Title: Suck
From: Evan Black EvanJ4mesBlack@gmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Mulder sucks up. Scully sucks Mulder. Bill Jr just sucks.


SUCK


Christmas at Scully's Mom's house wouldn't be Christmas without Bill Jr being an asshole.

Scully's brother hates me like piles. I know that. He knows I know that. We both know Scully knows that. But she does insist on asking me to go with her every year and I do insist on accepting the invitation. I don't do it to piss Bill Jr off, I do it to be with Scully. Pissing Bill Jr off is just an inevitable by-product.

The first Christmas I spent with her family was just a few months after Scully's cancer went into remission. Therefore it was also just a few months after Bill called me a 'sorry sonofabitch' and pretty much blamed me for everything from Scully's cancer to global warming. Of course, I WAS to blame for Scully's cancer, so I didn't have a leg to stand on.

That Christmas was like the Bay of Pigs, with Bill and me not making eye-contact as we passed the mashed potatoes, while Scully, her Mom, Charlie and Tara flickered nervous glances around like Secret Service men alert for warheads.

Bill made no effort to hide his displeasure that I was there. At least I had the decency to fake good manners. I shook his hand when I came through the door - almost had to yank it out of his petulant pocket to do so, though; I laughed when he told some lame-ass joke about two sailors and a pineapple on a liferaft; I even bought him a fucking gift! I mean, I knew who would be there and bought them each something, just to show willing, but I still think it was polite above and beyond the call of duty to get anything for Bill Jr. Of course, it was the shittiest gift I could think of - a tacky ship in a bottle I'd seen in some Maine junk store that reeked of cat piss. Trouble was, Bill loved it! He tried his best to hide it - and thanked me like I'd given him gift-wrapped syphilis - but he kept looking at it and touching it and trying to work out how the thing worked, so I knew he thought it was pretty damned great.  The guy has the worst taste - that ship cost me seventeen bucks after haggling. It pissed me off. I bought everyone else something predictable but worthwhile and I'd been looking forward to watching Bill squirm when he had to suffer a shockingly bad non-present. What a backfire. 

Still, Scully was thrilled. She couldn't stop smiling at me. Bill Jr hadn't bought me anything, for which I was eternally grateful once I knew what lousy taste he had, but that gave me the moral high ground as far as Scully was concerned. She was dizzy with pleasure that'd I'd been the bigger man, and even kissed me close to my mouth when she gave me my present, which was a cool little book about how children imagine aliens would be. There were stories they'd written, poems and paintings. Some of them were pretty close to the mark, too, in my experience. 

The next year Bill was at least civil to me. I guess the fact that his sister was still alive helped. Charlie hovered and quickly drew me into the kitchen for a drink, making the transition from outside to inside the house a smoother one. Charlie was a nice guy. I couldn't work out how Bill got Tara to marry him while Charlie remained single. He was ten times the man his brother was. He even had the decency to roll his eyes at me after Bill's stiff no-eye-contact handshake. I was glad I'd got Charlie a Bruce Lee box set; he deserved it.

I'd been to quite a lot of trouble deciding what to get Bill this time round. I knew it was going to be difficult to top the bottle-boat for sheer irony (albeit wasted on Bill), but I really wanted him to know I thought he was an asshole, in the most undermining way possible. I toyed for a long time over one of those Swedish penis enlargers, but finally decided it lacked subtlety. Eventually I got him a box-set too. It was something I found online called 'The Splendid Sea'. From the covers it looked like ideal Bill Scully fodder - crashing waves on ship bows and all that shit, plus rave reviews about how the documentary was testament to the 'real pioneers' of the sea, from whalers to pirates to naval heroes. Blah blah blah. What was truly inspired about this purchase though, was that I knew that the whole thing was a joke. You had to read between the lines of the text on the boxes but the documentary series itself (which I'd been unable to resist watching before wrapping it) was a tongue-in-cheek piss-take of sailors, sailing, sailing ships and all things sailory (if that's a word). The beauty of it was that it was so cleverly done that you were left in some doubt as to whether it was meant to be serious or wildly funny and subversive. Bill Jr would never know for sure whether I'd realized that, and that's exactly what I wanted. 

