allowing the memories of working with her partner for the past six years flood her mind. Smiling at the thought of them both being trapped in the forest with man eating glowing bugs, or the time Mulder was chasing a naked woman through a city. She stood in front of the elevator doors waiting for them to open, lost in thought. Duane Barry crossed her mind and all of the tests that followed. Cringing at the thought, she closed her eyes and pushed it back to the farthest corner of her mind. The elevator doors opened with the familiar bing sound. It was empty; she sighed in relief and stepped in. Down, down to the bottomless depths of the basement office. The heavy metal doors opened with a moan revealing the dark hallway leading to the old office. Scully stepped off and walked up to the door. "Nobody down here but the F.B.I's most unwanted,"said the young FBI Agent. 'I'm actually looking forward to working with you, Agent Mulder," Scully replied "Oh are you? I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me" Smiling to herself, she turned the knob and pushed open the door. Mulder was asleep at his desk, his head resting on papers spread out across his desk. She walked up to him and looked down at her sleeping partner. "Mulder, are you awake?" Scully asked silently placing her hand gently on his back. Mulder groaned, as he wiped the drool from his mouth turning his head and falling back to sleep. Scully smiled and started remembering back the night that they were on stakeout and she fell asleep on his shoulder. "You're drooling, Scully," Mulder teased. Scully decided to work quietly at her desk. She couldn't believe that after all these years; she was able to finally coax Mulder into getting her a desk. What was it that he said that day? Probably the worst time in their partnership. "Why don't I have a desk?" she remembers asking him. "I always assumed that was your area," he said as he pointed to the other side of the office. "Well okay, I can have maintenance bring another desk down here. We won't have any room to move around but maybe we can shove them really close together, face to face, maybe play some battleship," Mulder said obnoxiously. That was such a hard time for her. Not knowing where her life was going, then going through the embarrassment of the tattoo and Ed Jerse. "This isn't about you, I've lost sight of myself," she responded. "All this because I didn't get you a desk," he said condescending. "Not everything is about you, this is my life," Scully answered annoyed. How she remembers the face of despair. How far had they both traveled? Not only in miles, but also in emotions. So many times death had come close to them, and so many times it was just the two of them to give each other strength. Believe and trust was the only words that they could hold between them. Scully sat back watching him, amazed at someone so determined at his quest, could keep on going. So many times he had come so close, and so many times been knocked down. For six years she had wondered what must have really happened that dreadful night. What did actually happen to Samantha? What fear he must have gone through, seeing his sister taken before his eyes and he paralyzed with fright unable to help her? What happened after the abduction? Even after six years, Mulder had never really told her. Sometimes she wondered just how much she really knew her partner. Not only regarding his sister but his life before her. She still had the memory of the night she went to his motel room on their first case, how she had panicked at the site of the bites on her back. She lay on the bed as she listened to his story for the first time. she thought to herself. Scully turned on her computer, when she heard Mulder stir, his light snoring started getting louder until he woke himself up. He moved his head up placing his elbows on the desk and rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. He opened his eyes and was startled to see Scully looking at him. "Damn Scully, you scared the hell out of me, how long have you been there?" Mulder asked suspiciously. "Long enough to know that you snore," she replied with a smile. "Scully, that's all I did, right. I mean snore?" he quizzed nervously. "Mulder," she said with a joking tone in her voice, "I guess I have something on you now, don't I" Mulder looked at her wondering what it was that he had done in his sleep. he thought to himself. "So Scully, how did the meeting go with Skinner?" he asked trying to change the subject. "It was a meeting. Although, you know that he wasn't pleased not having the grace of your presence," she lectured. "...But you told him a good story, right?" he asked with that familiar little boy grin that seemed to always work against her. "A tale would be a better word. 'Sir, Mulder is busily working his little fingers to the bone, writing all the reports for you as we speak'" she mocked to him. "Did he buy it?" Mulder asked innocently. "But of course, doesn't he always?" she said sarcastically, "Mulder, what do you think? He knows you too well. Do you think for a moment he believes that you were working? He knows that you sent me to him, to do your dirty work. So with the meeting behind us, no thanks to me, lets call it a day. You need some sleep and I need a long bath and a good book" she suggested. "Sounds good to me," he said not protesting to her suggestion. She turned looking at him in bewilderment. "Okay, you gave up way too easy. What do you have in mind, and where is Mulder?" she asked not believing what he was telling her. Mulder got off of his desk and walked towards the coat rack, retrieving his jacket. He grabbed hers as well. They were just about to open the door when the phone rang. "Scully, don't pick it up. I'm following your orders for once so let's go," Mulder said. Scully ignoring him went back to the desk to answer the phone. "Scully," she acknowledged the phone call. "Yes hello, is it possible to speak to Fox Mulder," a voice asked. "Fox," Scully repeated looking at Mulder with a puzzled look. Mulder looked at her also questioning who would call him Fox. He quickly shook his head motioning no, whispering to Scully to ignore the call. "Whom may I ask is calling?" she questioned. "Just tell him it's Diana Fowley" a female's voice responded. "Diana Fowley, Umm let me see if he's in?" Scully repeated turning to face Mulder, noticing an apprehensive expression. His face becoming pale and his eyes widening. "I'm sorry Ms Fowley, but Mulder has already left for the day. I will leave him a message telling him of your call," Scully said realizing that this person was not someone that Mulder wanted to talk to at that moment. "That's strange, AD Skinner just informed me that he knew he was still in the office," Diana responded with a voice that Scully did not approve. "Well, Ms. Fowley, AD Skinner has been mistaken, Fox Mulder has gone home, good- bye," Scully said annoyed at the females persistent voice. "Mulder, what was that all about? I don't know who she is, but she is a bit pushy, insisted on speaking to you." "An old acquaintance that I prefer not thinking about right now. Come on Scully, let's go and get something to eat," he said opening the door for Scully as she walked in front of him. They walked towards the elevator waiting for the doors to open. The doors opened and there she was, standing in front of them. "Well Fox, you do need to get a better secretary. She informed me that you were already gone for the day, and as far as I can see, you are still here. Is this your secretary," Diana patronized. For a moment he gasped and took a quick inventory of her, "Diana, what do you want? I thought we had said our good-byes a long time ago, oh wait, we didn't say good-bye, did we?" he returned with the same sarcasm, "And I'd like for you to show some respect to Special Agent Dana Scully my partner, you know what that means, don't you? Now if you don't mind, Agent Scully and I are late for an appointment," he said in anger as he took hold of Scully's elbow and guided her into the elevator. Diana was left standing seeing the man that she once partnered with, her lover, and the father of her child. There he was walking away from her, holding the arm of another woman. . They both walked to the parking structure, their mind miles from there. Scully wondering desperately what that little scene was all about. She thought to herself as she pulled the keys from her purse. Mulder opened the door for her and then walked around to the passenger's side. "Mulder, you know I'm going to ask you," she started to say. "Scully please, leave it alone. At least for tonight. I promise I will tell you everything, I promise," he said softly as he sat not being able to look at her. They drove in silence to his apartment. "Is dinner still on or do you want a rain check," Scully asked turning to him. "How about a rain check, I'm sorry Scully but I have a lot of thinking to do," he replied "Do you want me to pick you up Monday morning?" he asked as she parked by the curb. "Yea sure, I'll be ready at 7:00a.m. We can go have some coffee and bagel, and real cream cheese," Scully joked remembering the whole incident with the vampire and the magic fingers massage. Mulder tried to smile as he opened the door and started walking towards his apartment building. Mulder went into his apartment walking straight to his bedroom and falling into bed. With one arm behind his head, he laid there staring at the ceiling wondering the fate the life had brought him through the years. Scully drove back home and wondered if maybe she needed to take a detour to their friends apartment and ask a couple of questions. It was Friday night and knowing the condition that Mulder was in, she probably wouldn't see him till Monday. She took a left instead of a right and drove to the Lone Gunmen's apartment. She rang the doorbell and immediately heard the click, click, click of the separate locks that adorned their front door. "Why Scully, what brings you here," Frohike asked as he let her in, then looking behind her towards the hall to see if Mulder was behind, "Where's Mulder?" "He's at his apartment. I've come alone with questions that I'd like for the three of you to answer," she said, "An incident happened a little while ago in our office that has Mulder in an agitated state. He received a phone call from a lady, whose name is Diana Fowley. Would any of you boys happen to know who she is?" she asked looking at Langley, Frohike and then Byers. They automatically looked at each other with the same face that Mulder had at the sound of Diana's name. "Okay guys, what is it with this lady? She seems to have an affect on Mulder and now you guys. Who is she?" she insisted again. "She was Mulder's chickadee. She partnered with him when the Files were opened. They were a team for a couple of years until..." Buyers started to say when Langly tapped him on the arm. "You'll have to ask Mulder the rest of the story. I don't think it's our place to say anything else." Langly retorted. Scully's face looked at them wondering exactly what they meant by chickadee, but decided that maybe it was unfair to corner them. This was a question that she did need to ask her partner. She knew that they weren't connected to the hip, but it sometimes saddened her that there were still mysteries with this man. But then again, could she honestly say that she had confided everything to him regarding her past life? She said her thank-yous and left. Mulder was falling asleep when he heard a faint knock at the front door. he thought to himself turning around looking at the clock. It was already 11:21 p.m., too late for Scully to come over but then again when she worried about him; there was no stopping her. He got off the bed and went to the front door not bothering to look through the peephole. He unlatched the chain and opened the door. There in front of him was Diana, the person he swore he would never think of again. "Diana, how did you know where I live?" Mulder asked impatiently. "Now Fox, we do work for the FBI We can get any information that we want. Are you going to let me in or do you have company?" she asked. He stepped back and opened the door a little wider to make room for her big entrance. He stretched his arm out facing his living room couch inviting her to sit down. She walked to the couch giving it a quick look over. "I don't see a woman's touch. Does that mean that you have not bedded your partner yet?" she asked with a cutting voice. "If I remember right, it was you who bedded me," he replied with the same sharpness. "Fox I'm sorry, look I didn't come here to end up in an argument. I'm here on a long-term assignment and I thought that maybe we could see each other every once in awhile. I mean as acquaintances or old friends," she stated. "Diana, I'm very busy with my job and the assignments are continuous. I don't know, maybe we can have dinner some time, but for right now, I'd really like for you to leave. I don't want to be disrespectful but right now it's definitely not a good time," he said as he stood up. "Fox, there's something very important that I have to tell you. But if this is not a good time, then I can wait. I've waited for six years, I can wait a couple of more days," she said as she stood up and headed for the door, but not before she leaned close to him and gave him a light kiss on his lips. He turned his head and walked away, placing the back of his hand and wiping the kiss from his lips. It was already midnight and all he wanted to do was go to sleep, but how could he. His past started coming back fast and furious. It wasn't as if the abduction of his sister was enough, now he had to deal with another part of his life that he had forgotten, stored away in the farthest part of his brain. Scully couldn't sleep, she tossed and turned and kept on looking at the clock. Never had she seen the hands of the clock move that slow. She couldn't take it anymore; she had to do something. She turned around and grabbed the receiver and pressed speed dial #1. The phone rang 3 times, 4 times, 5 times, She thought to herself. " She looked at the clock again. It was now 12:50am and she decided that if she was going to stay awake, she was going to stay awake with her partner. She threw on a pair of black leggings and a baggy lavender sweatshirt that reached down to her thighs. She put on a pair of lavender socks and her Nike tennis shoes. She knocked on Mulder's apartment door lightly hoping that none of his neighbors would hear her. Her mind started wandering as she stood there knocking with no response. filling her thoughts with what she told herself was just merely concern for her partner, not jealousy, just concern. Mulder was still sitting on his couch in complete meditation when he heard the knock at his door. he said to himself as he looked at the clock realizing it was nearly 1:00 a.m. The knocking continued, so he decided that before the neighbors called the police, he'd better take care of the situation. "I told you...," Mulder said loudly as he opened the door, "Scully what are you doing here, it's 1:00 in the morning?" "I'm sorry Mulder, I couldn't sleep," she said as she nonchalantly looked over his shoulder trying to see if he was alone. "How was your bath and your book?" he asked opening the door wider and letting her in. "It ended to be a shower, no bath and no book. Mulder maybe I should go. This is crazy, I have no idea why I came," she responded turning around and heading back towards the door. "Scully, it's okay, I want you to stay. Besides I have a feeling that you're not going to let this lie, are you?" Mulder said as he held her hand and guided her to the couch, "Want some coffee, better yet, want a nice stiff drink? You're going to need it, in fact, I'm going to need it more than you." He went to the kitchen and started making a fresh pot of coffee contemplating how in the world he was going to tell her his past. Will she ever believe in him again after he tells her his life before Scully? Coffee was done and he couldn't stall any longer. He filled two cups with coffee and walked them to the living room handing her one and placing his on the center table. He walked to the hall closet and stretched his arms trying to retrieve a box that was at the far end of the top shelf. He pulled it down blowing the dust off of the box. He dusted it with his arm and walked towards Scully. He sat down next to her, placing the box on his lap. He took a couple of seconds and took a big sigh. "Mulder you don't have to..." she began to say. "I want to. In fact I've been wanting to tell you for a long time, but I never could find the right time or maybe the courage," he said softly as he opened the box and took out an old picture album. He took one more sigh and handed the album to Scully. She took it from his hand and looked at him. He lay back resting his head on the back of the couch waiting for her to turn the page. The brown-leathered picture album looked old and warned. The edges of the pages looked yellow with age. She hesitated for a little while and then opened the book to its first page. Attached to the first page was a thick plastic zip locked bag that was stapled on the page. It was hard not to miss the two gold wedding bands that were in the bag. She didn't realize the gasp that came out of her lungs. She turned her head facing Mulder and caught a tear rolling down his cheek. "Mulder, whose rings are these?" she asked, but before his answer she responded herself, "Are they yours and Diana's?" "No Scully, Diana was never my wife, but I was married a long time ago." She opened the plastic bag and took out the two rings. They were both South Dakota Black Hills Gold rings. What appeared to be the women's ring had a 4- leaf design that had a diamond cut detailed throughout. The setting of the rings measured about 10 millimeters wide and the band about 2 millimeters wide. The man's ring, which obviously was Mulder's, was the same but a wider band. Also in the bag was a dainty cross, accented with polished gold vines with two traditional leaves. One leaf was pink and the other green. She placed the rings and the cross back in the bag and sealed it shut, closing the book. "Mulder I feel that I'm prying in your personal life. I can see how this is affecting you and the last thing I want is to see you this way," she said as she scooted up closer to him holding his hand to hers. With one hand she smoothed his hair back and then wiped the second tear that had settled on his jaw. He took a long deep breath, "Scully I think it's time to tell you everything, please look at the album, and when you're done, I'll explain everything." He got up off the couch and walked towards the bedroom. She opened the album again and felt a knot on her throat. What was she feeling about this picture? she thought. There was writing on the bottom of each picture. It was a feminine handwriting; probably the writing of the beautiful girl that was pictured page after page. The pictures were of Mulder and what appeared to be a young Indian girl. The writing under the first picture was 1986. That would have made Mulder around 25 years old. She flipped the page and found the picture she was dreading, the wedding picture. The girl was beautiful, probably about 19 years old. They were both standing facing each other, holding hands with a love in their faces that she had only seen on a few people. The bride wore a white suede band encircling her head. On her right side there was about 10 inches of suede fringes hanging on the side of her face with a small array of feathers attached to the headband. Her hair was thick and black reaching her waist, braided in ponytails and wrapped with suede cording. Her dress was also white suede with a cape bodice trimmed at the neckline with braided jute and row of variegated colored beads. The cape fringed was about 2 inches long at the ends and trimmed with about 1/2 inch wide blue suede. The bottom of her dress was fringed about two inches long and trimmed with 1/2 inch wide blue suede. And last were her shoes. They were knee high white suede moccasins overlapped at the knee and fringed with about 2 inch long and trimmed with the variegated beads to match the dress. And Mulder, he looked like a child, but still so very handsome. Unlike her traditional Indian garb, Mulder just wore a simple white long sleeve shirt and white pants. She couldn't get over what a handsome couple they both made, and how in love they looked. She flipped the pages and saw pictures of them in various poses, having fun, enjoying their young lives together. Some of the pictures were from what must have been where her family was from. Then there were pictures of Washington D.C. From what Scully gathered, he must have moved her to D.C. Then the last page, Scully gasped as she saw a couple of pictures of a grave filled with white and red roses, that adorned the gravesite. And on the epitaph were the words "In memory of my beautiful wife, my Shining Star" The knot on her throat was getting painful and she couldn't hold her composure any longer. She had to go to him and console him; something about Diana had brought these hidden memories back to him. Where did Diana fit in this picture? She closed the picture album and sat there for awhile, debating whether she should go to him. She knew that he was waiting for her but could she stay strong and be there for him. She was ready to go into a crying fit herself. How could so much grief be inflicted in one human being? She got up and went to the bathroom and washed her face of any signs of tears. She felt naked with fear and angry at her vulnerability. She wanted to go in the bedroom and be there for him. This was a time that she needed to be strong for him and be strong for herself. She went back to the living room, picking up the picture album and placing it under her arm and walked to the bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and at that moment she wished that maybe he had fallen asleep, but he wasn't. He sat on his bed, sitting back against the headboard. She walked in and smiled to him as he looked up and gave her a half smile. "Mulder, these pictures are beautiful. What was her name?" she spoke in a voice above a whisper. "Shining Star, but I called her my Star," he answered. "That's a beautiful name," is all she could respond. He tapped the side of the bed motioning her to come and sit next to him. She walked towards the other side of the bed and sat herself back against the headboard as well. She handed the album to him and he opened it to the page of the wedding. "Scully, you would have liked her. She was so innocent, so wonderful, so..." he tried to say as his voice was strained. "Mulder you don't have to say anything to me." "I want to Scully. I've kept this part of my life private because I never wanted to remember what happened to her. But maybe it's time for me to move forward. I think Star would have wanted me to, I mean move forward." She took the plastic zip lock bag and opened it up, taking the smallest ring out. She took his shaking hand and placed the ring on his. He smiled at her and placed the ring on his little finger, only barely passing the first knuckle. "She was so small, like you Scully," he said. "Tell me Mulder, I want to know everything about her," she encouraged. He placed his hand gently on the picture putting his fingers over Star's face. He took a deep breath ready to tell this person next to him a part of him that he kept only to himself for so many years. He almost felt like a load would be lifted from his heart, finally being able to talk about Shinning Star. "It was the end of 1986 and I had just completed my Oxford degree in Psychology and was immediately recruited to the FBI I graduated top of a 15-week class at the Quantico FBI academy. My initial FBI assignment was "general assignment" agent. My life seemed to be moving forward. Knowing how obsessive I was in school, I knew that I would be the same way in my work, so before I started, I felt that I needed a little time off for myself. I needed to get out of my head and just relax. During my Oxford years, I had a terrible relationship, well you know who she was, Phoebe. She had turned me from a naïve kid to a demoralized naïve kid. She used me and spit me out. She was my first girlfriend and she knew it, she made a fool out of me, she dumped me and I was devastated. After the relationship, if you called it that was over, I focused so deeply in my schooling that I had no time for anything else. I thought this would be a perfect time to travel for a couple of months before entering the FBI. I wanted to go back home and be with my parents. I was lonely for them being away all those years at Oxford, but they didn't seem to be too lonely for me. I decided to fly back to the States and maybe take a drive through some history. So in June of 1987, I flew to Montana rented a car and drove to the different history sites. I went to see the Battle of Little Bighorn. Have you ever been their Scully?" he asked with a voice of excitement, remembering his youth. The memorials, the gravesites of all the Indians and soldiers that were killed in that battle was a site I won't ever forget. You were even able to see where Custer was killed. It was a piece of history that you just can't imagined it really happened until your standing by the gravesites. I drove to South Dakota and saw Mt. Rushmore; you know the whole tourist thing. As I was driving further South, I came across the Pine Ridge Reservation and came across a huge green historical marker, which read Massacre of Wounded Knee. I drove up the main road and there were rows and rows of old houses. Dogs loose on the streets, children playing wearing old and torn clothes and running barefoot. On the top of a small incline I could see a small cross, which I assumed was the monument of Wounded Knee. Scully, it was so devastating. It was a big community grave that I presumed the Indians were buried in from the massacre. It was gated with a chain fence and two cement blocks in from of the site. Connecting the two blocks was an upside down thin medal arch with a small cross on it. Children playing, climbing the blocks. A monument was in the middle of the grave with names and names of Indians that were killed. Weeds filled the site along with Brown Eyed Susan flowers. Red ribbons and flowers interwind in the chain link fence. What a difference between The Battle of Little Bighorn and the Massacre of Wounded Knee. It saddened me to see the difference and how people viewed the two different massacres. I walked down the incline where I parked my car and noticed two stands on one side of the road and another stand on the other. In the stands were young people selling their wares. I went to see if there were any souvenirs that I could buy and there she was. A young Indian girl with black hair parted in the middle that hung down to her waist. Coal black eyes that sparkled when she talked. I remember the dirt smudge on her cheek. Her beauty radiated when she spoke, she was beautiful. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, which I think made her nervous. She had a brown suede dress that reached to the middle of her calf and was barefoot. I remember her giggling with the girl next to her, which later became my biggest Ali. They were making dream catchers and I bought one, then I bought another. I needed an excuse to buy another. The sun was going down and I needed to find a place to stay. The reservation was quite a distance from the next town, so I drove to find a motel to stay. The next morning I was there again, buying more dream catchers," he told as he smiled remembering those memorable days. Scully put her hand on top of his, "Go on," she said. "Well, I ended staying there for 3 weeks," he mused. "And you bought dream catchers every day?" she asked teasingly. 70 9 Sins of Our Past - 2/8 CorrineLS@earthlink.net (Lakota) "Yup, I was feeding her whole family with the money I was paying. I'm amazed that I even still had my Samantha nightmares, what with all those dream catchers, you'd think my bad dreams would never return. I was spending so much money, I had to call mom for a loan, which she wasn't very amused and especially when she found out I was in a reservation in South Dakota and not in England, studying my brains out. They had already forgotten that I had already been recruited for the Bureau. Such caring and well informed parents, wouldn't you say?" Mulder said sarcastically and continued. "About the third week her friend, and my Ali, White Feathers was lying for us. She would take care of the stand while Star and I would sneak away and just walk the fields. By the fourth week I asked her to marry me. I couldn't be without her Scully. I had been the happiest I had been in those four weeks than I had been since the day Sam was abducted. I didn't think I could laugh again until I met her. She was so innocent and so naïve. I think the only reason her parents tolerated me was because my first name is Fox, which fit perfectly with their traditions," he laughed, "I called mom and dad to tell them about my wedding with Star and they found every excuse not to come. And when they found out whom I was going to marry, well, there was no way they'd make an effort. So, on July 28th, 1987, on a Sunday evening under the night stars, Star and I were married. White Feathers, along with the person who administered the ceremony, Star and myself went to the little church they had in the reservation," Mulder narrated as he flipped the pages of the album. Mulder got a little blushed and continued, "Scully, I know you think I'm this sex crazed porno watching, sex maniac person, but I was so naïve back then. Phoebe had me confused and stirred feelings that were unknown to me. I know, go ahead, laugh all you want, but it was true. Well, when I met Star, who was even more naïve than I was, well... we... just .. Didn't even do anything the first night. We were both..." he said in a whisper. "Mulder, are you sure you want to continue?" Scully asked him. "Yes, please I need to tell you everything. I took her with me to the motel I had called home for the last month and we started making plans to go back to D.C. We stayed another week going back and forth from the motel to the reservation, trying to make peace with her family and me trying to make them believe in my honest intentions. We moved to Washington after that. Life was not easy for her in the big city. She had never been away from the reservation and I felt that I had played a big injustice to her. If I remember right, in late 1988, I was assigned to the violent crime section. I was considered to be an expert analyst, three years with the FBI Behavioral Science unit, profiling serial killers. I was partnered with Jerry Lamana around this time. The horrendous assignments that I was profiling, was taking a toll on our lives. I would come home taking the job home with me. But Scully, she was so understanding, or at least she made me believe that I was doing the right thing. After a couple of years she wanted to start having children, but at that time I felt it was too soon, especially seeing the cruel world and all the injustice that I came in contact on a daily basis. I know I was being very selfish, and I didn't stop to realize that she loved me unconditionally, all she wanted was a continuation of our love. At around 1989, I started thinking more about Samantha and decided to see Dr. Heits Werber where he used regression therapy and where I started to remember the night my sister disappeared. I was having a very difficult time, and again Star stood by me. Around the end of 1990, I decided that enough was enough. I guess I could say the X-Files fell on my lap and that's when Diana came into the picture and became my partner. Diana had the same excitement and interest in the paranormal as I did. We went assignment to assignment with such vigor and complete focus. Diana became a good friend with Star, helping her with the cultural change that she still had troubles adjusting to. I..., I..., remember this particular morning, March 21, 1991" Mulder started to say with a voice that began to have an emptiness. He turned the pages until he got to the picture of the gravesite; "Diana and I had been involved with a vicious serial killer case. The perpetrator would kidnap children under five years old and then ultimately kill them. I was looking at the pictures of the deceased children and the pictures. I thought of the parents of these children and the void they must have had. I then starting thinking of Star, and how she wanted to have our child, and I didn't want to feel the void, or maybe I didn't want to miss the experience of never having a child. I was excited and told Diana of my plan. I was going to call Star and have her meet me at the Bureau, we would have a romantic dinner and I'd tell her then that we could start practicing and maybe if we got it right, a child would be conceived. I remember Diana's expression, strange, I still remember it so clearly. I thought she'd be happy for Star and me, but..,Umm, I don't know, she just didn't react to the way I thought she would. Anyway, I called Star and told her to come to the Bureau so I could tell her my big surprise. But as luck would have it, Diana and I got an urgent call that the serial killer we were in pursuit had been cornered at an old warehouse. We had to get there immediately. I remember writing the address and directions of the warehouse on a notepad on my desk and leaving it there. I'm telling you this Scully, because I believe that..." he spoke as the words were getting harder to say. "I had to take some agents with me to the warehouse, so I had Diana call Star to cancel the dinner date. Diana agreed and told me she would catch up with me after the call. The next thing I know, I was at the warehouse shots being fired everywhere, and ... and.. Seeing Star. My God Scully, she was there, I don't know how she found me. Days later, all I could think about was that maybe she decided to come to the office after all and seeing the notepad with the address. I can't get it out of my head, she had blood everywhere, and all over her..." he tearfully said as he gripped his hands into a fist and bent his head down. Scully took the picture album from his lap and closed it, placing it on the nightstand. She turned around and took Mulder to her chest and cradled him as his body trembled. His tears coursed down his cheeks. "I ran to her forgetting about the shooting that was going on and I was able to hold her in my arms. She was still alive, I thought I might have a second chance. I told her she couldn't die, because we were going to have a baby. I promised her, I told her, and I demanded her not to leave me. We were going to have a family, and she smiled at me. She smiled Scully, she said she loved me and that she would see me in heaven. She said to keep on looking at the sky and when I saw a shooting star, it would be her sending me kisses. And then she closed her eyes." "Mulder, but wasn't Diana going to call her? I don't understand" Scully asked puzzled. "Diana later told me that she did call her. She told her that we had to work late and I would give her a surprise when I got home," he whispered. Scully held him close trying to console him, "Where was Diana?" He looked up at her with tear smudged face questioning her insinuation, "What do you mean Scully?" She realized the confusion in his face and thought that maybe it was not the time to delve on the topic. "Nothing Mulder, I'm so sorry." The funeral was beautiful. I took her home to Wounded Knee so she could be buried with her people. I had asked Mom and Dad to come to the funeral and they kept on making excuses but they did show up. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't shown. I felt so bad for her family because I felt that it was my fault that she had died. Scully she was only 24 years old. We had only been married 3-1/2 years." Scully brought him close to her and had him lay on her lap, with his back towards her. She gently stroked the hair out of his face. She took hold of his hands and continued. "Mulder, you may have been married only 3-1/2 years, but they sounded like the most love filled years that both of you had. You were able to experience that, and even though it was short, the days you were together will be remembered here." She placed his hand onto his chest tapping his heart. "And here..." she continued as she took his hand from his heart and tapped his forehead. She rocked him slightly as she rubbed his temples in a circular motion until she realized he had fallen asleep in her arms. "Star, are you okay?" Mulder asked as he lay in bed waiting for her. Hoping that this night would be better than their first one the previous night. "Fox, you have eyes closed, right?" Star responded as she barely opened the bathroom door peaking through the crack. "Yes Star, I have them closed." "Turn off light," she demanded. "But Star, if I turn off the light you won't be able to see the bed." Mulder joked as he turned off the lamp light. He could hear the creak of the door and could barely see the faint shadow walking towards the bed. "OUCH!!!" she hollered "Star, are you okay?" he asked "Don't turn on light!!!" she said quickly. She reached the bed and pulled the covers carefully, trying not to uncover Mulder. "Where did you hit yourself?" Mulder teased as he started to scoot closer to her and feeling her body tense. "Toe, I hit toe on bed," she said quietly laying as far to the edge as she could. "I am so tired, very tired." Mulder turned on his right side, lying very close to her. He placed his left hand on her hip and started caressing, feeling the smoothness of her satin gown he had bought her. "Star, if you don't want to, we don't have to. I love you so much, that the last thing I want to do is make you do something you don't want to," he softly whispered in her ear. "Fox I want to, just scared. I never and you are very, how you say, experienced" He started laughing as he started kissing her ear, "Sweetheart, I'm not as experienced as you think." "You think funny, I make joke?" she asked as she quickly turned around facing him. He took his hand and pushed her long black hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. He took both of his hands and cupped her face starting to gently kiss her, barely touching her lips. He kissed the tip of her nose, then her cheek and then started to kiss her ear as he took a hold of her earlobe in his mouth and playfully circled it with his tongue. He felt her body quiver as he placed his hand on her back and gently caressed her. He could feel her body start relaxing as he continued kissing her eyelids. He took her hand and placed it on his bare chest. At the touch, she started to pull away, but he held it there. "I love you Star" he whispered again reassuring her as he took her hand and started guiding down onto him. She initially protested the move, but he kept his hand on hers until she relaxed. He moved her hand inside the waistband of his boxers and again she tried to pull away. "Fox, I so scared, I never did this," she silently said. "Please Star, please," he responded to her and she again relaxed her hand. He placed her hand on his arousal and felt her hand gently open and take hold of him. He moaned in her ear as she quickly pulled away. "I hurt you Fox?" she said startled. "No sweetheart, you didn't hurt me, please don't move your hand," he chuckled. She put her hand back in and started caressing it, "Fox, this nice, I like." "I like too," he mused. He took his hand and started lifting her gown and carefully started lowering her undergarments stroking her backside. He raised up on his knees and started pulling her gown above her head. "You're so beautiful Star," he whispered. She sat up crossing her arms against her breasts. He gently moved them away and started kissing her neck. She slowly unclasped her arms and embraced him. She moved her hands down and took a hold of the waistband of his boxers and she lowered them. "Fox, you beautiful too. Very beautiful," she giggled as he blushed. They embraced feeling each other's warmth. He rolled onto her as they playfully kissed until he maneuvered himself gently in her. Her body stiffened at the feeling of his arousal entering her. "Star, I love you," he reassured her and again she relaxed. His movement was slow as they connected in rhythm; He lifted his face to see her beauty when he saw her tears, "I'm so sorry, am I hurting you," he said as he stopped his movement. "Fox, I love you. ... I can't breathe. When you see star fall from sky, I am kissing you." Star said choking the tears. Mulder looked at her blood stained shirt that she had on and blood smears on her face. "NO STAR, Don't leave me again, don't leave me again," he kept on screaming waking himself up from his dream. "It will be okay," Scully reassured him as she held him closer. "Star, Star, don't leave me," he cried over and over again. "Star..." Her back was starting to hurt with his weight on her lap. She tried to shift her weight, but thought against it. He was finally quiet and he needed to sleep. She thought back at the day events, and was perplexed at how it ended. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined Mulder's past. If someone had told her that he had been married before, well she would probably have laughed and told them they were out of their minds. But here he was sleeping on her lap with his wife's wedding band on his little finger. She carefully picked up his hand and looked at the ring and smiled. She felt she needed to see Mulder and Star again and stretched over to the nightstand to pickup the picture album. She picked up his hand again and gently took Star's ring off. She opened the plastic bag again and took out his wedding band and slipped it on his left wedding ring finger. Then she placed Star's ring on her finger. She moved her hand palm in and then palm out in front of her face, admiring it and dazed off to a fantasy that she knew would never come true. She smiled and then decided she'd better take it off before he woke up and caught her with it on. She put Star's ring back in the bag and zipped it closed. She opened the album again admiring at the beauty that this young girl had. Her beauty was definitely external, but the beauty she carried inside her soul was what made Mulder fall in love with her. She opened the book again, looking at each page over and over again, finishing it with that last page. The site of Star's grave gave her chills down her spine. Something was not right. She didn't know what it was, but call it women's intuition, but there was something there that she needed to find out. But right now was not the time. She needed to sleep if she was going to be strong for her partner. It was already 3:30 a.m. and the heaviness of her eyes was unbearable. She gently squirmed herself out from under Mulder. She covered him up then stretched her body, trying to loosen all the muscles that had been in one position for a couple of hours. She walked to his hall closet and pulled out a blanket and pillow. She went to the living room and fixed the couch. Not quite the comfort of her bed, but this would have to do. The aroma of coffee brewing filled the apartment as Scully opened her sleep filled eyes. Mulder was walking in the living room with two cups of coffee and sat on the chair next to the couch. "Well look whose awake, care for some coffee?" he asked placing his cup on the coffee table. She sat up stretching her arms above her head and taking a lung filled sigh. "Yes I would," she replied as she stretched her hand taking the cup from his and noticing that he still had the wedding band on. "How did you sleep?" "I guess I slept well. I dreamt of Star, Scully. It was a very nice one, until it ended with her in my arms. The vision of her dying in my arms keeps haunting me, even in my dreams," he said then changed the subject, "Hey Scully, how about that rain check I offered last night. It won't be dinner, but we could have breakfast." "Sounds good," she replied as she stood up taking her empty cup to the kitchen, "Why don't you take a shower, get dressed and then take me to my apartment for a quick change of clothing. Mulder agreed as he walked into the bedroom. Scully got up and started folding the blankets and putting them back in the closet when she heard the shower turn on. She quickly went to the living room and picked up the receiver. The phone rang 4 times before it was picked up. "Mulder, I'm at your services on this fine Saturday morning." Frohike said. "Caller I.D?" Scully questioned, "Frohike I need a favor from the three of you. Listen up because I have to make it quick. Mulder is in the shower and I don't want him to hear me. I want the three of you to do some investigating, private investigating on Diana Fowley. Where she's been since she left the X-Files, her assignments, her personal life, everything you could muster. And Frohike, did you know her well when she was partnered with Mulder back in 91?" "Somewhat, she wasn't very friendly with us." He answered. "And Frohike, did you know anything about Mulder about his life before the X- Files?" she started to ask. "Oh you mean when he was in Violent Crimes..." "No Frohike, you know exactly what I mean, his personal life?" she cornered him. "Scully, it wasn't mine, Byers or Langley's place to tell you. So I gather you know about the lovely Star?" he responded, "It was a very difficult time in his life, on which he didn't care to share with any of us, except Diana of course. But then again, Diana didn't give him any choice. She was there for him, whether he wanted her help or not," he retorted. "So I gather that Diana came to the rescue," she questioned. "With open arms," he sarcastically continued. "Frohike, I've got to go, he's out of the shower. Remember, this is between the three of you and me." She said hanging the phone without hesitation. Mulder came out of the bedroom, towel in hand drying his hair. "Give me a sec and we'll go" he said to her then returned back to the bedroom, but not before she took a glance that the ring was no longer on his finger. After stopping at Scully's for a quick shower and change of clothing, they were at the nearby café eating their breakfast. Mulder was in a better spirits even with the in depth conversation that they had the evening before. After unimportant chitchat, Scully decided to take the plunge and ask questions that she he would avoid in answering. "Mulder, I would have loved to have met Star. Forgive me, but knowing you these last 6 years, it's so hard to picture you married. What made you be the person you are now?" she asked prepping herself for the questions she really wanted to ask. "Gee Scully, that's a hard one, Cancerman, the Syndicate, aliens, the constant jerk off assignments that's we've been getting, where do I begin," he satirically said. "Diana must have been a real asset for you, I mean in the beginning of the X- Files. I take it by what you said to me yesterday, that she had the same excitement and interest in the paranormal, did I paraphrase it correctly?" she asked satirically. "Diana was . . ." he started to say and then thought twice about continuing. "Was what?" she badgered. "Diana was as enthusiastic as I was. She believed in my beliefs, in my ideas of the paranormal, of alien abductions." He spoke slowly choosing his words carefully. "Was Diana a good friend of Star's?" she kept on nudging. "At first she wasn't. I don't know, I just think that our work was her whole life, and Star was my life. Again Scully, I know this is something you're not going to believe, but I had my wife and that's all I needed. I don't know when her feelings towards Star changed, but all of a sudden she started inviting her shopping with her." "Did you think it was strange?" Scully asked taking a bite of her toast. "No not really, why do you ask?" Mulder asked puzzled at her questions. "Just asking, I mean you told me you were going to tell me everything of your past, so I'm taking you up on it. Do you mind me asking these questions?" she asked thinking that she might be going to fast. "No I did promise didn't I. Well, if I remember right Diana started coming around about 3 maybe 4 months before..." Mulder said stopping at the end of his sentence wanting to avoid the inevitable ending. "She must have been saddened by the death of Star, I mean seeing how devastated you were. She probably felt guilty for calling her that day and telling her about the cancelled dinner and then Star showing up after all," Scully pushed. "I remember she felt guilty, she kept on telling me it was her fault," he responded. "Why would she say that Mulder, I mean she * did * call Star didn't she?" Scully pressured. "Well of course she called her Scully, what do you mean by that?" he asked annoyed. "No nothing, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate anything. I just know I would feel guilty too. Did you ever know why she would end up at the warehouse?" Again Scully persisted. "It was my fault Scully. Star must have not understood Diana and thought she needed to meet me at my office. She must have seen my notes of the warehouse stakeout. So Scully, in reality I was the one that killed her. "Mulder said quietly. Scully thought. "Mulder, you know that's not true. What happened after, I mean after the funeral?" she again nudged. "I needed some time off after taking Star's body back to the reservation. Diana was a real pro. She kept the Files opened and worked very hard that we wouldn't loose them. I took about 3 weeks off and came back to work. We diligently worked our cases. I mean at times we were putting 24 hours a day on our work. Ummm, Scully are you sure you want me to continue?" he asked as he scooted closer to her on the booth. "Yes I want to know what my mysterious partner was all about back then." She said teasingly wondering why the change in body movement. "Even though I put my whole life in the Files, I had very bad moments. If I wasn't working I was mourning the loss of my wife. Diana was always there to pick me up. She... umm... she took care of me during those mournful times that I had. I didn't have anyone to hold me and tell me that it would be all right, and she was there. One innocent evening, we went too far. I took advantage of my weakness and we took our partnership one step further." He said as he took a hold of Scully's hand and looking down at the table. She wished she could say out loud. "The relationship took a different turn and after about 8 months she moved in with me. We kept the relationship private, in fact the only ones that knew about us were Minnie, Moe and Jack," he smiled referring to their three paranoid friends. Since the death of Star, I began to smile again. I thought I was falling in love with her, but now that I look back, it was never love. I never loved her Scully, I promise you that," he emphasized. "Mulder you don't have to justify to me," she said softly getting close to him. "That's okay Scully, I'm on a roll, don't interrupt. Anyway, Diana hadn't been feeling very well for about 4 weeks so she was missing quite a bit of work. I remember it was October 11, 1992, two days before my birthday, I decided to stop at the flower shop to buy her a bouquet of flowers. I was hoping the flowers would cheer her up. We were thinking she just had the flu that she couldn't shake off. I walked in our apartment to find it empty. At first it didn't register that only her things were missing. Some of the pictures were off the wall, her favorite afghan that was always on the couch. I was confused until I went into the bedroom and all signs of Diana were gone. Her clothes, her... well, everything was gone. There wasn't a single clue that she shared an apartment with me. I seem to have a thing with women, wouldn't you say," Mulder tried to make light of his misfortunes. Scully leaned over to Mulder whispering, "Mulder, is that why you're afraid to get close to anyone, to me?" Mulder looked up confused, "Scully, I..." he started to say and was quieted by Scully's finger to his lips. Mulder's Apartment Sunday morning was going to be a quiet one for Mulder. He figured after what happened the previous day, he needed a kick back, read, do laundry sort of day. As he did his once a month, come hell or high water cleaning, he thought about Scully and what she must have thought with his full disclosure of his life before the X-Files and before Scully. He was walking out of the bathroom, with his rubber gloves and toilet brush in hand, when he heard the knocking on his door. he thought with a smirk on his face. He opened the door to find Diana standing at the doorway. "You need a cleaning lady, Fox. Doesn't Agent Scully do that for you?" she said walking past him and into his apartment. Long Gunmen's Apartment Click, click, click, Scully counted the usual eight locks being released before the door opened. "The lovely Agent Scully, come right on in," said the little man opening the door. Scully walked towards the desks filled with electronic equipment, "Well boys what have you come up with?" Mulder's Apartment "Diana, I thought we said everything we needed to say last Friday. Another thing, you met Agent Scully, what all of 3 or 4 minutes, and all you've done is insult her. What seems to be the problem?" he asked as he closed the door taking the rubber gloves off and placing the toilet brush on the floor up against the wall. "Fox I'm sorry, look I came here to tell you something important that you didn't let me tell you on Friday. I wanted to explain the reason for me leaving you," she said sitting on the couch. Mulder started laughing sitting on the chair opposite her, "Diana, * you do * realize that you left 6-1/2 years ago, gee why explain now, I mean you could have waited another 6-1/2 years," he said scornfully. 