Bill had been shamed by the ship in a bottle into buying me a gift that year, which was three pairs of cheap blue socks. It was a very poor present by anybody's standards; even Bill looked kinda guilty when he gave them to me, and nobody said anything when I unwrapped them. The man wanted me to know he hated me, so he bought me a gift that made everybody hate him! What an asshole! 

The whole evening was a masterstroke on my part - and also made Scully as pleased as punch. When I drove her home after Christmas dinner she kept thanking me for buying Bill The Splendid Sea and apologizing for the socks, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. When Scully got out of the car, she hugged me in gratitude and her lips grazed the corner of mine as she said goodbye. She was a bit drunk, of course, but lip contact is lip contact, and I went home and pleasured myself to the memory of it, before falling asleep giggling quietly, imagining Cap'n Bill settling down to watch The Splendid Sea and finding out what a bunch of cutthroat ass-bandits all sailors apparently are.

So 'tis the season to be jolly once more and I - and, I'm sure, Bill - are flexing our festive muscles in preparation for the next round of gift giving. 

Scully was going Christmas shopping and asked if I'd like to go too. 

'Sure, Scully,' I enthused, 'I don't have anything for your family yet.'

'Mulder, it's so good of you to make peace with Bill the way you do at Christmas. I really appreciate it you know.'

She smiled at me and my heart melted a little. I swear, she's so wonderful I even felt a little tiny bit guilty about Bill Jr and nearly resolved to buy him something kind and decent. Nearly.

I bought Maggie Scully a very pretty brooch. It was quite expensive, but she deserves it. Tara I bought hand-made chocolates because even when she's not pregnant, I've noticed she eats for two. For Charlie I got a set of real fighting nunchuks. Scully had told me how he'd started Kung Fu classes after I gave him the Bruce Lee films, and I thought he might get a buzz out of them. They were very beautifully carved and antiques. Scully rolled her eyes when I bought them.

'Boys will be boys,' was all she said as the old Chinese guy in the martial arts store folded them lovingly in about a hundred layers of bubble-wrap. I shrugged. Charlie was at least friendly to me, and buying him and Maggie great presents was good cover for buying Bill something truly terrible. It meant nobody would think it was because I was just cheap.

We wandered all over the place and Scully shopped like a demon. She was so organized. She had lists and sub-lists and secondary lists and lists of stand-by presents just in case she was given something by someone unexpectedly, so she could be ready with a general purpose gift and wouldn't be embarrassed by not having bought for them. 

She was remarkable. Still is.

Anyway, she made me stand outside a store while she went in to buy my gift. I'd already got her an entire solar system that hangs from the ceiling and glows in the dark. I hoped she'd love it. I loved it. If she didn't love it, maybe she'd give it back to me.

It was while I was waiting for Scully that I saw Bill Jr's gift. It was so perfect that I laughed out loud and nearly got killed in traffic crossing the road to a shop called Ahoy There! It was filled with psuedo-nautical gear, presumably for people who wished they had a boat but could only afford the T-shirt that said 'My other boat's the Titanic'. Boat geeks. Anyway, there was a navy sweater in the window that had a sailor collar knitted onto it, jauntily knotted in the front, and a ship's wheel embroidered on the chest with the words 'Hello Sailor' around it. It was the kitschest, most hideous sweater I've ever seen. Plus it was borderline gay, and the thought of Bill actually having to try it on on Christmas Day and - please god - maybe even having his picture taken in it, made me wriggle with pleasure and dive for my creaking credit card. It was outrageously expensive too, which only added to the deal for me, as surely no one would suspect that I'd paid $245 just to make Bill Jr look stupid. I mean, who would do such a thing, right?

I was so thrilled that I couldn't wait to show Scully. 