70 9 Sins of Our Past - 3/8 CorrineLS@earthlink.net (Lakota) Long Gunmen's Apartment "Looking through Diana Fowley's records, it looks like she requested a transfer around the first week of October, 1992 and took an assignment in Europe, working for the Foreign Terrorist." Byers told Scully looking at the computer monitor- moving screen by screen reading Diana's dossier. "Why do you think she came back?" Scully asked, really to herself more than asking the three. "Maybe she had too many years getting into the minds of armed terrorists?" Langley responded. "But look at what it says here," Byers said as he kept on reading. "She took a leave of absence, let me see around the end of March 1993. It looks like she took a Medical leave of absence." "Medical? Did she get hurt in the line of duty?" Forhike asked. Mulder's Apartment "Fox, there was a good reason why I left." she began to say before getting interrupted. "What can possibly be the reason for leaving without a single word. Did you think at all of my feelings, coming home to an empty apartment?" he said angrily. "You just don't understand. If you remember, I wasn't feeling well for a few weeks before I left. I had gone to the doctor and had my fears confirmed," she explained as she started to open her purse taking out her wallet. Mulder looked very confused following his eyes to her hands getting the wallet. She pulled out a wallet size photo, looking at it first and then turning it to him. "Whose this?" he asked taking the picture from her hand. "Jacob" she responded, looking at him. "Again, who is this Diana?" he asked agitated. "Your son Fox, he's your son, Jacob William Mulder" she said raising her voice. Long Gunmen's Apartment "Don't know, let me keep on researching?" answered Bryers, "It looks like she went back to work around the middle of August 1993. That means she was off work for about five months." "Do you think she went home during those five months?" Scully asked leaning over Byers shoulder looking at the monitor, "Maybe she went back home for the five months to re-cooperate at whatever was wrong with her?" Scully suggested. "I seem to remember she was originally from Chicago. Let's see if there is any information on a Diana Fowley in any hospitals during those months. We can go into her medical insurance records," Byers continued looking. "Wait, look she was seeing Dr. James Laughlin during her stay, yes..., she was in Chicago those months." Frohike moved up close to them and started reading the monitor along with the other three. "It looks like she was admitted to Loyola Hospital on June 14, 1993 and released on the 15th. I wonder why?" Frohike asked. "Can you see what field Doctor Laughlin is in?" Scully asked. "Well, lets see," Byers said punching the keys researching the doctor's list for that hospital. "Yes he's an OB/G..." Scully's face paled as she read over his shoulder, "Oh my God, Dr. Laughlin is an OB/GYN. Byers, look and see if there were any deliveries on that day for a Diana Fowley?" she asked fearful of the response. "What!!" all three shouted at the same time. Byers pressed more buttons and a faster speed researching the births of all children on that day. "There were 4 boys and 3 girls born that day. Let me see if I could get who the mother's were, a Jane Kraft, Laurie Hale, Diana Fowley, Oh my God, Diana Fowley had a boy." Scully sat on the chair not realizing she was holding her breath. "Birth certificate reads, Jacob William Mulder" Murder's Apartment "What the hell are you talking about?" Mulder asked standing up starting to pace. "Mulder please look at the picture," Diana said standing up and forcing the picture in his hand. He hesitated for a couple of seconds and then brought his hand up and looked at the little brown haired, hazel eyed-boy. "I had my suspicions but wasn't sure until I started feeling sick. Do you remember Fox, all those weeks of thinking I had the flu? I had gone to the doctor the day before I decided to leave. It was confirmed, I was already 5 weeks along, which would place the due date around the middle of June. I know how important your work was and I didn't want to confuse matters with a child" she explained trying to get his attention. "If what you say is the truth, then * How * dare you decide for me what was best for me. * How dare * you decide to have our child away from me and deny me of him, if it's true." Mulder said seething with rage. He handed the picture back to her and started walking towards the door. "I didn't wait these 6 years to be lied to or for you to play head games with me again." "I didn't play head games, Fox. I did what I thought was best for both of us," she told. "Did you hear what I just said, who gave you the right to decide for me," he shouted coldly. "Look Fox, what did you want me to do? You had just lost Star seven months prior. You were talking about having a child with your wife and I end up pregnant. I didn't want to hurt you," she continued trying to make him understand. "Hurt me! You were concerned about * hurting me *," he spoke agitated, "Just what the hell do you think you're doing to me now. Again, if what you say is true, you have deprived me of being with this child during his infancy, toddler years and now you bring him to me. Diana, what is the difference now? Why come back now?" "I realized how selfish I was towards Jacob and you. It was time for him to see his daddy," she said softening her voice. "Diana, I don't know. I can't think right now, it's best that you leave," he continued as he opened the front door his voice starting to sound strained. "But your son..." she said showing him the picture of the child. "Don't try to pass the guilt on me. It's you that should be guilty," he demanded. She placed the wallet size picture of the boy on the coffee table and headed towards the door. Lone Gunmen's Apartment Scully was slumped forward on the chair, hands over her face and elbows resting on her knees when Forhike came to her and knelt in front of her. "Agent Scully, I'm so sorry. What do we do now? Do we tell Mulder, and then again, he might already know." Scully looked up unable to hide the stress in her face. "I don't think he knows, Frohike, I would have sensed it by now. And besides, do you think Mulder would have given up all responsibility in raising this child. I'm sure you know what kind of lonely life he had growing up and especially after Samantha's abduction. No, he doesn't know, or at least he didn't" She stood up and started pacing, "I am so angry, * damn it *, why is his life always a continuous turmoil," she shouted pounding the palm of her hand on the wall. "What do I do guys? For God's sake, he trusted her. She was his partner as he and I are. But then again, they were lovers," her tone changing drastically, "I've got to talk to him." She pulled out her cell phone and pressed speed dial #1. The phone rang several times until a barely audible voice responded. "Hello" was the response unemotionally. "Mulder, are you okay?" Scully asked. "Um" was all his reply. "I can tell Mulder, I know you too well. Is it okay for me to drop over for a little while?" she asked him apprehensively. "Um" again he grunted, hanging up the phone. Lone Gunmen's Apartment "Something is wrong. I'll guarantee you she's already been there and told him about the child. I have to get to him right away. Guys, you have got to dig anything you can on her. Why don't you see if you can investigate a little more on the stakeout that was the cause of Star's death." She instructed as she straightened her composure and headed towards the door. Scully knocked continuously, but no one answered the door. She dug in her purse retrieving her key ring and taking Mulder's apartment key in hand. She slipped the key in and turned it, opening the door. "Mulder are you here," she asked trying to focus her eyes in the poorly dim room. She reached for the switch to turn on the light when she noticed Mulder lying on the couch, his arm over his eyes. "Mulder why are you in the dark. It's the middle of the day," she said walking towards him. She sat on the edge of the couch, making him move his long lean body, flush against the back of the couch. She placed the backside of her fingers, gently placing them on his cheek, and then removing his arm over his eyes then feeling his forehead for any sign of a fever. "You don't have a temperature, what's wrong?" she asked seeing his hazel eyes almost turn dark in the dim lighting. She stood up walking towards the window opening the shades and went back to the edge of the couch. She noticed a square shape paper clutched in his other hand that was over his chest. She lifted his hand trying to retrieve it. Opening his fingers, she noticed it was a small photograph. She looked up at him, turning his chin forcing him to look at her. "What is this, Mulder. May I look at it?" she asked. He didn't respond but only glared at her. "Mulder you're scaring me, what is it?" He seemed to finally come back to the living and looked at her, eyes filled with unshed tears. He willfully opened his hand and gave her the small picture. "Who is this Mulder?" she asked feeling her heart sink to the pit of her stomach. she thought to herself. "Talk to me Mulder" He scooted up to a sitting position, still keeping his legs on the couch. "I got a visit today from Diana. She came to me with a whopper of a story." "Oh yea, and what might that story be? Does it have to do with this picture?" Scully nervously asked knowing the outcome of the conversation. "She claims that this child is... is... my son," he said apprehensively. Scully knew what he was going to say, but the words still felt like a knife in her gut. Her eyes welled up unexpectedly, looking at the photograph of this poor, innocent little boy. She needed to ask questions, but the words wouldn't, couldn't come out. All she could do is stand up and excuse herself. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She stood in front of the mirror and placed her hand in the back of her neck where the chip had been implanted 5 years before, this chip that would forever deprive her of giving anyone a child. Not even a child for Mulder. What was she doing in there, feeling sorry for herself, when she should be in the living room consoling or listening to her partner. They both had such an unconditional love between them, a love that didn't need any words. Time and time again, each one showed that they would go to the end of the world for each other, but yet they never crossed that boundary. The boundary that now she knew why he kept locked up and wouldn't let her in. But then again, had she left the door unlocked for him? No, they were the same, very guarded towards each other, but yet so distant. She bent down folding her arms over the sink, and placing her face over her arms, She tried to be strong but her emotions took over and she couldn't hold back the flood of tears that spilled over her arms and onto the sink. She jumped as she felt a soft touch on her shoulders, "Mulder, I don't remember hearing a knock on the door. I don't know what happened to me. I think I'm coming down with something," she tried to choose her words closely so he wouldn't wonder why she was crying. "Scully, I've been with you for six years. You don't think I know you." His voice sounded raspy and weak. He pulled her by the shoulders and turned her around placing his finger under her chin and giving her a weak smile. He took her in his arms and they both embraced not saying a word to each other. "I'm sorry Mulder, I don't know what got into me. You just took me by surprise," she tried to explain. "You're surprised, how do you think I feel. Scully, I'm still numb. I don't know whether to believe her, I don't know. All I know is that I'm very confused, and I'm also very happy that you're here with me. As it should be." He continued saying as her head fit snugly under his chin. "Where do you go from here?" she asked. "I don't know." "How about some ice tea?" he asked breaking the intense moment. "Sounds good," she responded following him out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. "Diana came over a couple of hours ago and tried to clarify the reason she left me. Her explanation was that she found out she was pregnant and she felt it was the best for both of us." He said with a level voice, "The best for both of us," he repeated sarcastically. "If I ask you something, will you get angry?" Scully questioned. "No, of course not." "How do you know she's telling you the truth?" she asked choosing her words carefully. "I don't know Scully, only that she was 5 weeks pregnant when she left me," he said softly, then mused, "Jacob will be 6 years old next month. I don't know Scully, all I have is this picture." The words were barely out of his mouth when they heard a small knock at his front door. They both looked at each other and proceeded to walk towards the door. Mulder looked through the peephole but didn't see anything. He carefully opened the door and found a little boy standing there. He had a plaid shirt with blue jeans on. He was carrying a backpack, which seemed to be filled. His brown hair combed back, and eyes as hazel with specks of gold and brown. "Daddy," the little voice said looking at this towering man in front of him, "Are you my daddy?" For a second Mulder ignored the little boy and quickly looked to his left and then to his right trying to find Diana. He stepped around Jacob and headed down the hallway towards the elevator but the doors were closed and the floor number above the elevator had already registered to the ground floor. Scully knelt down to the child's level smiling at him. "Hi, what's your name?" "Jacob, who are you? Are you Daddy's girlfriend?" he innocently asked. "I'm his friend," she said noticing a small envelope with Fox's name written on it, "What is this?" She went to unpin it and the little boy put his hand over it guarding the note. "Mommy said that Daddy needed to read this" "That's okay Jacob, I'm only unpinning it. I won't read it," she assured him. Mulder walked back to his apartment, noticing the two in conversation. Scully stood up and handed the note to him. "This was pinned to his shirt." Mulder opened the envelope and started reading it. 'Fox, I'd like you to meet your son. I think you two need to get acquainted. I know tomorrow is Monday, but I thought you needed to take a day off of work and be with Jacob. I'll pick him up on Monday at around 9:00pm. Enjoy him.... Diana' He handed the note to Scully for her to read and bent down to Jacob. "Hi Jacob" Jacob took him off guard when he embraced his little arms in a bear hug around Murder's neck and kissed him on the cheek. Mulder stood up carrying him as the little boy wrapped his legs around his waist. Mulder and Jacob walked in the apartment first followed by Scully as she closed the door behind them. Mulder went to the couch and sat down with Jacob still holding him tightly. Scully loosened the tight grip on Mulder long enough to slip the backpack off of the little boy. He was not going to let his Daddy go after so many years away from him. "Do you want something to drink, maybe some orange juice?" Scully asked warmly. Jacob loosened the tight grip around Murder's neck long enough to look at Scully and shake his head in agreement. Scully went to the kitchen and looked for the smallest cup she could find and filled it with juice. Scully thought to herself. She walked back to the living room smiling at the two. "I think I just grew an extra appendage. He won't let me go," Mulder beamed. Scully tapped Jacob's shoulder to get his attention. The child again turned his head barely enough to face her and pick up his arm from his embrace to take the cup. He drank it quickly, gave back the cup and returned the bear hug on Mulder. "Jacob, why are you holding me so tightly?" he asked in a raspy voice from the strangle hold he was being given. "Daddy, I don't want you to go away from me. I want you to be with me all the time," he whimpered. Scully's heart ached to see this little boy who obviously hurt for the love of a father. "Son, I won't leave you, but you do have to let go a little bit, I can't breathe," Mulder recommended. Jacob loosened the hold, kissing him again on the cheek and stayed sitting on his lap. Listening to Murder's use of the word son gave her an uneasy feeling. The simple word sounded like it belonged in his vocabulary but at the same time it saddened her. Scully wanted to ask the boy questions, but she knew it wasn't her place to ask. Plus she didn't know what Mulder was thinking right now. Did he believe this boy was his? She was starting to believe he was. There was no indication of him not being his son. The date of his birth paralleled to the date that she left him, the color of his eyes and hair matched. It had to be his son. "Jacob, what did your Mommy tell you about me?" Mulder asked as he brought him closer to him. "Mommy said you had to live far away because you worked very hard. We had to live far away too. She said you loved me very much and that you were very sad all the time that you lived far from me. But she promised me that we would see you and I am seeing you. You look like the picture mommy has of you," he said excitedly, "but you are very, very tall. Am I going to be tall like you?" "You probably will be Jacob. I was very small when I was your age, just like you. But I ate all my vegetables and I grew this tall. Now if you don't eat your vegetables you'll be short like Dana," he teased. "Jacob, why don't I put the television on to some cartoons, okay. Dana and I have to talk in the kitchen. Do you think that will be okay," he asked placing the boy on the couch. He shook his head as Scully walked to the television set, turning it on and finding the cartoon channel. "What do I do now, Scully?" I don't know the first thing about kids," he nervously said whispering to her. "Mulder, I feel like I have to ask you again," she inquired hesitating, "Are you sure he's your son?" "I don't know Scully, I don't know. He's too little to be told this tale recently and to keep the plot along with his mother. He had to have been told I was his father from a very young age. Scully, what if I am his father. Everything matches. The dates, her illness during the month she left me, the color of his eyes. What if he's my son? Why should I deprive him a father, like I was deprived of mine," he said trying to hide the bitterness at the thought of his betrayal from his father. "Mulder, I can't tell you what to do or how to feel. I just don't want you hurt. What if you get attached to this child and find out that he's not really yours, what's going to happen to you? I can't bare the thought Mulder," she said softly forcing her eyes to meet his. "I guess I'll have to deal with it then. Scully, you wouldn't want to stay here tonight. I don't know the first thing about rearing a child. I'm going to need help," he pleaded giving her that puppy dog look that he knew weakened her. She smiled at him knowing that his expression would get him anything, and the bad thing about it is that they both knew it. "You know how to take advantage of me don't you?" she replied rolling her eyes.. "Me, you wound me Scully, how dare you think I know how to manipulate you." "Let me go home then and pick up some clothes for tomorrow and maybe stop at the store and pickup some kids stuff." She suggested. "Oh no you don't. You're not leaving me here alone. We'll all go together, make it a family thing," he insinuated. She grinned as they both walked back to the living room, watching the concentration in Jacob's face watching the Flintstones. "Son, we're going for a drive, how about going to Dana's house and then going to the store. Would you like that?" Mulder asked turning the t.v. Off. He jumped off the couch and ran to grab a hold of Murder's hand. "Let's go" "Jacob, do you have to go to the bathroom first?" Scully asked. Jacob thought, rolling his eyes pondering at the thought. Then shook his head in agreement. "The bathroom is down the hall," said Mulder pointing. "Then he turned to Scully, "How did you know he had to go?" "Mulder, that may be the single most important question you can ask a child, unless you don't mind a puddle in the back seat of your car, don't you know that?" "How the hell am I supposed to know * that *? The urination habits of small children was not a covered subject in my training at Quantico." Scully smiled. Jacob bounced back out of the bathroom, plopping himself back down on Murder's lap, hands till dripping wet. "Jacob, wasn't there a towel on the rack?" asked Mulder. "I dunno, Daddy," answered Jacob, drying his hands thoroughly on Murder's pants. Scully suppressed a grin. "Daddy, is that lady your girlfriend?" pondered Jacob as he pointed at Scully. Scully pretended to be interested in picking a piece of lint off of her pants. "Uh, no" Mulder answered a little too quickly. "No, no she's not, son. She's my partner. We work together" "Oh, well... don't you like her? Why come you don't like her Daddy?" "I like her" Mulder answered defensively. "I like her. Why don't we get ready to go and we can. . . " "Then why come she isn't your girlfriend? She's pretty. Don't you think she's pretty, Daddy?" Scully grinned, now over her initial embarrassment at the child's questions and really beginning to enjoy watching Mulder squirm. "Yes, Scully is pretty. Okay, I think that's enough talk for right now. Let's go, all right?" "But," Scully teased, "why come do we have to leave right * now *? Mulder shot her the meanest glance he could muster under the circumstances and shoved his arms into his jacket. "Jacob, here... put on your jacket. Let me zip it for you." Mulder was obviously trying to hurry all three of them out of the apartment. Jacob complied and stood still while Mulder zipped his coat, but just when Mulder thought he was going to make a clean getaway, to his chagrin, the boy began to sing. "Daddy and Dana sittin' in a tree, K - I - S - S - I - N - G First comes love, then comes marriage..." "Okay" interrupted Mulder, "I'd say we're ready to go" Mulder seat belted the child in the back seat and got in the car. "Scully, what are we doing?" he asked with a confused look. "Heck if I know, working by the seat of our pants, let's just pretend it's an X- File," Scully teased. "That's more like it, I can handle that." Mulder responded driving towards Scully's place. They got out of the car and went up to Scully's apartment. "Daddy, why does Dana live here, doesn't she live with you?" he innocently asked. "Out of the mouth's of babe's," Scully said as she walked to her bedroom and started packing some clothes for the next couple of days. They reached the grocery store and all three got out of the car, with Jacob walking between the two grown-ups. He took a hold of Murder's hand and then snaked his hand onto Scully's. Mulder and Scully looked at each other and smiled. Jacob started hopping and skipping, as he would jerk their arms in the movement. Scully's throat tightened as she saw the image of the three. This would never happen. They took her chance of baring any children away from her as she again picked up her other hand and felt the chip on the back of her neck. Mulder caught site of her as she did that and his smile faded quickly. He knew exactly what she was thinking and his heart ached as well. They bought healthy groceries for the three, unlike the junk food that Mulder usually has in his kitchen and within an hour they were back in the apartment. The three ended watching cartoons most of the day, as Jacob would curl up next to Mulder. At times when Mulder had to get off the couch to go to the bathroom, Jacob would be fast on his heels. "Okay Jacob, this I can do by myself, why don't you stay with Dana. I won't go anywhere, I promise. I'll be right back," he comforted the boy. As the hours past, Scully noticed the quick attachment that Mulder was having with the child. Scully wondered as she saw the interaction. It was around 7:00 p.m. and Jacob's little eyes started drooping. "Jacob, what time do you go to bed?" she asked. "Very very late, Mommy says I'm a big boy and I could stay up." He tried to make it sound convincing. "I don't know about that son, it looks like you're going down for the count. Why don't you get ready for bed?" Mulder responded, "Let's see what you have in your back pack," he inquired as he took out the boy's pajamas, a pair of underwear and some sox. His Batman toothbrush and Batman toothpaste were also retrieved from the bag. "How about a shower first before you go to bed?" Scully suggested, as both Mulder and Jacob looked with a horrified expression, both for different reasons of course. "I already took a bath!" Jacob protested. "How long ago?" Scully joked remembering how her Godson would do anything to avoid them. "Daddy do I have to?" he asked with the look that only Mulder knew so well. The same looks that he seemed to give to Scully. "What goes around comes around," Scully mocked to Mulder. Scully went in the bathroom to get the water running at a warm temperature, "Daddy, what is she doing? She's not going to give me a bath. I can do it, but my Mommy helps me with my hair, can you help me wash my hair. I don't want her to help me with my hair," he kept on rambling on. Scully walked out of the shower ready to help Jacob off with his clothes when he ran behind Mulder and grabbed him around the thigh. "Scully, I think this is going to be my job," he nervously said, "whether I want to or not," he whispered. Scully had the biggest grin on her face and said, "Damn, where is a camera when I need one." Mulder and Jacob went in the bathroom leaving the door ajar, Mulder thought to himself. He sat on the toilet seat as he proceeded to take Jacob's T-shirt off. He sat Jacob on his lap while he managed to take his tennis shoes off and socks then stood him up again helping him with the button and zipper from his jeans. He slipped his jeans and underwear off and opened the shower curtain as he carried him over the side of the tub. He handed him the washcloth and the soap, "Can you put the soap on the towel?" Jacob asked. Mulder did as he was told. He handed him back the washcloth watching the boy wash himself. He tried thinking back at his age, did his mom help him with this task. That was so long ago. 70 1 Sins of Our Past - 4/8 CorrineLS@earthlink.net (Lakota) "Daddy I'm ready, could you wash my hair now." Jacob asked. Mulder opened the shower curtain again and gasped at the cold splash of water that was thrown to him. Jacob was laughing as he decided to throw water on the unexpected Mulder. "You want to play, huh" he said as he went to grab the slippery little naked boy, but all he ended in doing was putting his body under the shower nozzle and getting soaked himself. Scully was sitting on Murder's bed, listening to the laughter coming out of the bathroom. Instant jealousy ripped at her, and then guilt. "Let's get your hair washed, or we'll both end up with a cold," Mulder said trying to change his tone to sound with more authority, but wasn't working, as Jacob started laughing again. He put way too much shampoo on the little boy's hair. He ended up with so many suds that Mulder was having a heck of a time trying to wash it out, "Scully!" he shouted, but instantly had to say, "Never mind" when he noticed the panic look on Jacob's face. The suds were all over Murder's shirt along with soapsuds in Jacob' eyes. The boy was trying to be brave but then started crying as the soap started burning his eyes. "I'm sorry son, obviously I don't know what I'm doing," Mulder said feeling bad. "That's okay Daddy, it only hurts a little." Jacob reassured him. Mulder pondered. He finally washed the excess shampoo out, got the soap washed off of his eyes and rinsed him off. He carried him out of the tub and dried him down. Mulder proceeded in helping him dress and then handed the toothbrush filled with blue and white Batman toothpaste. He combed his hair, and took a big sigh of relief. "What a handsome man you are," Mulder said in accomplishment of is fatherly duties. They both walked out of the bathroom onto the bedroom when Scully burst out in laughter. "Jacob, did you take your daddy a bath or did he take you a bath," she joked as she saw the drenched, soap filled Mulder walking out along with him. "No funny stuff, this was hard work. Can you get him ready for... wait a minute, what are our sleeping arrangement." He said trying to get back at Scully for her mockery. "I'm taking the couch, you two men can have the bed," she returned back the taunting. She walked close to Mulder and whispered, "Would you like help with your bath," and then walked away. Murder's eye's widened, "Why Scully, is that an offer?" "Dream on partner, dream on," Mulder grabbed his clothes and headed for the shower while Scully went up to Jacob, "Come Jacob, while Daddy takes a shower, I'll give you some cookies and milk, would you like that?" He shook his head in agreement and followed her to the kitchen. About 15 minutes later Mulder came out, hair slicked and clean "Ah, two peas in a pod," Scully couldn't resist as she saw Mulder take hold of Jacob's hand and took him to the bedroom. Scully thought, following close behind. Mulder pulled the covers from the bed as Jacob climbed on top of it with Mulder helping him the rest of the way, then pulled the covers over him. "Daddy, you have to read to me. My book is in the bag," he said as he grabbed his hand before Mulder had a chance to leave. Scully stood by the doorway with her arms clasped over her chest. "Come on Daddy, read to him", she teased. Mulder went to the backpack and pulled out the book. "Peter Pan, umm my favorite. Okay, if I read to you will you go to sleep?" he asked as he started walking towards the bed. "Promise daddy," Jacob said starting to jump up and down on the bed with glee. Mulder got to the edge of the bed and Jacob threw himself in Murder's arms. "Ohh," Mulder gasped from the unexpected weight on his chest as Jacob bounced in his arms. "Jacob you knocked the wind out of me. No jumping if you want me to read." Mulder got in the other side of the bed and covered himself as well. Jacob cuddled close to him getting himself comfortable. Mulder opened the book and started reading . The Darling family lived in a big house in London. The nursery was a happy place. Nana the dog was in charge, and Wendy told wonderful stories, which her brothers, Michael and John, acted out. One night Michael and John played a trick on their father. He decided that Wendy's stories were to blame. Scully's was leaning against the wall right outside the bedroom door listening to Murder's story telling. She admitted that he was a natural born daddy. Maybe because he seemed so childlike himself. He kept on reading page after page, when he noticed Jacob's little eyes starting to close. Instead of turning one page, he thought he would grab about 5 pages at one time: "Smee!" Peter shouted, imitating Hook's voice. "Take the girl back to her people." The plan almost worked. But Hook found Peter's hiding place, and Peter had to duel with him. "DADDY! You're cheating; not the way story goes. You not reading right" Jacob shouted quickly sitting up. "Oh my gosh son, I accidentally turned too many pages. You are really smart. Let me go back to where I was. Thank you for telling me," Mulder feigned. Scully had to put her hand to her mouth to hold back the laughter. "Mulder you found your match" she whispered to herself. Mulder went back and started reading the book. After about 5 minutes of reading there was complete silence. Scully turned towards the crack on the door and peaked in. Mulder was fast asleep with the book still in his hand but over his chest. Jacob was propped up on his right hand, elbow on the bed. With his left hand he was playing with Murder's nose. Scully tip toed in the bedroom trying desperately to stifle a laugh. "Jacob honey, you made your daddy fall asleep. Don't you think it's time for you to go to bed." She asked gently taking the book from Murder's hand. "Dana, Daddy very tired," as he started poking Murder's eyelids. "Daddy tried to be funny and not read book" "Yes Daddy could be very funny. He always makes me laugh," Scully snickered. "Dana could you read the book?" he pleaded. She walked around to the other side and lay on the bed. "Okay, only if you promise to go to sleep. You don't want to wake your daddy, do you? He looks very tired, so if I read you the book you have to promise me to try to go to sleep." She instructed. He agreed as he helped pull the covers on the other side so she could slide in. "Hook tried to trick Peter by daring him to fight without flying. "Don't do it, Peter!" cried Wendy, but Peter took the challenge. After several narrow escapes, Peter defeated the dreaded pirate. Then Mr. Darling spotted the pirate ship, sailing past the nursery window. He blinked in amazement. "I think I've seen that ship somewhere before, long ago," he said, hugging his wife and daughter. Scully closed the book turning to see Jacob snuggled up against Mulder. She smiled as she carefully got out of the bed and went around to Mulder's side, covering them both. She turned off the lamplight and walked out the bedroom. It was barely 9:00 p.m., "Wow Mulder, this is a record for you" she smiled as she got on the couch and covered herself. Scully was sound asleep feeling a nudging on her shoulder. Thinking is was a dream she started to turn on the confined couch when she opened her eyes and found little Jacob standing next to her wrenching in sobs. "Honey it's 3:00 in the morning, what's the matter, are you scared?" she asked rubbing her sleep filled eyes, quickly sitting up glancing at the clock on the center table. "Daddy's crying, can't wake him," he wept grabbing her arm pulling her to follow him. she thought as she stood up, "Honey, Daddy is probably having a bad dream. Let's go see if we could help him." They both walked in the dark bedroom and found Mulder moaning, stirring in his sleep. Still holding his hand, she walked close to the bed and sat on the edge. "We have to be careful when we wake him. We might end up scaring him. He's just having a bad dream. Have you ever had a bad dream, Jacob?" she asked trying to make him understand that he wasn't hurt. He shook his head slowly in agreement. "Mulder wake up, Mulder" she said softly pushing his hair off of his face, "You're having a nightmare, wake up" Jacob quietly climbed on the other side of the bed and crawled up close imitating Scully, "Daddy, wake, you have bad dream, wake" he said tearfully touching his face with his little hand. Mulder opened his eyes instantly gasping for air and sitting up quickly. "Scully," he said loudly not realizing Jacob next to him. "Daddy you scared me, you were sad" the little boy crawled closer to him. "I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to scare you, I was..." he said feeling bad seeing the affect he had caused on the little boy. "I know daddy, Dana told me you have bad dreams. I have monster dreams sometimes, you have monster dreams? I here to take care of you." He tried to console Mulder wrapping his arms around his stomach. Scully's mind wandered. "Daddy, you be okay, Dana here to take care of you, I run to bathroom and be back to take care of you, okay?" he announced forcing a smile. "Yes Jacob, Dana will stay here until you come back." Mulder reassured him. "What were you dreaming about?" Scully asked looking at Jacob skip to the bathroom. "I don't even remember. I scared Jacob didn't I?" he said sadly and continued, "Scully he has to be my son. How many hours have we been with him, and he's already taken a part of my heart." "He has to me too Mulder," she said softly watching Jacob running back and bouncing on the bed. "Daddy, I dried hands very good this time," he announced proudly. Scully and Mulder smiled watching the child cuddle close to him. "Dana, you go now, I take care of daddy. He won't have bad dreams no more cause I going to protect him," he demanded as he tried to pull the heavy blanket over Mulder and planting a wet kiss on his cheek. "Thank you Jacob, I'll sleep a lot better knowing that you are taking care of your daddy," she said standing up and leaving the bedroom. "Wake up, wake up, wake up" hollered Jacob as he was jumping up and down the bed trying to wake Mulder up. "Jacob stop jumping, you're going to fall," Mulder tried scolding. "Let's play" he snickered as he climbed all over Mulder and started tickling him. "Okay, okay you win. What time is it?" Mulder asked. "Daddy, I don't know to tell time. You silly," he commented starting to laugh. Mulder crawled out of bed and noticed it was barely 6:30am "Jacob, you have got to be kidding. How can you be so perky at this time? I bet Dana is still asleep. We have to be quiet so we won't wake her, is that a deal." Mulder encouraged. "Shhh, I be quiet," "Come on then, let's go brush our teeth, might as will start the day." Mulder muttered dragging himself out of bed. Jacob ran to the bathroom and grabbed his Batman toothbrush and Batman toothpaste. "Daddy, you want to use my Batman paste," he said as he grabbed for Murder's toothbrush and squeezed way too much paste onto the brush. "What I live for, tooty fruity Batman Toothpaste," he grumbled. Jacob rinsed off his mouth and proceeded to open the toiled lid, pull down his pajama pants and stood on his tippy toes to relieve himself. He finished, flushed the toilet, put down the lid, climbed on top of the toilet seat, threw himself over the sink, turned on the faucet, washed his hands, turned the faucet off, then climbed off the toilet seat and dried his hands on Murder's boxers and started laughing. Mulder watching him the whole time as he brushed his teeth with the blue and white fowl tasting paste the he was offered. "Jacob, why did you do that?" he asked annoyed at the feeling of his very wet boxers. "Can't reach towel," he said as a matter of fact. "You can stay in here, but you have to behave, is that a deal?" Mulder asked rinsing his mouth. "Uh, huh," he responded. Mulder pulled out the shaving cream and applied it all over his cheeks, chin and upper lip. "DADDY, what are you doing? You look funny" he giggled. "Haven't you seen anyone shave?" he asked. "Nope. Why you put that on your face? Can I do that?" he asked sliding off the toilet seat and jumping up and down. "Jacob, do you ever stop jumping. Look, if you keep still I'll put some on your face," he ordered carrying him and putting him back on the toilet seat. He bent down and poured the shaving cream on his fingertips and applied it all over Jacob's cheeks, chin and upper lip just like his. "Well, look what we have here. If only I had a camera," Scully teased walking by the bathroom door and peaking in. "Scully, what happens if we didn't have any clothes on, don't you knock?" Mulder tantalized. "Yea, you better close your eyes 'cause you can see daddy's underwear." He snickered jumping off the toilet seat again and standing in front of Mulder with his arms outstretched to cover him up. "Sorry, I won't look, next time close the door," she sighed. "That was close, thanks for covering me up, son," he informed the boy, looking at Scully through the mirror and winking at her. Mulder took the razor and started shaving himself. "Daddy, do I do that too?" he asked turning himself around and embracing him around his hips. "Okay, my boxers are wet and now filled with shaving cream. Do you want to put some Batman tooty fruity toothpaste on me as well?" he asked sarcastically. "What you mean?" Jacob asked innocently. "Never mind," he explained again lifting him up and sitting him on the toilet seat. Mulder took the washcloth and soaked it with warm water, wiping the cream off of the child's face. "Okay, you're done. Why don't you go see Dana while I take a shower and I'll meet you out there in a bit," he advised. Jacob wiggled off the seat and ran to the living room, while Mulder proceeded to take a shower. He went to the kitchen where Scully was making breakfast for the three. "Where is." She started to ask thinking how she thought she wouldn't hear Mulder and daddy in the same sentence. "Taking shower," he responded sitting on the chair next to the table. "Jacob, did your mommy tell you stories about your daddy?" she asked. "Yes, all the time. I prayed to see Daddy. All friends had daddy's but I didn't. Mommy said I would see daddy one day. I happy 'cause daddy is so nice. I love daddy," he rambled on. Mulder walked into the kitchen combed, shaved, and looking way too good, Scully thought to herself. "How did you sleep?' he asked opening the refrigerator door and taking out the carton of milk. "Why you slept on that couch for all those years is beyond me," is all she said, "And you?" "Well, the phrase, sleeping with someone took a whole different meaning for me last night," he joked, "By the way, did you call work?" "Yes, I told them we were working from home," she responded serving the plate for Jacob, "So what's the itinerary for today, Daddy?" she emphasized. "Hell if I know," he started to say when he got interrupted. "Umm, daddy say bad word." He said with his mouthful of scrambled egg. Mulder and Scully cleaned the kitchen, while Jacob went to get dressed and ready for the day. The three ended in at the park, taking pictures of each other. They played on the swings, put Jacob on the slide, and ended playing baseball. Jacob would hit the ball and run to the base. On one of his base running, Jacob slipped and fell skinning his knee. He tried hard not to cry as the tears rolled down his face. His little lips quivering trying to be a big boy. "Honey, it's okay to cry if it hurts" Scully assured him opening her first aid kit that she carried in the trunk of her car. "It sure is son. You'll still be a big boy even if you cry," he tried consoling him by holding him while Dana washed off the scrape. The gash was fairly deep, as she wiped the blood off, putting ointment and bandaging it. She was about to throw the open-woven fabric of linen she was using to clean the cut, when she thought of the blood sample that was on the gauze. She carefully folded it and placed it in a plastic bag that was in the kit. "Well, this deserves an ice cream" Mulder tried to console the boy as he carried him up and they started walking towards the car. Scully picked up the ball, bat and mitt and followed behind. Hours later they were all back in the apartment, and resting from the busy day's activity. Mulder carried him to the bedroom and placed him in bed to take a nap. "Scully will you do me a favor and watch him while I go to the drugstore and take the film to the one-hour photo. I'd like to develop these pictures." He asked. She smiled as he grabbed his keys and jacket and headed out the door. "Frohike, is that you?" Scully asked after dialing the phone to the Long Gunmen's apartment. "Yea, how's Daddy Mulder?" he teased. "He's in heaven, Frohike. He is having the time of his life," she responded, "Were you able to get any information on Diana?" "We found out some information on the assignment that Mulder and Diana were on during the death of Star. The Serial Killer they were looking for was named Jack Stimpson. He was a violent psychotic that would kidnap small children and abuse them before killing them. It appears that this was a very tough assignment for them. . It states in the records that there were four main agents working to capture this criminal. The four were Mulder and Diana of course and two other agents, by the names of Agent Joseph Miller and Gary Lane. We also came across a bit of information about Gary Lane that had nothing to do with the assignment, but I think it might be valuable information. He was killed in an automobile accident on September 30th. It appears that they did some investigating thinking that the accident was deliberate, but the final status was that it was merely a drunk driver running a red light." Frohike explained reading the monitor. "Mulder never told me of two other agents on the same job, but then again he didn't say much about that assignment. Frohike, can you pull the FBI records and see what Gary and Joseph looked like? "Well lets see, Agent Joseph Miller, white male, 5'11", 165 pounds, blond hair, blue eyes, 30 years of age," he informed, "Why is this important?" "I don't know yet Frohike, just fishing right now. Wait, I think I hear Jacob. Let me go to the bedroom and we could continue our conversation," she said walking in the bedroom seeing Jacob sitting up on the bed wanting to cry. "What's the matter, honey?" she asked placing the cell phone on the nightstand and sitting on the bed along side of him. "Bad dream like daddy," he whimpered then looked around nervously, "Where's daddy?" "He went to the store, but I'm here watching you. He'll be right back and then he could be here with you, okay" she comforted him, "Here come lay on my lap and I'll rock you to sleep, do you want me to" He crawled on her lap and nuzzled in her arms. She stretched to get the cell phone and leaned back against the headboard. "Sounds like a very likeable little boy. This is not going to be an easy outcome is it?" Frohike told Scully over the phone. "No, I think whatever the outcome is, someone is going to be hurt. And I'm hoping it won't be Mulder. Okay Frohike, little one is back to sleep, let's finish before Mulder comes back." "Well lets pull out Gary Lane's file," Frohike said clearing Joseph Miller's file. "Whoa, this is spooky!" he gasped. "What?" Scully quickly asked. "You have got to see his picture. He could be Murder's long lost brother. Let me see, it says he's 6'4", 190 pounds, brown hair and hazel eyes, 36 years old. Agent Scully, the likeness to Mulder is uncanny. "Frohike am I pulling at straws, but do you think? Wow I know I'm really stretching. What if Diana was seeing Gary Lane and became pregnant with his child. If you say that Agent Lane resembles Mulder, then that would justify the likeness to Mulder. You said that Agent Lane was killed on September 30th, correct?" she examined. "If that was the case, then maybe she found out she was pregnant after the accident. When she found out she was pregnant, she chose to leave Mulder instead of him finding out the truth." "But why leave, I mean if Mulder didn't know there was an affair going on, then she could have lied to him from the beginning, as she's doing it now," Frohike considered. "Maybe she didn't know whose child it was? Or maybe someone knew and was about to say something to Mulder," she concluded, "Either way, maybe we'll find out the truth. Frohike, I have a blood sample from Jacob that I need checked. We can match it with Murder's DNA. And heaven knows we have enough of his samples with all the injuries he seems to contract." "Agent Scully, what did you do, cut the boy on purpose?" he joked. "Of course not. He scraped himself playing baseball with Mulder. Look when Mulder gets back I'll make some excuse to leave for a couple of hours. I'll take the sample to have it checked. There might not be a way to check to see if it's a match to Agent Gary Lane, but we can check to see if it matches Mulder. Frohike, I've got to go, I hear the front door. I'll call you later. Oh yea, one more thing. Anything on the day of the stakeout when Star was killed?" she told. "No, we're still checking," he responded quickly. "Keep on looking, talk to you later." She said hanging up the cell phone and placing it back on the nightstand. "Scully have you been with Jacob the whole time I was gone?" he inquired walking towards her. "No, just within the last 10 minutes. He woke up startled looking for you. I told him I'd stay with him until you got here. Can you help me move him to the bed." She asked. He placed the envelope of pictures on the bed and carried Jacob walking him to the other side of the bed and laying him down. "How did the pictures turn out?" she asked him picking up the pictures and start flipping through them. "Great, I have a handsome son" he proudly said. "And you're so unpretentious too. And yes they are great photos" she grinned. After looking at all of them she handed to them and said, "Mulder if you don't mind, I'm going to abandon you for a couple of hours, probably less. I need to go back to my apartment and get some stuff." She told already grabbing her keys and heading out the door not giving him an opportunity to ask any questions. Scully quickly drove to the Bureau to take Jacob's blood sample to have tested. "Sally I have a huge favor to ask of you. It is very confidential and it is only to be for yours and my eyes only." She asked her friend at the lab. "Of course I can Dana, but what's the big secrecy?" Sally obliged. "If it's okay with you, I'll explain later. Do you think you can get the results as soon as possible?" she requested. "I'll do my best. I'll get started on it right away. You know it usually takes about 21 days, but I'll do my best" Sally assured taking the plastic bag that Scully had in her hand. "Can you take the blood samples we have on file from my partner and see if there's a match?" Scully said between breaths as a matter of fact, "Please no questions right now." Scully then drove to her apartment to get some more clothes to make the excuse more credible for leaving Mulder and Jacob. She reached Murder's apartment in no time and decided to use her key to go in. She walked in smiling as she saw Mulder lay sideways, legs on the couch working on their next assignment. Jacob sitting on the floor between the couch and coffee table crayons in hand and coloring on a coloring book. "You're getting to be a pro at this Mulder. I don't know why you were so worried." She shrugged taking her clothes to Murder's bedroom. She walked back to the living room and tapped on Murder's feet to move over. He scurried up against the armrest of the couch and bent his knees. Scully sat at the edge of the couch. "So Jacob, what are you drawing?" Scully asked the little boy. He stood up taking his coloring book and jumping on Scully's lap. "He's got a thing about hopping and jumping" Mulder mentioned as he peaked over the stapled papers he was reading. He took off his glasses and placed them on the center table. "What are you drawing?" Scully asked. "Well, see this is mommy," Jacob said pointing at a stick figured character on the right side of the coloring book. "And here is daddy, and here is mommy Dana" then he giggled. Mulder looked at Scully and grinned. "Honey that's a beautiful picture and that sounded so nice when you called me mommy Dana, but what if your mommy gets mad for calling me that," she commented. "Ummm, why? I want you to be my mommy Dana," he said confused not knowing why his mother would get angry. "Son if you want, why don't we make it a secret. You can call Dana, mommy Dana only when the three of us around. But when you are with your mommy, you call her Dana. Is that okay?" Mulder stated trying to make the boy understand. "Okay daddy, okay mommy Dana," he agreed. Dana placed the boy back on the floor as she sat on the floor close to the center table and started coloring with Jacob. Jacob was in complete concentration when Scully turned to ask Mulder is a hushed voice. "When does Diana come to pick him up?" Mulder mouthed the word 9:00pm. Scully looked at her watch and noticed it was already around 5:00pm. "Why don't we have dinner somewhere so we can get back early" she suggested. The three went to the local restaurant and had their dinner. They looked at amazement at Jacob slurping his spaghetti noodles in his mouth. They were back home at 6:30. Scully informed Mulder that she was going to pack Jacob's clothes back in the backpack and start getting ready for Diana's arrival. "Mulder, I really shouldn't be here when she comes," she suggested. "You have more right than anyone to be here. Besides mommy Dana, you have to be here to say bye to Jacob. "Jacob, why don't you get ready for your shower. Your mommy is coming to pick you up in a couple of hours. I'll be in the room in a couple of minutes to warm your bath and your daddy will be there to take you a bath, okay," she spoke. Jacob went running to the bedroom and went to the backpack starting to grab and throw everything in the backpack. He stripped completely ready for his bath. He climbed on the bed and started jumping up and down on the bed. Scully walked in followed by Mulder. They both looked at the little boy completely naked, jumping up and down on the bed. "I guess modesty has been thrown out the window," Mulder quipped. "Does the saying, like father like son fit in this situation," Scully implied. "You wish, would you like for me to strip and start jumping," he gave it right back. She knew that with Mulder, he always had to have the last word. "Jacob, jumping again, and where's your clothes, Scully is here," Mulder informed. "It's okay daddy, she's my mommy Dana, she could see me. But you still have to give me a bath," he instructed as he ran on the bed and jumped on Murder's arms. "This boy is going to be a gymnast, or a runner, he can't seem to keep his feet on the ground," Mulder said carrying the little naked boy in the bathroom. Scully followed getting the bath water at a comfortable temperature. "Mulder, if you give him a bath the way you did last night, you should get in the shower with him. If I remember right, you were wetter than he was," "Yes daddy, yes daddy, you take shower with me. Please daddy, please daddy," he insisted. Mulder gave a peeved look at her, as she walked out grinning, licking her index finger and drawing an imaginary mark in front of her. "Dana 1, Fox 0" she joked, walking out of the bathroom leaving the door ajar as she heard Jacob over and over again insisting that Mulder take a shower with him. 70 10 Sins of Our Past - 5/8 CorrineLS@earthlink.net (Lakota) "Jacob, I'll take you a bath okay, I already took one this morning," Mulder tried to get out of Jacob's constant begging. "Daddy please, daddy please," he kept on insisting. She was right outside the bathroom door when she heard Mulder say, "I'm going to kill you Scully, you owe me one" "Jacob you win, but if you try anything, you'll get your first spanking from your daddy," Mulder said loosing the battle. He undressed and got in the bath with him. she thought as she found the camera on the dresser, focused it and tiptoed in the bathroom. In one swift movement, she flung the shower curtain open and pressed the button on the camera. In perfect view were the two, with their heads filled with shampoo. Murder's eyes were closed and Jacob started laughing. She was able to snap another picture then quickly put the camera on the sink. "SCULLY!" Mulder shouted trying to wipe the shampoo out of his eyes and simultaneously grabbing Scully by the waist. "Jacob wet her!" Mulder shouted not letting her go. Jacob cupped his little hands and threw water at her over and over again. Jacob's laughter and Scully's screams filled the room. "I'm sorry Mulder, I give up," she pleaded, "If you don't I'll take matter's in my own hands, if you know what I mean" she warned as Mulder quickly let her go. She took the camera and grabbed a towel drying her hair off. She went to her night bag and changed into dry clothes. Mulder and Jacob stayed in the shower for about 10 minutes longer and they both came out with towels wrapped around their waist. Scully tried but didn't succeed in trying to suppress her laughter. "Does the word blackmail mean