'Scully! I got Bill's present!' Bless her, she looked so happy that I felt guilty for the second time in an hour. We huddled in a doorway so I could show her. When I unfolded the sweater, Scully's mouth dropped open and I had to actually look away and pretend to see something across the road to stop myself laughing.

'Is that Skinner?' 

'Where?' said Scully, not even looking. She was so transfixed by the horrible sweater.

'Um, maybe not. I thought it was him,' I managed to scowl, pretending that I was confused, but really taking my face even further away from a laugh so it would take longer to travel back there if I felt the need coming on.

'What do you think, Scully?'

'Um...' 

Man, she was trying so hard not to be mean. Personally, I'd never have managed it in the face of such an onslaught of ghastliness. She obviously thought I'd lost my mind, my taste and my heterosexuality, all while she had left me outside the store for ten minutes.

'It was kind of expensive but I think he'll really like it. Cos he likes boats,' I explained helpfully.

'Ships, Mulder. He's the captain of an aircraft carrier. You know it drives him crazy when you say boats.'

'Sorry Scully. Ships. He likes ships, right?'

She nodded dumbly and - for something to do - fingered the price ticket. She almost had a seizure.

'$245???! Mulder are you nuts?!'

I shrugged and looked saintly: 'It's a lot, I know Scully. But I think it's just right for Bill.'

Hell, who was I kidding? I KNEW it was just right by the way complete strangers were staring at it in shock and amusement as they passed us. Frankly it was embarrassing just holding the damned thing.

Scully swallowed a lump and nodded slowly, not meeting my eyes. 'It's very generous of you Mulder.'

I grinned like she'd given it her personal ringing endorsement and folded it back into its bag. 'Christmas comes but once a year, Scully,' I said piously. And I was almost coming right there and then at the thought of seeing Bill Jr in that monstrosity.

Three weeks later Bill and I went through our phoney little dance at the front door. His hand is smaller than mine but he gripped me hard enough to make me wince to make up for it. Maggie hugged me like a prodigal son and Charlie clapped me on the back and grinned like he really was happy to see me. I asked him how the Kung Fu was working out and he threw a couple of moves at me like he was 14 or something, not 28.  Tara said hello a little tightly. I guess she had her orders from the captain. 

Lunch went pretty smoothly, although Bill did get a little irate when Scully let slip she'd nearly been beheaded by chicken factory cultists. It was an old case, and we could look back and laugh about it now, but it was the first Bill had heard of it and I could see him going all red around his collar. The look he gave me! I know he was thinking about putting me in one of those big catapults they fire jet fighters off ships with, and watching me ditch headfirst into a shark-infested ocean. I mean, I know it was sort of my fault Scully was nearly beheaded, but I was the one who rescued her in the nick of time, and he didn't seem to be cutting me any slack for that. Dick.

I ate until I felt sick, which is how Christmas is supposed to be, right? It never was when I was a kid. Even before Samantha was taken, Christmas was a pretty staid affair, as if we half-Jews shouldn't be having it at all. And after she was taken, that apparently became the consensus, because we never had another Christmas. The only presents I got were clothes or stuff for school which my Mom would have had to buy me anyway. I was gypped. 

Anyway, I ate so much that eventually Bill stopped passing me food, just ignoring my requests for more potatoes or corn. How rude is that? Charlie had to stretch across him to hand me stuff. Of course, that meant I had to keep asking Charlie for things until everyone noticed that Bill wasn't helping me, and Scully snapped at him and I looked completely innocent and said: 'That's okay Scully, I should probably stop eating anyway.' which only made everyone think I hadn't had enough. Which meant Maggie gave me two helpings of Christmas pudding with brandy butter. Buddy Rich could've played a solo on my tight gut and Bill was in the doghouse. It was great. Childish, but great.

After lunch I washed up all by myself. I insisted. I also broke two glasses and a platter but those are just casualties of war. If people don't want stuff to get broken, they shouldn't let guys near that stuff. Or guys like me, anyway.

Scully came in as I was hiding the broken platter in the bottom of the bin, and put her arms around my waist from behind. She'd had three glasses of wine with lunch and was all soft and happy and so beautiful I could barely speak. 