anything to you partner." He gave her a piercing look that only made her laugh even harder. She took out a pair of underwear, pajamas and socks out of the backpack and called Jacob over to help him get dressed. "Honey, we have to get you dressed, your mommy is coming to pick you up soon" she sorrowfully said. His little face quickly turned from laughter to sadness. "No, I don't want to go. I love mommy, but I don't want to leave daddy. Daddy, I never saw you before and I love you and I don't want me to go. Mommy Dana, I love you too and I don't want to go" he cried as he ran to Mulder and wrapped his arms around Murder's waist. Mulder bent down and gave him a hug. "Son I don't want you to leave either. You have changed my life completely these last two days. Jacob I'm not going to let your mommy take you so far away. I promise. I'm going to be seeing you a lot." He assured him. Jacob couldn't control his sobs as Mulder hugged him closer to him. "Honey, there is no reason to cry, I told you already that Mommy Dana and I are going to spend a lot of time together," he said as he carried him up and the towel slipping out of his waist. "Oops," Mulder said trying to lighten up the atmosphere. "Why don't you let mommy Dana finish getting you dressed while I do the same." He suggested. He carried Jacob to Dana so she could dress him. They both locked eyes and their expression said it all. Mulder went to his dresser to pull out his boxers, sweats and T-shirt and walked back to the bathroom. Scully dressed Jacob and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Jacob, can you wait here for a bit. I'm going to see if you're daddy is okay." She said as she walked to the bathroom and tapped on the door. "Mulder, can I come in?" she asked softy. "Uh huh," she barely heard him say. She walked in seeing him sit on the toilet seat, still with a towel wrapped around him. "I knew this was going to happen," she said as she knelt in front of him trying to get his attention. "This isn't fair Scully. She brings him to me and then she expects to take him back so easily. Tell me how I'm going to be able to say bye to Jacob when I see him get in the elevator and see the doors close" he said. "She won't keep him away from you. If she didn't want you to be a part of his life, she would never have brought him to you," she assured him. "Why don't you get dressed and let's enjoy the time that we have with him" She stood up and kissed him on the top of his head and walked out. "Mommy Dana, is daddy okay?" he asked clutching Murder's pillow close to him. "Yes he is. He's just sad, like I am. But Jacob we are going to see you a lot. I promise you," she said sitting next to him. Mulder walked in the bedroom with a forced smile. "Hey son, how about a hug," he asked as he stretched his arms and Jacob jumped off the bed and ran to him. Mulder carried Jacob to the living room sitting on the couch. Scully turned the television on changing it to the cartoon channel and sitting at the other end of the couch. Jacob stretched his little hand asking Scully to sit closer. She scooted closer holding on to his hand. Jacob stayed cuddled in Murder's arms until he fell asleep. The time went too fast as 9:00 p.m. came and the knock they were dreading sounded. "Mulder I'm going to the bedroom so you and Diana could talk" she offered as she stood up. "No Scully, you stay here. I need you here with me," he said as he gently woke up the sleeping boy. "Honey your mommy is here" he announced gently stirring the boy to wake up. He opened his eyes rubbing them with his hands. Mulder stood up and sat Jacob on the couch. He walked to the door and hesitated, taking a deep breath before he opened it. "Hi Fox, did Jacob behave?" Diana asked a little nervous. "He was very well behaved, you've done good Diana" he said to her as he let her in. She took a couple of steps and was aback when she saw Dana. "Mommy," Jacob said with excitement as he ran to her hugging her and kissing her on the cheek. "Hi baby, did you have fun?' she asked the little boy. "Mommy, I'm very happy. I love my daddy. He took me to play baseball and we went to the store and we went to eat and we watched cartoons and we colored and he read to me," Jacob narrated all in one breath. "Hi Agent Scully, I didn't realize that you were here," she said with a sly remark. "Hello Diana, I'll go get his backpack, Jacob do you want to come with me?" she asked holding on to his hand and leading him to the bedroom. "Fox I do want to thank you for watching him. I wanted you to get to meet him" she repeated. "Diana, how dare you do this to me. How dare you bring him into my life and so casually take him away" he said enraged. "What do you mean how dare I. I brought him to you. I didn't have to ever do this. I didn't even have to tell you that you had a son," she repeated with indignation. "Diana what do you want from me? If you say you want him to know me, then I want him to stay with me for awhile. You can't bring him into my life and then take him away. I'll fight you for him Diana. I will," he demanded. Scully walked out with Jacob handing the backpack to Mulder. "Well honey, I'm going to miss you. You are coming back to visit us, right," Scully said mournfully. Jacob went to her and wrapped his arms around her neck. He picked up her hair from her ear and whispered, "Mommy Dana I love you. I want to be back. Mommy will bring me back. I promise I won't throw water in the shower anymore," the little boy tried to say as his eyes filled with tears. Scully stood up and walked to the bedroom, leaving Mulder to say his good-byes to Jacob. She knew she should stay there to support Mulder, but she knew that they needed to be alone. And he needed to say his good-byes to Jacob. Jacob turned around and ran to Mulder, and hugged his thighs. Mulder crouched down to retrieve the boy. Jacob took a hold of his face with his little hands and kept on kissing him all over his cheeks, his eyes, his nose. He kept on kissing him all over. Mulder couldn't stand the knot that was putting pressure in his throat. His heart ached in his chest feeling that it might pop out of this shirt. "I love you daddy. I love you daddy," Jacob said when he broke down. His quiet tears started rolling down his eyes and he couldn't hold it any longer. He started sniveling and squeezing him tightly. "Mommy I don't want to go. I want to stay here with daddy. Please mommy, please" "Son, if you don't go home with your mom, she's going to be sad. Your mom told me that you'll be able to come back and visit Dana and me," he said trying to console the boy. He bent down placing the boy on the floor and walking towards the door. "Diana, when can I see him again? You said you moved back here, is that true?" "Yes it is. I'm renting an apartment about 10 minutes from here. I have transferred back and I'll be at work tomorrow. I've enrolled Jacob in kindergarten and yes, you'll be able to see him as much as you want." She assured him. She took a hold of his hand and started for the door. Scully heard the door open and went to Mulder barely holding onto his hand. Diana took a glimpse of the minor affection towards the two and turned around. Diana and Jacob started walking down the hall as Jacob turned around and wiggled his little fingers saying good bye. "I love you daddy," he shouted to Mulder and then mouthed the words "I love you mommy Dana, then looked up quickly hoping that his mother wouldn't see him." Both Mulder and Scully waved back watching them get in the elevator, doors closing. Scully took his hand and walked the dazed Mulder back into the apartment. She walked him to the couch and had him sit down. Mulder stared into space, not saying a word, not shedding a tear. She pulled him close to her and cradled him to her chest. "Mulder you have to say something. You have to let it out or it's going to eat you inside," she whispered. At her words, his body started shaking, almost as if he needed her approval to demonstrate his anguish. She felt his tears on her shirt as she started massaging his back. "Scully, I can't take this. I thought when I lost Samantha I wasn't going to be able to live on. Now I feel worse. Two days and I feel like I'm no one without him. I..." he said trying to stop from crying anymore. "Remember what you told Jacob at the park, it's okay to cry," she reminded him. Two times in 4 days she had to hold him in this manner, trying to be there for him, but yet not able to make him feel better. She held him tightly rocking him as he stayed silently until his tears tired him out. "Mulder, Diana said she moved in the area and she's back working at the Bureau. We'll try to get visitation rights; maybe we won't even need that. She obviously wants you to be a part of his life or like she said, she would not have brought him to you" she remarked. She was planning on going back to her apartment that evening but decided against it. She didn't want to leave him alone. The next morning they both got ready, and drove together to the office, keeping conversation to a limit. He had taken the pictures to the office and had placed them around his desk. Every once in awhile Scully would catch him picking up the picture and looking at it. She kept her focus on the different files in front of her not trying to intrude in his thoughts. After a couple of hours he picked up the phone and called the Bureau's operator, asking for Diana Fowley's office extension. "Diana, this is Fox. How was Jacob last night?" he asked with a voice barely above a whisper. Scully obviously couldn't here her response but by the reaction of Murder's face, she didn't think that Jacob did very well. "I was thinking Diana, is it possible if you bring him over this coming weekend?" he asked then continued, "No Diana, you don't need to be here with Jacob and myself. I want my time with him. You've had him all his young life. What.... What do you mean by that?... Agent Scully.... Yes she'll be with Jacob and me. Is that a problem Diana?" Scully felt uncomfortable listening to Murder's conversation. And without hearing Diana's end of the conversation made it worse. All she could do is imagine was she was saying back to him. She obviously had questioned whether she was going to be there and she obviously suggested of the three of them being together. She felt a twinge of jealousy in her stomach. But felt relaxed when Mulder would have nothing of her plans. "Diana, I'm going to put you on hold for a second, I'll be right back with you," he said and then turned to Scully, "Scully, if we take the assignment in Wyoming, do you think we'd be back by Friday morning?" "I don't know Mulder, it all depends. But if you want, I could stay behind," she suggested. "NO," was his response not realizing the sound of his voice. "No Scully, I want you there with Jacob and me. After all, he needs to see his Mommy Dana" "Well, we could always go home on Friday morning and then go back on Monday," she suggested. He shook his head in agreement and flashed her a big smile. "Diana, Agent Scully and I have an assignment away from here. But we'll be back on Friday afternoon. Can you bring him over around 7:00pm. Thanks, Oh and Diana, could you write down my cell phone and my apartment phone number and give it to Jacob. Does he know how to dial a phone?" he asked, "Can you teach him. Or put it in speed dial for him," he suggested then proceeded to give her his two phone number, "Thanks Diana. Then I'll expect you on Friday." He placed the receiver on the phone and gave a huge smile. They had decided to fly that same evening to Rapid City, South Dakota, stay that evening and then drive to Devil's Tower, Wyoming and investigate some strange sightings at the famous monument. The rest of that day was spent researching the investigation that they were going to conduct, arranging the flight, packing their clothes and reaching the airport. Scully was glad that the day ended hectic, because it gave no time for either of them to think. They had decided to fly to Rapid City, South Dakota, since that was the nearest and biggest town to Devil's Tower. They stayed in adjoining rooms as they always did but spent most of the time in one room, with paperwork all over the bed. "Scully do you know the tale of Devil's Tower?" he asked excitedly. Any other time she'd just roll her eyes and think to herself, , but not this time. She let him talk and let him get the excitement back in his voice. Anything that would keep his mind occupied and not the little boy left behind. "You know that they used the monument as the site for 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' right?" he asked. "So you're telling me that we are going to climb the Tower and find alien spaceships up there. I almost here the music in my head at the end of the movie," Scully joked. "Laugh all you want Scully, maybe we'll find out that the movie was a documentary," he proceeded. "Whatever Mulder..." she answered sitting cross-legged on his bed spreading the pamphlets, brochures and paperwork all over. "There's been several Indian legends that depict the story of Devil's Tower. The one I like is the story according to the Kiowa Indian Tribe. They call the monument Mateo Tepee, meaning Grizzly Bear. Story has it that their tribe once camped in a stream where they were many bears. One day seven little girls were playing at a distance from the village and were chased by some bears. The girls ran toward the village and when the bears were about to catch them, thy jumped to a low rock about three feet in height. One of them prayed to the rock, 'Rock, take pity on us - - Rock, save us,' The rock heard them and began to elongate itself upwards, pushing the children higher and higher out of reach of the bears. When the bears jumped at them they scratched the rock, broke their claws and fell back upon the ground. The rock continued to push the children upward into the sky while the bears jumped at them. The children are still in the sky, seven little stars in a group (the pleiades). According to the legend, the marks of the bears' claws may be seen on the side of the rock," Mulder narrated the story with enthusiasm. "...And we are here to what... find the 7 children?" Scully teased, giving him a hard time. "Very funny, no, we're here to join the spaceship," he taunted back. Just then his cell phone rang. He went to his jacket that was placed over the chair and he pulled out the phone. "Mulder" he acknowledges. "Daddy," a little voice sounded apprehensively. Murder's smile beamed when he heard Jacob, "Son, what a great surprise. Did your mom dial the phone for you?" "She told me whenever I wanted to talk to you to press number 2. That was easy, I'm glad I know my number," he said very proud of himself, "Daddy, is Dana there?" he asked and then Mulder heard a very muzzled voice, "Mommy Dana?" "She's here with me, do you want to talk to her?" he asked "Ah huh" he answered shaking his head thinking that he could be seen acknowledging the question with his head's movement. Mulder handed over the phone to her. "Honey, I'm so happy to hear your voice. Are you being a good boy?" she asked. "Ah huh, mommy says that I can see you and daddy again soon." Yes honey, very soon. Let me give the phone back to your daddy, be good honey," she said. "I will mommy Dana," he responded keeping his voice to a whisper. Mulder and Jacob talked on the phone for about 10 minutes and then completed the call with I love you's on each end of the conversation. He hung up the phone and started picking up all the paperwork on the bed. "Scully, we should get to bed, we have a long day ahead of us and I want to finish as soon as we could." They were called in this case because of the sacred overtones that the monument had, but in reality it was about some missing hikers climbing the tower late at night. They were probably stuck somewhere in the path and lost their way back to camp. That's what Mulder hoped for anyway, he wasn't in any mood for any aliens, or ghost busting, just wanted to get back to see Jacob. Scully went back to her own room but before going to bed, retrieved some maps of the area, mostly the southern part of South Dakota. She had an idea and was hoping that she would get the opportunity to fulfill it. She got ready for bed and within minutes was dreaming. The drive to the Tower was about a 1-1/2 hour away. They went to the Forest Ranger station and took as much information as they could. They joined the other police officers and government agents and walked up the Tower's path. "Scully all this is sacred ground," Mulder said, "reminds me of Star." "I thought it would Mulder. I was thinking of the same thing." Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday were filled with searching through caves, bushes and trying to find any clue of the missing hikers. By 10:00 a.m. on Thursday morning, they had stumbled on the lost backpack from one of the missing hikers. After a wide sweep, they came across the two hikers very dehydrated, and very tired. They were both happy that the outcome was a good one and Mulder was very anxious to head on home. They got back in the rental car, Scully taking the wheel and started the drive back to Rapid City. "Mulder we're about 20 minutes away, why don't you take a nap," she suggested trying to put her plan in action. "I guess the hike tired me out. Sounds like a good idea, besides we're almost there," he replied reclining the seat back and trying to move to his left side making himself as comfortable as he could with the restraint of the seatbelt. Scully glanced at him and proceeded with her plan. She just hoped that he would sleep longer then the 20 minutes. The final destination was approximately 135 miles away, that would be around a 2-1/2 hour drive she smiled at her thought. She took most of the back roads and was amazed at how scarce traffic was. A car would pass every once in awhile as she continued on. She was making record time driving past the 75 miles an hour speed limit. she smiled again. It didn't seem that she had driven as far as she did when she came about the green sign, the marker that Mulder had told her about. She followed the signs and came across the small street. As she looked to the right, she saw the two stands and on the left the other stand with young people selling their wares. she continued her speculation. She pulled the car to the side of the road to the makeshift parking lot, tapping Mulder by the arm. "Mulder we're here," she softly said. He straightened his long lean body stretching his arms up as high as the car confinement would allow. "Scully, I feel like I slept for hours, are we in Rapid City?" he asked trying to focus his eyes. She grinned and replied, "Yea, we're at the motel." He looked out the front window confused at the scenery and quickly turned his head towards Scully. "Scully... we're at" he said quickly feeling his heart palpitate a little faster. "I hope you're not angry. I wanted to surprise you. Mulder it's exactly as you explained it," she told opening her car door and stretching her body as well. He hesitated at first but then opened his door as well. Scully looked up and noticed the cross on top of the incline. "Is that the cemetery?" she softly asked pointing to the cross. "That's not where Star is buried. That's the community grave where the Indians from the massacre were buried. Do you want to go up and see it?" he asked. She shook her head and they both headed towards the top. Everything was the same, the weeds, the small flowers scattered and the ribbons tied delicately between the wired fence. She wished she could read his mind as he held on to the fence and stared at the gravesite. They were there for a few minutes and then headed down the path. She walked in front of him walking over to the stand and was aback at the beauty of the dream catchers that were being made by the young people behind the stand. She tried to see in her mind the beauty of Star and young Fox talking flirtatiously so many years before. She bought a couple of dream catchers as he stayed back leaning against the car. They got back in the car and turned right up the main road of the little town of Wounded Knee. The houses were scattered and children playing with their dogs. Mulder quietly stared at the houses when they came across the white house on the right. "Scully, White Feathers lived there and right behind her house, is where Star and her family lived," he muttered. She stopped the car and he turned to look at her with a frightened look. "What are you doing?" "Mulder wouldn't you want to see if they still live there?" she replied placing her hand on his arm. "I'm sure they still do, nothing changes here," he responded. "Then why don't you go see," she coaxed. He rolled his head gently to the right and then to the left trying to stretch the tight muscles on his neck. He was biting his lower lip and took a very deep sigh. He took hold of the car handle and hesitated until she heard the click of the handle. He turned his head towards Scully with a plea for her to follow. After all these years working together, they had this unspoken psychic power of being able to know what the other one thought. They knew their every movement, but this time she was not going to be by his side. He needed to be alone on this one. She shook her head no and he started walking up the path to the house. He first went to White Feathers house pausing before he raised his hand to a knock. She could see from the side window a pretty pregnant woman opening the door. She looked probably in her early to middle 30's and then she saw them embrace. The embraced was intense and long. She could see them talking, their hands clutched to one another. She took him by the hand and started walking together up the hill to the other house, Star's house. She got out of the car to feel the soothing heat of the sun and leaned up against the car. He looked a little hesitant as the Indian girl pulled him up the driveway. The door opened and an elderly woman was standing there. She could see from the distance as the woman quickly placed her hand over her mouth before she went towards Mulder and started hugging him. She wouldn't let him go. This little woman that barely reached his shoulder had such a tight grip on him. She then saw an elderly man at the door, which must have been Star's father. He wasn't as quick to react as the older woman was but after a couple of sentences, with Murder's initiation the elderly man embraced him. They motioned to the inside of the house, which she took it as an invitation to visit. She could see Mulder say something to him and then turn around and point to Scully. A child that looked like 10 years old was by their side. The older man said something to the girl as she turned and started running towards the car. "Fox wishes you to join him," is all the girl said as she took a hold of her hand and walked her up the path. Scully nervously followed the girl feeling an intrusion in her part. This was not her place to be, but Murder's past that she wanted him to relive and store it in his heart as a good memory. She approached the house and was surprised by the instance embrace of White Feathers and then Star's parents. "This is my partner Agent Dana Scully, and my very best friend" he announced with a face that beamed his smile. They stayed there for 30 minutes and then decided to part. Star's mother went to her bedroom and came back with the wedding headdress that Star had worn on the day of her wedding to Mulder. She also had a plaque that had some form of writing on it that Scully couldn't see. His eyes welled as he took the headdress and the plaque but would not allow him to shed the tears. They all embraced and headed back to the car. "Scully, can you drive up the road until it ends, please," he choked. She did as he said and came upon the town's cemetery. They both got out of the car, as Scully took the plaque that was left on the backseat. They walked through the assorted gravesites and monuments with Indian names engraved on each stone. In front of them were the most beautiful arrangements of flowers that adorned the grave. She quickly remembered the picture in his album that read 'In memory of my beautiful wife, my Shining Star'. The lump on her throat was getting painful as she watched him stare at the gravesite kneeling with his head bowed. "Mulder, do you want me to read what the plaque says?" she asked but did not receive an acknowledgement. She picked up the plaque and read. AN INDIAN PRAYER O'GREAT SPIRIT, Whose voice I hear in the winds, And whose breath gives life to all the world, Hear me! I am small and weak, I need your Straight and wisdom. Let Me Walk In Beauty, and make my eyes Ever behold the red and purple sunset. Make My Hands respect the things you have Made and my ears sharp to hear your voice. Make Me Wise so that I may understand the Things you have taught my people. Let Me Learn the lessons you have hidden In every leaf and rock. I Seek Strength, not to be greater than my Brother, but to fight my greatest Enemy -myself. Make Me Always Ready to come to you with Clean hands and straight eyes. So When Life Fades, as the fading sunset, My spirit may come to you Without shame. 70 1 Sins of Our Past - 6/8 CorrineLS@earthlink.net (Lakota) "Mulder this is a beautiful poem. It was a gift from the Sioux Indian children of the Red Cloud Indian School in Pine Ridge," she said. She knelt next to him and took him in his arms, as he leaned back resting himself on the back part of his heels. He didn't say anything, just kept on staring at the epitaph. "Mulder are you upset with me that I brought you here," she asked. "No, No this has been the most wonderful thing you have done for me. I will always hold this day in my heart Scully. Remember the day I told you, you were my one in 5 billion," he started to say and they both hugged. Mulder took the wheel back to Rapid City so Scully could rest since he had taken quite a long nap. His life was starting to be okay, he thought with a smile, looking over at Scully fast asleep. They reached the motel and went to their separate rooms. Mulder had left the adjoining room slightly open, as did Scully. She was starting to pack her clothes when she decided to go check on him. Something was definitely wrong when he didn't have the television on. She went to the door and tapped on it, until he acknowledged the knock. She went in his room to find him sitting on the bed in the dark holding the wedding headdress that Star's mom had given him. "Mulder are you alright?" she asked him walking towards the bed, sitting close to him. "Scully what would I do without you?" he asked in a hushed voice. "What do you mean?" "You have given me everything and I've given you nothing. Nothing but heart aches. You've stayed with me through all the uncertainties, these crazy x-file assignments. Because of me you've almost died, you were abducted; you had cancer, you... you can no longer have children... Scully it hurt me to see you with Jacob, how loving and caring you were to him, and knowing that because of me and that chip, you won't be able to have children. And the child that was given to you was taken away. But yet you stay with me all these years, you try to see my views, you comfort me, you hurt for me. I wasn't sure how you would react towards Jacob, which was a silly thought, how else would you react, but loving. And what you did today, taking me to see Star's family and..." he whispered. "Mulder, don't say anymore, because I feel we've been there for each other ten fold, it has never been one sided. To see you today was worth everything. I wanted to give you that surprise, and I'm glad that you didn't get upset." She replied. He placed the headdress on the bed and stood up. He took her hand and had her stand up pulling her towards him. Their eyes met and both felt the pang in their stomach. She pulled him towards her and they both held each other. "Scully, we've been in this position before?" he muttered in her ear. He separated long enough to hold up her chin with his hand and gave her a kiss, a light kiss, the kiss that was meant be happen in the hallway. "My intentions were never to alienate you Scully, I've just lost so much, and so many people I've loved, I don't want to loose you." He whispered. "You won't Mulder, you won't." she answered bringing his head down and kissing him on the forehead. She loosened the embrace and walked back to her room. They arrived D.C. around 4:00 P.M., Friday afternoon, both going to their separate apartments so that they would get ready for the arrival of Jacob. Mulder went to the answering machine and noticed a couple of messages were left. He listened to all of them, none important until he came to Diana's message. "Fox something came up and I'm not going to be able to take Jacob tonight, sorry," is all she said. No explanation in the message, only that he wasn't going to see Jacob that weekend. Mulder was livid; she was not going to start with these games. This is all that he waited for all week, waiting for Friday to see his son again and already she was going to play these games. Scully unpacked and was taking a shower when her telephone rang. She wrapped a towel around her and went to the phone to answer it. "Hello" she said, "WHAT!" she didn't realize the sound of her voice? "Mulder, did she say why she wasn't bringing him over. Have you called her and asked her?" She darted question after question. "Look maybe he's not feeling well or something. Why don't you call him first before you jump to conclusions? I'll hurry up and be there in about 45 minutes, okay, are you going to be alright?" Scully hung up the phone also enraged at the change in heart. She felt that Diana might be playing games with him. Did she change her mind taking the boy because she knew she was going to be there? She quickly finished her shower and got dressed. She called the guys to see if there was any new news from them. She had not been able to call them for the week and she was hoping that there were able to get some kind of information on her. "Langley, it's Scully," she said, "Any news?" "Nothing really about the assignment they were on, but we did locate Joseph Miller. He is now working at the field office in Sacramento, California. We were able to get his home number," he stated. "Did you call him?" she asked getting a pad of paper and pencil. "No, we thought that would be something you would want to do. Here's his home phone number." Scully paced her bedroom with the notepad on her hand debating whether she should call him. She sat on her bed and turned her face to her nightstand where she had a picture of Mulder and Jacob during their baseball antics at the park. She didn't take but a second to decide after looking at the smiles on their faces. She picked up the phone, put the receiver down and picked it up again until she finally mustered her nerve to call. With the three-hour difference between D.C. and California, it should be 2:00 in the afternoon, she wasn't sure if he would be there at that time. She needed to reach him, whether at home or work. The call was finally made, answered by a nice sounding female. "Yes, hello this is Special Agent Dana Scully from D.C., is Special Agent Joseph Miller home?" she asked hoping that the sound of authority might help her get her foot in the door, "He's still at the office? "Is it possible to get his office number. I have a couple of questions from an old assignment that he and my partner were on? Thank you ma'am," she stated as she wrote down the number and hung up the receiver taking a big sigh. Fingers shaking, she was able to dial the Bureau's number, half -wishing he wasn't in the office, half wishing that she could find out what really happened. "Hello, this is Agent Miller," was the salutation. "Agent Joseph Miller?" Scully asked nervously. "Yes, who may I ask is calling?" "This is Special Agent Dana Scully, I work in the D.C. office. I apologize for the call but I was given your name as a source that might be a help for me to answer some questions, unresolved questions," she chose her words carefully. "Unresolved? Sounds ominous. Ask away, I'll do my best to answer," he replied. "Agent Miller, before I start, let me tell you that for the last six years I have been partners with Special Agent Fox Mulder. We work with the X-Files. Does the name or the program ring a bell?" she asked. "Wow, Fox Mulder, definitely a name from the past. How is Fox?" he asked straightening up on his chair. "He's doing very well, as well as to be expected. Agent Miller, I'm calling you without the knowledge of my partner. He has no idea that I even know who you are. Right now I am very concerned about him and I'm trying to do my best to find out anything that might help him with what is happening to him in his life at this moment." She tried to articulate, but only ended sounding confused. "Go on..." he said. "Back in 92, Mulder was partnered with Diana Fowley, the same year that Mulder's wife was killed. In fact, his wife was killed in an accident relating to a stakeout that was happening in an unknown warehouse. From records that I came in contact with, it shows that there were four principal agents, Mulder, Fowley, you and your partner Gary Lane," she informed. "Is the Bit." he started to say then held back. "What is it that you want to know?" "If you have time, can you tell me how it was back then. I'd like to know how the interaction was between Mulder and Diana, also between Diana and both you and your partner. What happened on that stakeout, everything that you can remember," she urged. "I was already finishing my day and ready to head on home, but definitely I can tell you all I know. Let me see where do I start. Gary and I were fortunate enough to become good friends with Fox and Diana. A lot of the agents thought Fox was a little on the, shall we say 'spooky' side, but I had nothing but admiration for the guy. He was very good at his job and the important thing was that he was able to capture a lot of the criminals that were out there. We were hooked up with them during the 'Stimpson Serial Killer' crime spree. Fox and Diana were perfect as partners and between the four of us we were getting closer in capturing the guy" Miller narrated. "Did you notice any kind of involvement with Diana and Mulder or Diana and your partner?" she asked. "Diana and Mulder, heavens no. Mulder was very much in love with his work but mostly was very much in love with his wife. I was in awe of him, because when he was at work, his mind would only be focused in work, but in his down times or out of work, he lived only for his wife. In fact, Diana was very supportive of her partners' life with his wife. At that time I liked Diana and actually wanted her to start seeing Gary. I was dating my wife at the time, and Gary seemed to be alone, so I wanted them to get together," he continued. "Did they get together," Scully asked impatiently. "Sort of... I think Gary was getting more involved than Diana was, but they seemed to enjoy each other's company. During the times they weren't working, they were together. In fact, for a moment there I thought they were going to be an item." "Did Mulder know of the relationship between Diana and Gary?" she asked. "No, I don't think so. I think Diana and Gary kept their relationship pretty quiet. And besides, if Fox wasn't talking about work he was talking about his wife." "So you didn't notice any, how shall I say, extra feelings for Mulder from Diana?" "You mean falling for her partner?" he bluntly said. "Well, I guess that's what I really wanted to ask," she said. "At first I didn't think so, after all, I wanted Diana to be with Gary. But then later I started noticing more insinuations, more innuendoes with Fox. He just took the comments in stride. The relationship between the four of us was fine, but then it took a different turn when Fox started mentioning that his wife was talking about having children," he said with a wondered tone. "I don't understand, why would that change the relationship?" she curiously asked. "Diana seemed more at edge, she started being short with Gary. I just thought that maybe they were having a lover's quarrel, but it all seemed to stem at the mention of Fox and his wife starting a family. I didn't see what the connection was, only that maybe because Diana was such a hard worker, that maybe with a family it would take Fox further away form his work with the X-Files. Either way, the relationship between Gary and Diana seemed to take a halt at that time. Agent Scully, you're initial question was if I remembered anything from the day of the stakeout. There are still moments from that day that puzzle me. Gary and I were on our way home and decided to go to Fox and Diana's office to see if they needed anything from us before we left. Diana seemed quiet; as a matter of fact she seemed almost angry. Fox seemed happier than usual. He told us that we should take it easy the rest of the day, because he had every intention on having a very romantic night with his wife. He had made an important decision and he was going to tell her that day," he continued narrating. "Did he tell you what it was?" she asked. "No, he didn't. Anyway, the phone rang and he answered the call. His expression changed and started writing the information on his notepad on his desk. He hung up and said that they had Stimpson cornered in the warehouse. He was upset that he had to cancel the dinner with his wife but hopefully we would capture the guy and then we wouldn't have to worry about Stimpson anymore. He said he had to pickup some other agents as soon as possible and he didn't have time to call his wife. Diana, if I remember right told him to go ahead and that she would call his wife to cancel, then she would meet him there at the warehouse," he continued sounding more unsure of what happened that day. "Do you remember her making the call?" "Everything became hectic, I wondered if she was going to call, but we got busy. Gary and I started for the door and Diana did pickup the phone and said she would meet us there right after the call she had to make." "Did you hear her call Star?" Scully kept with her questions. "Let me think," he said as there was silence for a couple of minutes and then continued. "I remember Diana going to Fox's desk to use his phone to call his wife. Yes, I remember, she did call and she did tell Star of the cancelled dinner plans, but there's something else, something that I just can't remember about the note on the desk." More silence as Joseph was trying desperately to remember the events that had happened so many years before. "Oh my gosh, Agent Scully, I think I know what happened. It never even dawned on me until right now." "What is it," Scully asked anxiously. "Gary asked Diana the location of the address. She was still on the phone. I remember she cradled the receiver under her chin to pickup the note and she read the name of the warehouse and the street location. But she told Gary; she didn't say anything to Fox's wife. My God, do you think that Star heard her and misunderstood? Do you think that all she heard was that dinner was cancelled and then heard Diana say the location of the warehouse to Gary and she took it as where she was to meet Fox." "This would explain the reason she was at the stakeout." Scully replied. Agent Scully, when we saw Star in the middle of the gunfight, we had absolutely no idea how she got there. Later, all Fox would say is that his wife must have not understood Diana and shown up at his office. She must have seen the note with the warehouse address and thought that she was to meet him there," he said saddened. "As much as I disliked Diana for what she did to Gary, I think that she told Star the location of the stakeout without even realizing." "So no one ever questioned why Star would have been there?" she prodded. "No, because Fox was positive that she must have misunderstood. Diana probably didn't have a clue what she had done. I guess Fox felt that there was no one to blame; he did that very well for himself. After the death of his wife, Fox was very distraught, as you can well imagine. Diana was there for him and suggested that he take some time off, which he did. She held the X-Files together on her own for the 3 weeks that he was away. He came back in better spirits and ready to devote his life to his work. After all, he didn't have anything else going for him." He explained. "How was Mulder's and Diana's personal relationship at this time?" "Same, at least I think it was the same. She was there for him, but then as the months past, I noticed a little more interactions between them. Then all of a sudden I had heard that they had moved in together. I was still hoping that Gary and she would get together, especially since I saw how in love Gary was with her and how saddened he was to hear the news. Gary later told me that it was merely a roommate arrangement, at least that's what Diana told him. Especially since they were so involved in their work, they had the extra time to do that extra investigating at their home. Okay, I didn't believe that, but Gary did. Fox and Diana lived together for sometime and then events turned again. Gary and Diana started seeing each other again. I then started believing that it was true, about the roommate arrangements. Why would Diana see Gary and live with Fox. By this time Gary was in love with Diana. I know they were together romantically, you know how us men talk. Well he did plenty of talking. Then everything fell apart on September 30th. My partner was killed in that automobile accident. We first thought that it might be a setup from Stimpson. He was in jail and we thought that maybe he had someone in the outside make it look like an accident, but it wasn't. It really was an accident. I took it very hard, as you can very well imagine. I had enough of D.C., and chose to move to California. Within a couple of weeks I heard that Diana had left to Europe. I had no idea that Fox and Diana were actually * living * together." He finished saying. "But in the beginning of our conversation, you were about to call Diana a bitch" she said. "Oh, you caught that. I think I still hold her responsible for the ups and downs that Gary had. He did love her very much and after all, he was my partner, and I only wanted the best for him. As I see that you only want the best for your partner. There must be something going on for you to call me and ask me all these questions. Now that I explained everything, would you mind telling me why it is that you are asking?" "I would say it's confidential, but since you were so kind in telling me all this, I can tell you that after 6 years of being away, Diana has popped back in D.C., but not alone, with a child she claims is Mulder's son. It's not that I don't want this to be true, I just don't want my partner to be hurt. He has fallen in love with the child and if Diana is lying to him, it could devastate him. Call it women's intuition, but I feel something's not quite right with what happened on the day Star died. I don't know, I just think there's more that someone is not saying. By the way, could I ask you one more question?" she asked. "Sure, what's the question?" he responded. "Did Agent Lane and Mulder resemble each other?" she asked curiously. Miller's loud laugh was deep that made Scully pull the phone away for a second, "The likeness was uncanny. I would sometimes tease him, telling him that they were either long lost brothers and separated at birth or that they were related in some form in their past lives. Why do you ask?" "Because the child looks a lot like Mulder, at least his features, but I also heard the same thing about Agent Lane. He had the same features." She replied. "Oh my God, do you think this child could have been Gary's?" he asked immediately. "I don't know. Obviously she was seeing Gary and living with Mulder. I am in the process of doing some blood sample tests that by the way Mulder does not know I'm doing. If you like, I will let you know of my findings." She said starting to finish the conversation. "Yes please, I need to know if the child was Gary's." "Thank you very much and I'll keep in touch." She said signing off. "It was my pleasure. Please do let me know the outcome of this." He said and hung up the phone. Scully pressed end on her cell phone and sat there for awhile, trying to sink all this newfound information. She could either wait until the blood test came back, proving that Jacob was not Mulder's, or confront Diana herself. Actually, this child could be Mulder's, since she was obviously playing them both for a fool. she thought bitterly. She needed to see Mulder and she needed to see Jacob. This wasn't fair that she change her mind on the day Jacob was suppose to visit them, was she starting to play her games with Mulder, or did she change her mind because Mulder told her that he didn't want Diana there. She paced back and forth in her bedroom until she made the decision to go to Diana's and see where the conversation took her. Maybe she'd feel the conversation first, or maybe she'll just ask to see if she could take the boy to Mulder's. She finished getting ready and headed out the door. She had called the Long Gunmen for Diana's address, since they had their ways and then proceeded to tell them the conversation she had with Agent Miller. She nervously knocked on the door and waited for the inevitable. Diana opened the door and was thrown off guard to see Scully standing at her doorstep. "How did you find out where I lived," was the first thing that came out of Diana's mouth. "Same way you found out where Mulder lived, FBI database," she answered without hesitation, "Can I come in?" Diana opened the door and stepped aside. Scully quickly did a look over of the place and noticed the door on the hallway slightly ajar and saw Jacob peeking out. She quickly smiled at him and cautiously wiggled her fingers in a hello gesture. She didn't want him to get in trouble, but at the site of Scully, the door flung open and the little boy ran towards her, arms outstretched. "Dana are you coming to pick me up?" he asked excitedly. Scully bent down taking in the hug and noticed his little eyes red and swollen from what appeared a long hard cry. "No honey, I came to talk to your mommy. If she wants me to take you later on I surely will," she responded giving him a kiss on the cheek and looking up at Diana. "I told you Jacob that you were being punished and you were not going to go to your dads," she said sternly. "But mommy I'm sorry, I told you I would take a nap. I want to see daddy," he said sniveling, "Dana I told mommy I would take a nap. I can't see daddy because I wasn't sleepy." "You are not letting Mulder and Jacob see each other because he wouldn't take a nap?" she questioned harshly. "...Not taking him to see Mulder, was it to punish Jacob, or to punish Mulder?" "Jacob go to your room, Dana and I have to talk," she demanded pointing to his bedroom. Jacob started crying louder and went to his bedroom still leaving the door opened. "Did you come to pick Jacob up, because if you did, you're wasting your time," she started to say. "No, that's not the reason at all, but if after we talk you choose to let me take him, then that's up to you." "What do you have to say that would make me change my mind?" Diana said offering her to sit on the couch. "I had a very interesting conversation today with someone that you might know. I was intending to make this phone call for some time now, but I got this extra incentive to follow through, when I got Mulder's call stating that he was not going to be able to see Jacob," Scully said in a snide remark. "Who might that be?" she asked in a cutting tone. "I spoke for a long time to Agent Joseph Miller, do you remember him. I mean you should, since you and Mulder worked hand in hand with Agent Miller and his partner, the late Agent Gary Lane." Scully started to say keeping an eye on her waiting for her expression to change. ...And she got what she wanted as Diana started coughing nervously getting up off the couch, "Would you like some water?" "No thank you, but you might need some." Scully kept pressing. Diana went to get a glass of water and came back. "According to Agent Miller, you were a great agent who worked very well with Mulder. He had nothing bad to say regarding your work ethics. He said you were very supportive of Mulder regarding his work and his marriage. Although he was a bit confused at how you changed when Star began to talk about having a child. He said that Agent Lane and you were an 'item' as he puts it. He said that your relationship with Lane was a quiet, private one that even Mulder wasn't aware of. He also told me an interesting story about the day of the stakeout; you know when Star showed up unexpectedly. Do you remember that particular day," Scully jabbed. "What the hell are you talking about. I won't have you throw insults to me in my own home!" Diana started shouting. "I'm not throwing insults, I'm merely stating what Agent Miller said. I told you how you were highly regarded by him," Scully continued. "Then what are you trying to insinuate?" she shouted defensively. "Diana, Agent Miller told me that you and Agent Lane were seeing each other. He also told me that the relationship cooled off after sometime. He mentioned that after Star died, you were there for Mulder to console him, to help him during that horrible period in his life. He also mentioned that you moved in with him, but that Agent Lane said that it was merely 'roommate' status, there wasn't a relationship happening, although, Mulder seemed to think differently. He told me that you two were together. And you know what else Agent Miller said, that you were with Agent Lane a month before you left Mulder. So, Diana what was it. Were you having your jollies with both of them?" she insulted. Diana stood up enraged and slapped Scully across the face. "Mommy, mommy why did you hit Dana?" Jacob sobbed running to Scully. Scully hugged the boy, placing her hands over his ears and whispering to Diana. "Who is the father Diana?" "Get out, get out of my house right now!" she hollered. "Stop it mommy, stop yelling at Dana. I hate you mommy, I want to see my daddy," the boy cried. "I think you better do some serious thinking and get your story straight. As for Jacob, I am taking him over to Mulder's for the weekend. You can pick him up on Sunday at 9:00 p.m. like last time." Scully softened as she turned toward the young boy next to her. "Jacob, go get some clothes ready, can you do that for me. Don't forget your toothbrush and your Batman toothpaste. Get your pajamas and extra clothes. I'm taking you to see your daddy. Your mommy just has had a rough day. She told me it was okay for you to come with me, isn't it Diana?" Diana stared at Scully coldly, her arms folded across her chest. "Another thing Diana, I think you better remember very carefully what exactly happened on that particular day in the warehouse. It just doesn't make sense how Star ended up at the stakeout. I think it's time Mulder stops feeling guilty, don't you think?" Jacob ran to his bedroom and started throwing everything in his bag. He jammed undergarments, t-shirts, shorts, pajamas, and every item his little hands could get a hold on. He ran to the bathroom to get his toothbrush and toothpaste, shoving them into his bag. He had enough clothes and supplies to last him a week as he ran out to Scully. After he gave her the bag, he remembered something he had forgotten to pack. He ran back to his bedroom and grabbed his Peter Pan book. "I'm ready Dana," he said eyes still swollen but a smile that beamed from ear to ear. "Say bye to your mommy," Scully said. Jacob went up to Diana and pulled at her pant legs for her to bend down. "Thank you mommy, I love you," his little voice quivered. 