'Mulder, you're so great,' she slurred slightly.

'Did Bill tell you to come in here and say that?' I said, straightening up and turning in her arms to face her. She giggled and rested her forehead on my chest, exposing the pure white nape of her neck to me. I couldn't resist it; I bent down and kissed her there. I half-expected her to jerk her head up and knock me away, but instead she just sighed, so I parted the silky hair and kissed her there again. Then I lifted her face to mine and kissed her there too, just beside her eye. I felt her lashes stroke my lips and could sense she was holding her breath. She raised her face the rest of the way until she was looking at my mouth. And I was looking at hers. And then I was leaning in to kiss it, and everything stopped around us as our lips met. Scully's lips tasted exactly as they looked - plump and sweet and juicy, with her little teeth behind to give them just the right pressure. I turned my head to get a better angle, and she gave a little sigh that made me start to harden. 

'Jesus!' 

We sprang apart. At least, Scully sprang back from me and looked guiltily at Bill, who was standing just inside the kitchen door, all red in the face. Scully went red too, and turned away, while I looked Bill right in the eyes. Fuck off, I tried to say with my eyes, and - like The Stupendous Yappi - I think he got the message loud and clear, because he suddenly turned and stomped out.

'Okay Scully?' I asked. I reached for her but she slid away from me without meeting my eyes. 

'Let's go open presents, Mulder,' she said. 

There was only one present I was interested in opening, but that was too obvious even for me to say, so I just followed her into the lounge where the others were all gathered. Bill shot me a look that said he'd like me keelhauled. I just smiled at him. There was nothing he could do about it, and he knew it. And I was too happy to give half a shit about him anyway. Scully had kissed me! I'd kissed her first, but she'd definitely kissed me too. And she may try to blame the wine but I knew Dana Scully would never drink so much that she didn't know what she was doing; didn't know what she wanted. And - for those few seconds at least - she'd wanted me the way I've wanted her for years.

Opening presents was a joy. Bill's tight-assed big-brother act just made me happier. I kept looking at Scully and she wasn't avoiding my eyes, just blushing every time she met them. But in a good way, in a shy way, not in a what-the-hell-was-I-thinking way. She loved the solar system so much I knew she wasn't faking it, and I felt all warm even though I wasn't getting it back. Plus she bought me an Ed Wood box set and the autobiography of the guy who made all the shitty sets for Plan 9 From Outer Space. Great presents. And I got a little kiss from Scully each time one was unwrapped, which was making Bill's face stonier and redder by the minute.

It certainly was the season to be jolly.

For a little while, at least.

And then things went a bit wrong when Bill opened his present from me. I watched his face with the anticipation of a child at a firework display. But I saw only confusion, as he drew out a pair of antique black nunchuks. I turned in panic and saw Charlie unwrap the fucking sweater! SHIT. Before I could leap up and explain my labelling mix up, Charlie grinned at me and said, 'I LOVE it!!'

'Really?' Scully and I squeaked together. You could almost hear Charlie going into freefall in our estimation.

'Yeah, it's so retro-kitsch!' He stood up and pulled it on over his head. He looked all tousled and drunk and sparkly and - being much slimmer than his brother - it didn't look half as ridiculous as I'd hoped Bill would look in it. 'Thanks Mulder!'

'Sure, Charlie,' I shrugged. I could barely look at Bill, who was examining the nunchuks with a frown on his face.

'What are they Bill?' said Maggie, diplomatically. 

'Er, they're nunchuks,' I said. 'They're antique nunchuks.'

'What are they for?' said Bill, suspiciously.

Scully was grinning at me and I licked my lips. 'They're Chinese,' I stalled. 'They're Chinese... junk cleats. Cleats they use on their junks. I thought you'd like them because you like boats.'

'Ships,' said Scully quickly.

'Ships,' I agreed, even more quickly.

'Really?' said Bill, 'That's great. Thanks.' I started to breathe again. All thoughts of a triple whammy of crappy Christmas presents for Bill went straight out the window, but at least he seemed to have bought the Chinese junk story. It made me wonder how much he really knew about boats at all.

Maggie saw Tara had swilled down about her fourth glass of eggnog and asked if she'd like a refill. Trust me, it was a safe bet. I saw a chance to escape and leapt to my feet. 'I'll get the refills Maggie,' I said, 'you relax.' I ducked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, regrouping.

I jumped a little as the door opened but it was only Charlie in that dumb sweater. 'Hey Charlie,' I said.

He smiled, 'Hey Mulder. Want a hand?'

'Sure. Thanks.'

Charlie got the glasses and I started to pour the eggnog. I turned to put it back on the counter and Charlie leaned in like he was going to whisper something in my ear - something about Scully, I hoped - and then he kissed me. 

It gave me such a surprise I dropped the eggnog. 'Jesus, Charlie!'

But he grabbed me and kissed me again, I skidded backwards in the eggnog and fell against the counter and he came after me and pressed his hips and lips to mine. I was in shock for a moment, and when I wasn't I still didn't know what the hell to do. Charlie was Scully's brother, and I didn't want to hurt him but he was all over me, his tongue trying to force its way into my mouth - which was an X-File experience all by itself - and what felt uncomfortably like a hard-on digging into my leg.

I grabbed his hips to push him away and...

'What's holding up the eggnog--'

Bill stood stock still in the doorway looking at us - our lips locked and my hands on Charlie's hips. Charlie sprang back in an almost comical repeat of what Scully had done just a half-hour before. Almost comical - but not quite. I gritted my teeth and wanted to yell in frustration. 

Before I could, Bill came at me like a train. And, thanks to Yours Truly Stupid, he was a train now armed with nunchuks.

Or 'Chinese boat cleats'.

Whatever, they hurt like hell when he hit me with them. He caught me in the shoulder with one end and the other end whipped up into my cheek. I put up my arm to cover up but Bill was in a frenzy. I didn't want to hit him and lose three years' worth of the moral high ground - although a little outraged part of my brain complained loudly and pointed out that not hitting Scully's brothers was getting me nowhere but sexually assaulted and beaten up. I pushed Bill away but he kept coming back, yelling and flailing. Charlie was yelling too, trying to stop Bill, and we were all falling about in the eggnog I'd spilled. 

I was dimly aware that Scully was in the room, yelling too, along with her mother and Tara. Bill got me another couple of good shots around the head before he finally stopped and Scully and Charlie pulled him away. 

'Bill! what's going on?' Maggie was furious, as Scully tried to peer at the damage to me.

Bill was shaking with anger as he lunged at me again. 'He was kissing Charlie!' yelled Bill, 'Half an hour after I walked in and found him kissing Dana!'

There was a shocked silence and everybody was suddenly looking at me, and although I couldn't see that well through the blood that was seeping into my eyes, I thought I detected some hints of moral outrage. Okay, okay, they were staring at me like I was Jeffrey Dharmer. Scully was staring at me harder than anybody else, confused but wary. My head felt like it was splitting and I suddenly got pretty cross about the whole thing.

'Hold your horses,' I said. 'I was kissing Scully, but I wasn't kissing Charlie!'

'Bullshit!' spat Bill. 'You're a fucking degenerate and a liar as well as a sorry-ass sonofabitch! Get the fuck out of this house!'

'Bill! This is MY house, and I say who comes and who goes from it,' said Maggie firmly. Good for Maggie. Even deviants get a fair shake in her house.

'Mulder?' Scully's voice was quiet, but demanded an answer. 

'Scully, I swear, this is just a... misunderstanding. Charlie...?' I shot a look at Charlie, but he looked panic-stricken and - with a sinking feeling - I realized he was still wedged firmly in the closet and was terrified of me outing him right here right now.

'He was kissing him! Up against the counter! He was all over him with his tongue down his throat!' Bill was full of venom and - frankly - if he'd been right, I wouldn't even have blamed him. Kissing his sister AND his brother in the space of 30 minutes would have been ample justification for his outburst. 