70 9 Sins of Our Past - 7/8 CorrineLS@earthlink.net (Lakota) "Diana, when you come to pick up Jacob on Sunday, I hope you don't decide to do anything rash, like feel that you have to disappear again with Jacob. Because if you do decide, you will be found, * by me *" she said angrily. The two walked hand in hand out of the apartment and drove towards Mulder's home. "Mommy Dana thank you for coming to pick me up. I didn't want to go to sleep and mommy said if I didn't I wouldn't see daddy and I tried to go to sleep but I couldn't go to sleep," Jacob said without taking a breath. "That's okay Jacob, we're going to daddy's now. You know what? He doesn't know you're with me so we'll surprise him," she said, smiling and holding his hand in the car. "Let me call and tell him I'm going to his place. You have to be very quiet so he won't know you're with me okay," she told. He smiled and put his finger up to his mouth in a secret gesture. "Mulder, it's Scully, what are you doing?" she asked, smiling at Jacob. "Nothing, I'm not doing a damn thing. Scully what am I going to do? I want to see Jacob and I'm afraid Diana's not going to let me see him anymore," he said anxiously. "She can't do that. Look, I'm about 5 minutes away from your place. I'm coming over, is that okay?" she asked. "That's fine, I have nothing to do?" he responded sadly. They hung up the phone and Scully turned to look at Jacob. "Jacob we are really going to surprise him. He's very sad right now, he thinks he's not going to see you." They drove to the apartment and parked the car in the usual place where Scully always parks. She grabbed the backpack, "Jacob, just what exactly did you pack, this bag is heavy," she teased. "Lots of clothes, Batman things and my book, my book Mommy Dana, it's in the car," he shouted. She went back for it and they proceeded to go to the apartment complex, riding the elevator to the fourth floor. "I'll knock and I'll hide around the corner," Scully planned. Jacob excitedly shook his head while Scully rapped on the apartment door. "Scully, you have the key," Scully heard him shout. "Darn, let me knock again," she told Jacob. She knocked and ran around the corner. Mulder got off of the couch and dragged himself to the door. He opened it and the smile on both of their faces explained their mischief. "Surprise Daddy!" Jacob shouted and stretched his little arms out. "Jacob" he said out loud as he looked to the side and saw Scully standing there with the same smile. "Surprise partner" she whispered. Mulder picked Jacob up, his face being smothered with kisses as he did so. The three walked in the apartment, Mulder holding Jacob and Scully holding the overly stuffed backpack filled with weeks of clothing that Jacob had shoved in. "I don't understand Scully. You knew where she lived, she let you bring him, she spoke to you?" Mulder kept on asking question after question. "Hey, I've got clout" she laughed. "Jacob, why didn't your mom let you come over today, were you a bad boy?" Mulder asked as he sat him on the couch. Jacob looked saddened and shook his head up and down. "Yea Mulder, you ask him just what he did wrong?" Scully said sarcastically. Jacob bowed his head and said in a whisper. "Mommy wanted me to take a nap, and daddy I wasn't sleepy. I tried and I tried. Then she said I couldn't see you because I didn't take a nap and I tried hard, daddy but my eyes wouldn't close so I had to have time out." "Time out?" Mulder questioned. "Yea, that's the new generations way of saying 'go to your room'" Scully commented. "Your mom wouldn't let you come see me because you wouldn't take a nap?" he said angrily. "Daddy, I try taking nap here if you want. I promise to go to sleep" he started saying nervously. "Jacob, you don't have to go to sleep, don't worry, you won't have time out," Mulder said, his heart hurting listening to the pain in his sons voice. "Daddy you know what...?" he started saying as he grabbed Mulder's shirt and pulled him down trying to tell him a secret. "Jacob, why don't I take your bag in the room and try to see what you brought. Mulder is it okay if I place his clothes in the bottom drawer of your dresser. I'll move your clothes to another drawer. That way he could get his clothes when need be?" she asked picking up the bag filled with clothes. "Sure, no problem, that's a good idea" he answered looking puzzled at Jacobs insistence trying to tell him a secret. Jacob cupped his hands on each side of his mouth so that no one would hear what he was about to say. "Daddy, mommy hit Dana" he said in a very soft whisper. "WHAT!" he picked up his head immediately. "Why?" "Shhh daddy, it was a secret. When mommy Dana came to get me, I went to my room and I was peeking to see them. I couldn't hear them but mommy started yelling at Dana and then mommy hit her, then Dana said never, never, never take me away from you and if mommy takes me away, that mommy Dana would find her and me," he rambled. Even with the anger that Mulder had, it didn't stop the smirk that he had from what Jacob had just said, he thought, then said, "Your Mommy Dana takes good care of me. Jacob, here's the remote control, if you want to find the cartoon channel, press this button, I'm going to talk to her" He gave the remote control to Jacob and headed for the bedroom. Scully was sitting on the bed, folding all the T-shirts, shorts and underwear that was stuffed in the bag. "Scully, was it a left hook or a right?" he asked standing by the frame board of the bedroom door. "What does that mean?" she asked, confused. "You said it yourself, 'out of the mouth of babes'. Scully, what's going on?" he asked. "Don't worry Mulder, Jacob is here with you and that's all that matters. ... Oh look who's here?" she told him feeling relieved as she saw Jacob's little face squeeze between the doorframe and Mulder. "Jacob, I emptied the bottom drawer so I can put all your clothes there. You can either leave clothes here or we'll buy you some more so that way you won't have to bring your back pack to and from your mom's every time. Does that sound like a plan?" Scully asked the boy changing the subject and hoping Mulder wouldn't pursue the questioning. "Why don't you help me with your clothes." Jacob came running to the bed picking each stack of clothes and placing them in the bottom drawer. "You might have won this one, but we've got all weekend." Mulder said under his breath. "What weekend. I'm going home. You don't need me Mulder. Both of you should be together and you don't need any help from me. You're a natural," she insisted. "I know I can handle it Scully, that's not the only reason I want you to say. Besides, you don't want to make Jacob sad, do you?" he responded, "Two can play the game" he mumbled to her as he walked out of the bedroom. "Mommy Dana, I don't want you to go," he told placing the last bit of clothes in the drawer. "Okay both of you win. Jacob, honey I have to make an important phone call, do you think you can go with your daddy for awhile?" she suggested to the boy. He shook his head and skipped out of the bedroom, jumping on the couch with Mulder. Scully took out her cell phone from her jacket pocket and dialed the number to Frohike's home. Jacob went back to the couch and sat next to Mulder taking the remote control from him and changing the channels. "Mommy Dana is on the phone, she wanted me to come here," he said nonchalantly. "Umm really, wonder who she's calling?" he said more to himself than Jacob and got up walking toward the bedroom, but halted quickly when he heard Scully's words. "I had a long talk with Agent Joseph Miller regarding Diana and Agent Gary Lane." Mulder's blood seemed to have drained from his face when he heard the names from his past. He knew he shouldn't eaves drop but something was happening and he had to know. All he could hear was the one sided conversation. In fact, he didn't know whom she was talking to. Maybe she'll announce the name in the conversation. "He talked about the four of them working together in the Stimpson Serial Killing case. He explained the friendship that the four of them had, and especially the closeness between Lane and Diana," she told. Mulder's eyes widened as the last words of the sentence sunk in. "It seems that Diana and Agent Lane had an on and off relationship during the time that Mulder was married to Star. Agent Miller had very high respects and admiration for both Diana and Mulder and said they were very professional in their work. He wanted Lane to pair off with Diana since Gary was alone and so was Diana. He mentioned that Mulder was very much in love with Star and if it wasn't work it was Star. There are two things that bother me very much Frohike. One; the way Star died. Why was she at the warehouse? Miller seemed to remember something that happened that might bring light to the reason she was there. The second thing that bothers me is the affair she had with Lane." She continued. Mulder leaned against the wall and started slipping down to the floor into a sitting position. His past flashed before his eyes. Star, Diana, those that he held dear to him. He placed his hands over his face, debating whether he should continue listening or go back to Jacob. He didn't want to hear anymore, but he had to, he had to know. Scully continued, "From what Miller told me, after Star died, Diana worked on the cases while Mulder took some time off. When Mulder came back they put their lives in the files. Then some time later Diana moved in with Mulder. Here is where there are two conflicting stories. Mulder told me that Diana and Mulder were living together as a couple. Yet Miller tells me that Lane had told him that Mulder and Diana were merely roommates. Because their whole life was the X-Files, they could work 24/7 if need be and also help each other financially. After a few months, Diana started seeing Lane again. Miller said that they were seeing each other, and you know Frohike how men like to boast, they were sleeping together. Then the unfortunate happened, Lane was killed, like you said, in an automobile accident. About 3 weeks later, Diana disappears. So Frohike, Diana was living with Mulder and having an affair with Lane. Miller also told me about the likeness between Mulder and Lane. 'Uncanny' he said, just like you said when you saw his picture. So Frohike, we're back to square one. Jacob could be either Lane's or Mulder's, since she was doing it with both. And as for Star's death, he thinks that Diana, when making the phone call to cancel the dinner; she inadvertently mentioned the warehouse and the address. I believe Miller said that she was talking to Lane but still had the phone where Star could hear." Mulder jumped from the floor and ran to the hall bathroom. He placed his hand over his mouth, trying desperately to hold in his day's meal. The whole time that Mulder was sitting on the floor near the bedroom, Jacob was involved watching his cartoon. Not until he heard Mulder run to the bathroom did he notice something wrong? "Daddy are you okay, daddy what's the matter?" Jacob shouted, jumping off the couch and running towards Mulder. Seeing the bathroom door close behind him, Jacob ran to retrieve Scully instead, "Mommy Dana, come quick, daddy is sick. He's in the bathroom." "Forhike, got to go, I'll call you back," she said quickly, pressing 'end' on the cell phone, dropping it on the bed and running to meet Jacob. "Honey what's the matter, was daddy with you when he got sick?" she asked urgently. "No, I was watching cartoons. I don't know where daddy was. I just heard him running to the bathroom," the little boy told. Scully oblivious to what might have happened to Mulder went to the bathroom and knocked. Nothing, she decided to open the door. The door wasn't locked as she turned the knob and opened the door. Mulder was kneeling and bending over the toilet, retching his day's meal. "Mulder, are you sick? What's wrong," she said worried, going towards him and trying to hold his shaking body. All he could do was wave his arm, motioning her to go away. Jacob pushed himself in front of Scully, putting his arms around his dad. "I give you some medicine, daddy. Don't be sick daddy" he said anxiously. Scully grabbed a wet washcloth and started wiping Mulder's forehead. He took the washcloth and wiped his mouth, looked up at her and said in a cutting voice, "When did you talk to Miller?" "Miller?" she said stunned. "You heard me?" she said softly. He got up from the floor and went to the sink to brush his teeth. "I heard it all Scully." He told her between brushes. "Jacob honey, why don't you go watch cartoons for a little while. I'm taking your dad to the bedroom." she started to say when he interrupted. "But I need to take care of him," he insisted. "And you will. Your dad and I have a lot of talking to do. When we finish talking then I'll call you so you can take care of him. Is that a deal?" she offered a compromise. He shook his head, walking towards the sink, pulling Mulder's shirt so that Mulder would bend down. Jacob gave him and kiss and walked out of the bathroom. Mulder finished rinsing his mouth, then looked at her, "Why Scully?" then walked out of the bathroom, heading towards his bedroom. They left the bedroom door ajar not wanting Jacob to feel completely alienated. "Mulder I don't know where to begin," she silently said sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. "How about the beginning. Scully right now I don't know how I feel. I know I'm hurt that after all these years, you feel like you had to go behind my back. I'm angry at how you went about it. What made you do this?" he accused. "Do you not want Jacob to be my son? Are you worried about Diana, what is it Scully?" he reproached. "How dare you accuse me of not wanting Jacob as your son. God that's all I wish," she said in such a silent voice that was barely audible, "I would have accepted anyone as his mother except her. I would have loved to have been his real mommy." Her head bowed at the last remark. Mulder felt such mixed emotions he didn't know how to respond to. He would get up, pace the length of the room, then sit back down next to her. "Mulder you don't think I saw how you reacted when the elevator opened and Diana walked out those doors? You don't think I saw the expression on your face when you opened the door to see that wonderful little boy standing there calling you daddy? You don't think I saw the anxiety in getting back from an assignment to see Jacob again. When, in the six years has that ever happened? As long as I've known you, X-Files as been above everything," she lectured. "I still hear the sound of your voice when you called me earlier today saddened that you weren't going to see Jacob and then the joy and disbelief when I brought him to you. Do you think I've done this to pry in your life? A life that I thought I was part of. Maybe not in the way I'd..." she started to say then stopped her sentence half way. "In six years I have shared your passion in seeking the truth. Yes we have had our differences and maybe that's why you would prefer believing Diana. Is it because she thought exactly like you, but Mulder, when have I ever compromised or waver my integrity?" Some of the words she had just said were like knife wounds in his gut as he remembered saying them himself when she was close to death during her cancer years. "If you want Mulder, I'll give you Agent Miller's phone number and you talk to him. Have him tell you everything he told me about Diana, about Agent Lane and what he thinks happened the day Star was killed." Mulder finally sat down, he had his head bowed, placing his hand on her lap and listening to everything he was telling her. "I'm just afraid of the truth. Isn't it ironic," he chuckled, "all my life I've been searching for the truth, and right now, that's the last thing I want to know." "This 'not knowing' has to stop Mulder. Don't you want to put a closure? Don't you want to think of Star and not be guilty; thinking it was you who was at fault? Don't you want to know if you are Jacob's dad? And if by chance you're not, you can honestly tell me that your feeling for him would change," she sermonized. He filled his lungs with air, moving his head back with his eyes closed, and then slowly letting the air out. He held her hand tighter and then timidly said yes. She stood up; getting her purse and taking the small paper that she had written Joseph Miller's phone number. She took the phone by the nightstand and sat back down close to him. "Are you ready?" she asked him, and he said yes. She dialed the phone, acknowledging who she was and passing the phone to Mulder. There was silence from him for a second and then greeted Miller the best he could. Agent Miller proceeded to tell him everything that he had told Scully. He told Mulder that Diana and Gary were together during the time that Mulder and Star were married. Miller told him that the relationship had cooled down when Star died and that he was told that the living relationship between Mulder and Diana was strictly platonic. "Platonic, and Lane believed her?" he said in a cutting voice. "He loved her and he thought she was being truthful with him. Wouldn't you believe her if she was telling you that during lovemaking?" he spat back defending his partners honor. The last sentence stung him deeply. It wasn't as if there were any feelings for Diana, in fact the feelings he had were complete opposite. It just hurt to know that she was having an affair when she was living with him. "So you are saying that when Diana and I were living together, she was also seeing Lane?" Mulder reiterated. "Yes Fox. I'm sorry to have to tell you this. There would be no reason for me to lie to you. If you remember, my partner was killed," he said with less venom in his voice. "Did you ever hear Lane say anything about Diana being pr..." he started to say but couldn't get the words out. "No Fox, nothing was ever mentioned. Agent Scully told me about the boy. I guess the only one that would know the answer to that question would be Diana. I'm so sorry Fox. You're not going to hear me say that I wish the child were Lane's. What for, so the child will be raised without a father. If Lane was living, I'd help him fight for the boy, but right now it's whatever is best for him. Don't you think? Lane was an only child and his parents are quite old. I don't even believe there are any aunts or uncles. He never mentioned much about his family. Fox, he could still be yours." Miller softened his voice. "I have one more question. The day of the stakeout, what happened?" he asked nervously. "That question you will have to ask Diana. I don't want to misconstrue anything. First find out what she has to say, come back to me and see if I agree with the events of that day." Miller said abruptly. "But..." he wanted for him to continue. "Fox, take time for all of this to sink in. Call me if you need me for anything. And Fox, it was very nice talking to you again. I've always admired you." He finished as he hung up the phone. Mulder gave the receiver to Scully as she walked it back to the nightstand. "Scully, she lied to me. I trusted her, I..." he said raising his voice. He turned his head noticing the door move just a little and seeing Jacob's little face. Mulder forced a smile and motioned for him to come in. "Daddy are you still sick?" he asked, "Daddy I wasn't listening by the door I promise. I was scared you were very sick." "Your daddy is much better. He just has a lot on his mind," Scully told Jacob. "I'll be right back," Jacob said excitedly and ran out of the room. "Mulder, are you still upset with me. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you," she told him. "Scully I've been so selfish. I remember what Maurice said about me when we went to that haunted house on Christmas Eve. He said I was a narcissistic over-zealous self, righteous maniac," he said trying to lighten the situation. "You also said that he told you that you were afraid of the loneliness. Mulder, you're not alone, I'm here with you and I always will. You also have Jacob. Whether he's your biological son or not, you have both won each others hearts and that will never change." Mulder turned to face her, taking her into his arms, nudging his face in her shoulder. Jacob, noticing the embrace walked on his tiptoes in an attempt to sneak up on them quietly. "Daddy, you * do * love mommy Dana!" The two separated the hug and opened their arms for Jacob to join them. "So, dinner anyone?" Mulder asked. The evening past quickly and the evening ritual started. "Jacob, Mulder, time for a shower," she announced. "Oh Scully, you're taking both of us a shower?" he teased. "Daddy you're silly, come on, I like taking showers now." Jacob giggled "Scully I want you to give me Diana's address. I want to go visit her," he mentioned tucking Jacob in bed. "You're going to see mommy?" he asked sitting up quickly. "No, no Jacob, I just want to write her address down," Mulder lied. "I'll give you the address, but not tonight," she whispered. The early sun shone brightly through the living room window as Scully opened her eyes from her weekend bed, the couch. Mulder was sitting on the chair next to her waiting for her to wake up. "Mulder what time is it?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. "About 8:00 in the morning. Can I have the address now? If you don't give it to me, I'll call the stooges," he threatened. "Mulder are you planning on leaving right now? She might still be asleep, and what about Jacob?" she continued sitting up. "Jacob is still asleep and as for Diana, I'll wake her up. Scully I need to find out. I don't want to wait until tomorrow when she picks him up and besides I don't want Jacob to hear anything." She stood up going to her purse taking out the note pad with Diana's address. She wrote it down on another piece of paper and handed it to him. "Mulder, will you be alright?" she asked worriedly, "I wish I could go with you." "No, this is something I have to do on my own." He replied. "What if she says something you don't want to hear?" "I guess I'll have to live with it, don't I" he responded walking toward the front door. It took him 15 minutes to find her apartment. It seemed interesting that she would pick an apartment so close to his place. he thought. After a little hesitation, he went to the apartment on the 6th floor and knocked on the door. After a couple of minutes the door opened. The expression on Diana's face was the same that he had given to her the day the elevator door had opened just 2 weeks before. "Mulder, is Jacob okay, where is he?" she quickly asked. "He's fine, I left him with Scully. I needed to talk to you Diana. You didn't expect to come back to my life in one form or another and not bring the subject of our past, did you?" "There's nothing to talk about," she quickly responded letting him in. "I'll get you some coffee, lets go to the kitchen," she suggested. They both sat next to each other at the dinner table both clearly nervous at what was about to happen. Mulder decided to start the conversation. "I had an interesting talk with Agent Joseph Miller last night." He said. "Ah that name, seems to be coming up quite often," she responded. "Diana this isn't a social call, I am here to get some answers, answers that I wouldn't be asking if you didn't come back in my life," he continued fidgeting with the handle of the coffee cup. "So you think I'm back in your life," she smiled. "Not in that way Diana. That was over a long time ago, you made sure of that," he said curtly. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to make a lifetime commitment because of my pregnancy," she said thinking he would side with her concern. "WHAT!, how nice of you that you chose to decide for me. I may not have been married to you, but I thought that I already was committed to you. I didn't realize that you were committed to two men," he insulted. She stood up from the chair and went to the kitchen sink to throw the coffee away, "What are you talking about?" she dumbly asked. "Don't try to deny it. You were seeing Gary Lane," he accused. "I was, but that was when you were married to Star." The laughter unexpectedly came out of his mouth, getting off his seat and walking towards her. "You are going to tell me that you were not sleeping with him when we were living together?" he angrily said. "So Diana tell me, who is Jacob's father?" The venom in her eyes was obvious as she raised her hand ready to slap him. His reaction was faster and grabbed her hand. "You might have had the upper hand with Scully, but not with me." "What are you talking about? Jacob is yours!" she shouted. "Is he? How do you know Diana? Jacob could be either Lane's or mine. Did you ever take a blood test Diana?" he gruffly said. "He's yours Fox, he's your son," is all she would say. "How can I believe that. I would have believed it if I didn't know anything about Lane, but with his name in the picture, I need to see proof." he urged. "I have another question, what made you leave? And don't tell me it was for me. Why did you leave the way you did? Gary Lane had died a few weeks before. Were you heartbroken that the baby was his and he had died? Diana, you could have made me believe all these years that I was Jacobs dad with me none the wiser." He persisted. "Fox I told you that Jacob is yours." She insisted. "Okay, okay I was seeing him but not like you think. I was confused Fox. He was with me when you were married to Star. You didn't have the time of day for me. All you thought of was work or Star," Mulder's voice sounded with bitter resentment, "What do you mean I didn't have the time of day for you. For God's sakes Diana I was married. I loved my wife. You knew Diana; you and I was a perfect match at work. I thought you understood that. I didn't realize that you thought of me in any other way." The realization of his own words took a different turn, "Diana what are you telling me right now. What happened on that day? Did you ever call her Diana, did you tell Star to meet me at the warehouse. Damn it Diana, what did you do?" he said irrationally. "Just what are you accusing me of, Fox. How dare you think that I would do anything to hurt her? Are you telling me that you think I purposely told her to meet you there." The conversation was now out of hand. They were not getting anywhere as the words were thrown back and forth to see who could hurt the other one worse. Ask Joseph Miller, he was there when I picked up the phone. I went to your desk to call her, I told her that dinner was cancelled" she yelled. "Then what happened, what happened next?" he persisted. "Nothing, nothing happened, I told her that dinner was cancelled. I can't believe what you are accusing me of doing. God, do you think that I wanted you so bad that I would purposely send Star in the middle of a stakeout so she would get caught on the crossfire? You don't remember that I hurt for you when she was killed. Do you not remember who stayed back and told you to take some time off? I was there for you Fox; I was there when you were grieving. If you remember Fox, it was you who asked me to move in. I didn't push myself on you. You asked me to live with you," she continued digging. "So you're telling me that you moved in only because I asked you. You didn't want to?" he asked confused. "Of course I wanted to. Fox you're turning the words around, of course I cared for you, I did love you Fox," she said raising her voice. "So when did you decide to love Lane and me at the same time?" he jabbed. "Fox, I want you to go * Now *. I won't stand here listening to your insults. Believe what you want. I will let you continue seeing Jacob. You can see him every weekend or whenever you want to see him. I won't take him away from you. He * is yours * Fox. He is your son, but believe what you want. Right now, I just want you to leave * NOW *" she said walking towards the front door and showing him out. 70 1 Sins of Our Fathers - 8/8 CorrineLS@eathlink.net (Lakota) He opened his apartment door to see Jacob lying on the floor on his stomach, coloring on his book. he thought walking in. The sound of the door got Jacob's attention. He jumped from his little coloring space and ran to Mulder outstretching his arms, giving him his 'welcome home' wet kiss. Mulder carried him back to where he was coloring. Scully was sitting on the couch reading a book. "How did it go?" she asked. He shrugged his shoulders, motioning with his head to follow her to the bedroom. She stood up following Mulder looking back in hopes that Jacob wouldn't follow. Mulder sat on the bed leaning his back on the headboard then raised his long legs on the bed. "Scully I know less now then I did before I went," he said in desperation. "What do you mean," she replied, sitting by his feet as he raised his knees up to give her space to sit closer. "She told me the same thing that Miller told me, nothing new. She was with Lane when I was married. She cared for me very much but she was confused. She called Star, and oh yes, I asked her to move in. She made it sound like she wasn't that interested, but she did love me. One more thing, after months living with me, she seemed to need to see Lane. She moved out not to hurt me, and Jacob is my son," he said sarcastically. "She insisted on two things, one that she did call Star and two Jacob is my son." "Do you believe her?" Scully asked, not realizing she was starting to rub the calf of his leg. "I guess I'll have to call Miller to verify," he said, picking the phone from the nightstand along with the piece of paper with Miller's number on it. "Joseph Miller, this is Fox Mulder again, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's one more question I have to ask. I went to see Diana today and she pretty much concurred with everything you said. She insisted that she did call Star. Miller, from your perspective, can you tell me what exactly what happened on that day, after I left the office?" he asked. "Fox, she is right, she did call Star. I think she now knows what she did inadvertently. She told Star without even realizing what she had done," he explained to Mulder. "How do you mean inadvertently?" he asked. "I didn't remember this for years until I hung up the phone with Agent Scully. The more I thought about it, the more I know Diana remembers. After you left, Diana went to your desk to call Star. I do remember that. She did tell her that the dinner was cancelled. The next thing I remember is that we needed to head on out and meet you. Lane asked her where the location of the warehouse was. She picked up the notepad and read the name of the warehouse, and the complete address. But she had said it to us, not to Star. The phone was cradled under her chin, so now I think that your wife heard the cancellation and then she heard Diana tell us the location of the warehouse. Your wife never went to your office and saw your note. It wasn't your fault that she was there. Diana unwittingly told her where you would be," he explained. "Oh my God, my wife was killed because of a stupid mistake," he said as his voice sounded with deep anguish. Scully stopped rubbing his calf and moved closer to him holding his hand, not knowing what he was just told. "Fox, it was an accident, a very drastic, senseless mistake. I am so very sorry. Now I want to ask you a question. What did she have to say about Lane, about Jacob?" Miller wanted to know. "She did concur with you about being with Lane. She told me that the relationship ended when Star was killed, but after we were living together, she went back to him. "And Jacob, what about Jacob?" Miller wanted to know. "She insists that he's my son, but how can I believe her." He said silently. "You know there's a way to find out the truth. If you want, I can have Gary's body exhumed. We can get DNA proof on who the father is," Miller offered. "Fox, but if you don't want to know, we can let this whole matter drop. Let Jacob be your son. You can finally put the stakeout to rest. Know in your heart that it wasn't you, that it was a very unfortunate misinterpretation," Miller tried to console. "Thank you Miller, thanks for all your help" Mulder said softly and hung up the phone. "Did Miller tell you about the phone call?" Scully asked now massaging his stomach. "Yes. Scully, do I want to know the truth about Jacob? Miller told me he'd exhume Lane's body to know the truth." "If there was a way to find out, other than exhuming Lane's body, would you do it?" she asked, thinking of the blood sample in the lab. "I don't know. Should I just believe in Diana's words and raise him as my own, and then years later find out that he's been living his life a lie" he said sadly. The door banged open as Jacob came flying in, crawling on top of the bed and doing his usual jumping. "Jacob, what is it with your jumping?" Mulder reprimanded. He took one last jump and landed on his bottom. He crawled on his hands and knees close to Mulder and Scully. He enveloped his arms around Mulder and gave him a wet kiss and then turned and hugged his arms around Scully doing the same. He then wrapped his right arm around Mulder's shoulder and with his left finger wiggled it in a 'come here' motion for Scully to get closer. She scooted on the bed sitting around the chest area of Mulder. Jacob then wrapped his left arm around her shoulder. They both just looked at each other wondering what Jacob was up to. He brought his arms together forcing Mulder and Scully to literally be face to face. "Kiss!" he instructed, "Mommies and Daddies are suppose to kiss and you daddy, never kiss mommy, so kiss!" he demanded forcing their lips to connect. There was nothing they could do but smile and comply with his demands. A short peck on the lips and they backed away. "Nope, kiss again," Jacob giggled and he pushed them together again, "that was not a kiss, too short." The two connected their lips and took a little longer than the previous peck. "Nope, longer, kiss longer, mommies and daddies kiss longer," Jacob laughed again, pulling them together. He wouldn't let the tight grip go until their kiss lasted longer. The kiss lasted longer than they expected. The grip was loosened but the kiss continued. Jacob pleased at his mission backed off. Realizing they were still kissing they backed from each other, both feigning a coughing bout. "Daddy you know what?" he turned to him ready to enlighten him with information. "What Jacob?" Mulder asked, trying to change the subject, wondering what in the world just happened. "Okay, I saw a mommy and daddy kiss a lot, then I think mommy and daddy were going to take a shower because they took * all * their clothes off. And then mommy and daddy started playing on the bed. Daddy, they were naked," he emphasized. "Then guess what? The daddy started wrestling with the mommy and then the daddy..." he was narrating. Mulder and Scully's eyes widened at the loaded information Jacob was telling them, "and then the daddy was on top of the mommy and they were dancing and then I think they got hurt because they started calling God." "Jacob, where did you see this?" Scully asked startled. "On daddy's t.v." he responded nonchalantly pointing to the door, implying he saw it on the living room television. "Fox William Mulder, are you subscribed the Playboy Channel." Scully said giving Mulder a piercing look. Jacob started laughing. "I... I..." is all he could respond. "And you are going to unsubscribe today, are you not," she ordered. "Yes mommy," Mulder childishly answered. "Jacob when did you see this show?" Scully turned to Jacob. "When you and daddy were talking a lot. I was tired of cartoons and I was changing the channels and I saw the mommy and daddy kissing. Mommy, I wish you would kiss daddy." he childishly. "Hey daddy my name is Wilam Mader too," he tried to pronounce. "You have my name too!" he said joyfully, then went to Mulder and started playing with his face. "Daddy you have hair on your face, you need to shave." "Ummm changing the subject, who does that so cleverly," Scully insinuated to Mulder's antics. "Moi, change subject, never, Jacob why don't you start getting ready and we'll go somewhere. How about we go to the park again?" Mulder suggested changing the subject. Jacob jumped off the bed and went to the dresser pulling the bottom drawer out. He started taking his clothes off down to his underwear. Mulder and Scully just smiled and kept on looking at the boy taking different assortment of clothes out of the drawer. He put the clothes on the bed and then said, "going to bathroom" and headed for the bathroom. Mulder pulled Scully close to him, looking intensely at her bright blue eyes that sparkled in front of him. "Scully, what makes life so difficult?" he asked her taking a hold of her hand. Before she was able to comment, he took her hand to his lips and kissed them lightly. "I've always tried to keep you at a distance. I was afraid that if I let you in, you'd..." he was saying when she interrupted his sentence. "You were afraid I would be another Phoebe or Diana?" she asked. "No, I was afraid you'd be my Star, and leave me like she did," he said sorrowfully. "Everyone that I've cared for and loved have left me in one form or another. When they brought you in as my partner, I did my best to scare you away, but you wouldn't leave. You finally got under my skin," he joked. "I meant everything I told you in the hallway, Scully. You saved me; your strict rational science has saved me a thousand times over. You kept me honest; you made me a whole person. You're my one in 5 billion Scully," he passionately said as he looked deeply into her eyes. "I also told you those three words about six months ago and you just gaffed it off, you didn't believe me." "Mulder you were not yourself, you were talking crazy things, the Bermuda Triangle, Toto, Scarecrow, I mean Mulder you were out of your mind?" she teased. "You thought I was out of my mind, but I meant those three words Scully, I love you Scully, I fell in love with you on the day that we were in the car in the stakeout searching for Tooms. You told me that you wouldn't put yourself on the line for anybody but me. You have Scully; you have put yourself on the line for me. You've lied for me, you've taken care of me, and you've stood up for me. What have I given you in return," he lamented. "Mulder, how can you say that. How can you say that you haven't given me anything in return? The numerous times you have saved me. You were there every step of the way through my cancer. You exchanged your sister for me, to save me. Even when you thought that the person was your sister. You went to the ends of the worlds to rescue me. I repeat Mulder, how can you say that. If anything comes out of these two weeks is that I now know the reason you've kept me at arm length and there was never a reason for you to do that. I am not Phoebe, I am not Diana and I am not Star. I will always be here for you. I love you Fox Wilam Mader," she teased saying his name like Jacob had pronounced it. "Speaking of Wilam Mader, where is the little guy?" she asked looking around the room. "Son, Jacob, what are you doing in the bathroom for so long. Are you okay?" Mulder shouted, started to swing his legs around Scully to get off of the bed. But not fast enough before Jacob comes strolling in cheeks, chin, forehead and most of his arms filled with shaving cream. "What the h..." Mulder started to say when he received a swift punch on the arm. "Language," Scully whispered, trying very hard to stifle a laugh, "Jacob what in the world are you doing?" "Mommy, I wanted to shave just like daddy to get ready to go to the park. Daddy needs a shave too. He's got whiskers all over. Am I going to be on 'time out'?" he asked uneasy. "No, of course you're not going to be put on time out, come here," Mulder said, stretching his arms to Jacob. The little shaving creamed boy jumped on the bed, splashing droplets of cream all over the blankets. "Jacob, you're calling Dana, mommy. You're not calling her mommy Dana anymore?" he asked. "Daddy, it's too long. I like mommy better. I have two mommies. Is that okay?" the boy asked. "It's very okay," Mulder said, mischievously swiping his hands on the shaving cream and quickly rubbing it all over Scully's face. She was not fast enough as she felt the white foam smear all over her cheeks. "You want to play huh," she responded, filling her hands with Jacob's cream and rubbing it on Mulder's face. The three started laughing as they all held each other close and hugged face to face to face with shaving cream all over them. "I think it's time for a shower for all," Mulder teased, winking his eye at Scully. "I don't think so, you two go in first, I'll shower after," she responded going to the bathroom to wipe the shaving cream away from her face. The two followed behind, locking the bathroom door, not letting Scully out. "Very funny," she snickered. She opened the door but before she stepped out, she grabbed Mulder by his T-shirt and brought him close to her face. "We'll shower together later," she teased, then proceeded to give him a long passionate kiss and then walked out. "DADDY, she kissed you, mommy kissed you!" he shouted jumping up and down. Sunday evening came again quicker then they wanted. Jacob was dressed and ready to be picked up by his mother. They chose to leave all his clothes he brought at Mulder's so that he wouldn't be carrying the clothes back and forth. It was already past his 7:00 p.m. bedtime and Jacob was snuggled in Mulder's arms fast asleep. "Mulder, if there was a way to find out the truth about Jacob, would you want to know?" Scully asked in a very low voice. "I don't know. I have been struggling with that question in my head for the last few days. Diana insisted that he's my son, but I don't believe anything she says anymore. If I don't pursue the truth, it might haunt me when he's older. What if years from know we find out that I'm not his father and he thinks we've purposely kept the identity of his real father from him? I know it's easy to find out, but I think for right now, I just want to enjoy him. I want us to enjoy him as long as we could," he said stretching his arm taking a hold of Scully's hand and brought it to his lips to kiss. The knocking came right at 9:00 p.m. Scully stood up to let Diana in. "Diana I hope you don't mind but we're leaving his clothes here. It will be easier for the weekend's trips on both of us. Is that okay?" Mulder asked, standing up trying to wake the sleeping boy. Jacob pried his eyes open and smiled as he saw his mother. He kissed Mulder and Scully and then was given to Diana to hold. He was too sleepy to walk on his own. "Next Friday?" Mulder asked nervously. "Next Friday" Diana responded and walked out. It was Monday afternoon and Mulder and Scully decided to stay in the office that week. They had piles and piles of paperwork that they had been neglecting for some time. Scully had noticed that every 30 minutes Mulder would pick up the phone and dial someone. She wouldn't ask him who he was trying to get a hold of until finally mid afternoon she decided to ask him. "What is going on Mulder, who are you trying to call?" "Scully I've been calling Diana's office all day long. She doesn't answer," he said clearly with a nervous sounding voice. "Mulder, she's probably out on assignment. Don't get paranoid on me," she responded. Her cell phone started ringing as she retrieved it from her coat pocket. "Scully," was her greeting? "Hi Dana, its Sally. I didn't know if it was okay to call you during the day. I've got your results of the blood test." Sally told. Scully's face became pale at the message that was being told to her. She turned her body so that her back would be towards Mulder. "So soon? Wasn't it suppose to take about 3 weeks?" she asked not really wanting to know the results. "Do you know the results?" her voice barely above a whisper. "I do. I'll have the file in my office whenever you want to pick it up." Scully pressed the end button on her cell phone and stuffed it back on her jacket pocket. "Who was that?" Mulder asked picking up his phone and dialing Diana's office number again." "Ah, Skinner, didn't want anything of importance. Mulder, why don't you just go to her office. What is it that you want to ask her?" she asked doing a Mulder 'change the subject' routine. "Sounds like a good idea. I'll be right back," he responded, standing up and heading for the door. "Mulder I have an quick errand to do. I'll be back in about 20 to 30 minutes. I'll meet you back here." She said waiting for him to leave so she could head over to the lab and get the results. Scully reached the lab waiting impatiently for Sally to hang up the phone and give her the file. "Dana, I came right away. Here's the file," she said handing the sealed brown envelope with Mulder's and Jacobs lives in it. "Sally, you said you know the results, right," she said. Sally merely shook her head in agreement. "Are you going to open the envelope?" Sally asked. "I don't know Sally. I'm scared that I'll see something I don't want to see. Will you promise me something Sally? Swear to me that this will always be between you and me. Don't ever, ever tell anyone. Can you swear to me that this will be our secret." Scully didn't know how else to enforce the importance of her silence. "Don't worry Scully, I won't say anything. You can trust me," she said. Scully took the brown envelope and placed it under her arm. She wanted to quickly get back to the office so she can stuff it in her briefcase without Mulder noticing. She made it back in record time taking a big sigh of relief seeing the empty office. She quickly stuffed the envelope in her briefcase. The door to the office was pushed open at a force that shook the pictures on the wall. "Mulder, what's the matter?" she asked worried seeing Mulder come in breathless and forehead sweating with perspiration. "Scully, my God Scully, she's gone. Her office is cleared out," he spoke quickly that his words were barely understandable. "Control yourself Mulder, are you sure. Did you ask her AD Maybe she's on assignment," Scully responded holding on to him trying to control his shaking body. "Scully, she took him, she took Jacob again. Scully I need Jacob. I don't want to loose him again. Scully, I love Jacob, she took him again." Scully couldn't control him as he paced back and forth breathing heavy until he plopped on his chair and dropped his head on the desk over his folded arms. "Let's go, come on Mulder let's go to her place. She might still be there." She instructed Mulder as she grabbed her briefcase and went to his desk to grab his arm and had him follow her lead. He was pulling his keys out of his pants pocket ready to drive, when she took them from his hand. "Not today Mulder, you are in no shape to drive." They got to Diana's apartment in record time as they both darted out of the car and ran into the apartment building. They waited impatiently for the elevator to open, when Mulder looked to the side to see the stairway to the top floors. He chose the stairs and he flung the door opened and took 2 steps at a time up to the 6th floor. Scully waited for the elevator door as it opened the minute Mulder had already darted for the stairs. The elevator doors opened and she walked out about the same time that Mulder opened the stairwell doors. He was completely out of breath as he bent down placing his hands on his knees bending over trying to get his breathing in control. They rushed to the apartment and knocked. No answer, as they knocked again. "Diana opened the door, Jacob are you there, honey, open the door." Mulder yelled hitting the door with his fist starting to sound hysterical. The elderly neighbor that lived across the hall opened to door to the pounding of the door. "What is the ruckus?" she asked impatiently. "Sorry ma'am, we are Agents with the FBI, have you seen your neighbor today?" Scully asked, taking her badge out and showing it to the older woman. "Dear, the lady and her little boy moved out a couple of hours ago. I remember the little boy crying. Poor little thing, he sounded so sad," she responded. Mulder took the lock pick from his jacket pocket and shimmied the door open. They flung the door open to see an empty room. They both searched room by room and found nothing. Everything was empty except Jacob's Peter Pan book that was lying on the floor next to the door. Mulder bent down to pick it up and fell to his knees clutching the book to his chest. Scully bent down to hold him putting her arms around him. She brought him to her chest as she felt his tears wet her blouse. There wasn't a sound coming out, just the wet tears. But then the sobs started the uncontrollable sobs that he couldn't stop. She let him cry until he couldn't anymore. "Mulder, we'll find them. I told her I would never let her go. I told her I would find her if she decided to leave. Come on, let's go to your apartment and get ourselves together so we can plan the next course of action." She said, taking control and lifting him off the floor. She wrapped her arm around his and led him back to the parking lot. She opened the door for him and helped him in the car. They drove the 15 minutes back to his apartment in silence. Mulder starring out the window still clutching at Jacob's Peter Pan Book. She parked the car, opened the back door to her car grabbing her briefcase. She walked around to open the door for Mulder and holding him by his elbow. They walked towards the elevator, Mulder's hazel eyes almost dark with distress. The elevator doors opened, Scully stepping out first. Mulder's eyes looking down as he walked and being guided by Scully. Her heart sank, as she looked straight ahead seeing 4 suitcases neatly piled in front of his apartment room and Jacob sitting on the floor crying. "Oh my God, Mulder look, Mulder it's Jacob," she shouted not realizing the sound of her voice. Mulder's head raised seeing Jacob sitting on the floor. At the sound of Scully's yell, Jacob turned to see the two running towards them. The mother of 3 that lived across the way opened her door as she saw the three run towards each other. "Fox hi, listen don't think the lady left the boy alone. She told me to keep an eye on him. I offered to let him in, but I think he's afraid of me. So I kept my door ajar," Mulder's long time neighbor said as she stood by her door. "Thanks Susie, how long has he been here?" he asked his voice still shaking. "Not long at all, probably about 30 minutes ago. Well better get back to my children. Nice seeing you again Fox, Dana," she said as she entered her apartment room again. "Daddy, daddy daddy I was so afraid. I didn't know if you were coming home," he whimpered. Mulder couldn't hold him tight enough. "Look what I have here, your Peter Pan Book." He said showing him the book. They both walked in as Scully carried two suitcases at a time. She took her briefcase to Mulder's bedroom and placed it at the corner, thinking of the file that was stashed with all of Mulder's future at hand. "Honey, where is your mom, what did she tell you?" he asked sitting on the couch placing him on his lap. Jacob voice was quivering so much that the words were hard to come out. "She told me that she loved me very much. She said she had to go away for awhile and she was going to leave me with my daddy. She said you loved me very much and that I could live with you," he mumbled. "Daddy you won't give me away will you. Mommy said that she had me for a long time and it's your turn to love me." "Honey, I won't give you away. You will be with me for a very long time." Mulder said holding him close. As he held him near he felt a pin stick in him. "What is this?" he asked, noticing an envelope pinned in the inside of the jacket he had on. "I forgot. Mommy wanted you to read this." Mulder unpinned the note and with shaking hands opened it up. Scully walked into the living room watching him open the letter. Dear Fox and Dana, My intentions were not to leave Jacob at your doorstep, but things got out of hand. I have lived these last 6-1/2 years in guilt, knowing that I had a secret and wasn't able to tell anyone. I always spoke highly about you to him, Fox. He has only known you as his father. All the sins of my past seemed to be storming in these last two weeks. Yes Fox, I know what I did regarding Star. I swear that I did not tell her intentionally that you would be at the warehouse. Yes I was in love with you from the moment they put us together as partners on the X-Files, but I was happy just seeing you happy. When I arrived, at the stakeout, you were already holding her in your arms. At first I was confused at how she got there, but I quickly remembered the conversation with Agent Miller and Agent Lane. I knew right away what I had done. How could I tell you that she was there because of me? I was jealous of your happiness and Gary was there to comfort me. We were together during the time you were married. He was a very wonderful man and he looked like you so much that I would fantasize that it was you. I know that wasn't fair for him. After Star died I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to be there for you, to hold you but I knew you were in so much pain. I was patient because I knew you would need someone to be there. After months of waiting, you asked me to move in with you. I think you were in love with me. I was ecstatic being with you. But something was missing. You still had the memories of Star, and you had so many nightmares about your sister. I felt like I couldn't get you to really notice me, so I wandered back into Gary's arms. Yes I was seeing him and living with you. It's not something that I'm proud of, but again, that was the sins of my past. But Jacob was not a sin. He's the most wonderful beautiful boy in the world. Look at him Fox, he looks like you. Yes Fox, I know who the real father is, but I will take that secret to my grave. If you want to pursue it and do a blood test, go ahead, but it will not come from my lips. Because Fox, in his little eyes, you will always be his daddy. I am going away for awhile. I don't know for how long, maybe months, maybe years. I will keep in touch with him. I'll write him and please don't let him forget me. Tell him that I'm doing this for him. Dana, I wrote your name on the top of this letter because I know that Fox will have you read it. Don't let Fox get away from you. He's a compassionate man. A loving man, a man that will do anything for the one he loves. And Dana, he loves you. A person has to be blind not to notice it. From the moment I stepped out of the elevator doors two weeks ago I noticed the look he had for you. And Jacob, what can I say, but only that you have melted my son's heart. I heard him call you mommy Dana the first time he did. It hurt to the core. But knowing that he loves you as much made me make my decision so much easier. Love my son, as he was your own. I know you will. Tell my baby boy I love him and Fox, don't let him forget me..... Diana.... There was so much information written in that letter that Mulder couldn't bare it any longer. His eyes welled with feelings that he didn't know if it was sadness or happiness. He handed the letter to Scully to read. She took it in her hand and read the letter slowly, once, twice until it sunk in. "Mulder you've got Jacob, we have Jacob" she said tears rolling down her face. She took him from his arms and they both hugged and kissed until their faces were wet with each other's tears. "Honey, I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back," Scully said as she placed the boy back on Mulder's lap. She went into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She went to her briefcase and pulled out the envelope. With shaking hands, she pulled the file out. With a deep breath that was felt to the pit of her stomach she opened the file. She took a quick glance at the findings and without an expression on her face, tore the file in tiny pieces, over and over again until the pieces were so small that they could have been mistaken for ashes. She went to the bathroom and through the pieces of Mulder's, Jacob and Gary's lives in the toilet. She flushed the toilet seeing the water and pieces of paper swirl around the bowl, round and round until all clues of the blood test were gone. She went back to the living room and knelt in front of Mulder. She cupped his face in her hands and brought him close to her. She gave him a light kiss, that barely touched his lips, then another one just a little longer and another until the last kiss held so much intensity that they were both breathless. Jacob started laughing at the site. "Mommy and Daddy are kissing, K I S S I N G." he started singing, "I love my mommy and daddy". Weeks past and the lives of three individuals were changed drastically. Out in the foreground were images of a man throwing the ball at a little boy who would swat the bat seconds after the ball past him. The woman crouching down behind the boy catching the balls as it passes by him. They would do this for hours. After the playtime was over she would see Fox carry Jacob onto his hip, the boy wrapping his legs around his daddy's waist. Jacob kissing Fox on the cheek and then turning to kiss Dana as well. Fox would then stretch out his hand to hold on to Dana's and the three would walk towards the car. The laughter of the little boy was heard up on the little incline where Diana stood watching the three. The End.... Feedback welcomed but please be kind - only my second story. 70 1