But he wasn't right and I couldn't see a way to convince anybody of it without dropping Charlie in hot water. Not in my present state anyway. I felt a little sick and groggy and not like formulating any clever arguments. I just wanted to go home and go to bed. I was so groggy that the thought of bed didn't even make me think of Scully. Maybe I had a serious brain injury.

'Charlie? What happened?'

Trust Scully to cut through to the heart of the matter.

Charlie reddened and shifted and shrugged and mumbled until I wanted to slap him. I finally found something that Bill and I had in common, because he actually did slap him, on the arm, and demanded 'Come on, Charlie.'

'Mulder's telling the truth,' he mumbled. 'He wasn't kissing me.'

Bill growled in disbelief: 'I know what I saw! Are you calling me a liar?'

'No, Bill. It's just... I was kissing him.' 

Poor Charlie was so red now I thought he'd burst. Just like Bill. Gee, that Scully hair really plays havoc with the complexion.

'But why?!' yelled Bill. 'Why? Why would you...why would you do...that?' He was stupid with panic. It was funny to see. If he'd been on the bridge of his big fancy boat he'd probably have steered it into an iceberg at that point. 'Why?' he yelled again. 'But why?!'

'Oh Bill, be quiet for goodness sake!' snapped Maggie, looking at Charlie. 'Charlie?' she asked gently. 

'I'm sorry Mom, I should have told you before...'

'Oh Jesus,' said Bill and the look on his face when he found out his brother was gay was worth twenty Hello Sailor sweaters.

Charlie looked at me miserably. 'I thought... I mean, I just assumed...'

Despite my potentially deadly head wounds, I shot Charlie a look of total outrage that made Scully giggle into her hand.

'I mean, the presents you gave me - Elvis: The Jumpsuit Years, those hot Bruce Lee flicks, this... sweater...' He shrugged again: 'I just assumed you knew. And that you were...y'know?'

I mustered all the dignity I could for a man who's been mistaken for gay, slipped over in eggnog and whacked on the head by nunchucks - all pretty much simultaneously - and told him: 'Well I didn't know. And I'm not...y'know.'

'Sorry Mulder,' he mumbled.

'Forget it, Charlie.' I sighed and waved it away. Being the bigger man in the Scully household was proving to be quite the chore.

Maggie looked at Scully and me: 'Will Fox be all right Dana?' 

Scully nodded and giggled and rapped her knuckles on my head to show how hard it was, which I think was unnecessarily jovial and completely unprofessional. I could've died, for god's sake!

Then Maggie embraced Charlie and ushered him out of the kitchen with her arm around him. 

Tara tugged Bill's arm. I almost felt sorry for him, he was so befuddled and crushed, clutching his 'Chinese boat cleats' to his chest like they were a teddy bear. I WISH I'd bought him a teddy bear - my head wouldn't hurt so bad if he'd hit me with THAT. I thought for a moment that he was going to apologize - he damn well should have - but instead he shot me a bitter look and allowed Tara to lead him from the kitchen.

Scully and I were left alone. She found a clean tea towel in a drawer and dampened it, then started cleaning the blood from my face.

'I don't know what to say Mulder.'

'Nor do I Scully. I'm really sorry this happened.'

'Sounds as if it really wasn't your fault.'

'For a change.'

That got a little smile out of her. 'Yes, well,' she said dabbing at my head again, 'There's no change here - you bleeding, me patching you up.' 

'There is a change here Scully.'

'What's that?'

'You kissed me.'

'You kissed me Mulder.'

'Yeah, but you kissed me back.'

Her hands stilled on me and she flushed. For a moment we were both speechless, remembering that kiss. I remembered her taste in my mouth and the memory stirred my cock again, despite the pain in my head.

'Mulder, I...' Scully faltered and I was gripped with a terror that she was going to deny it - deny us.

She licked her lips nervously and my cock had apparently disconnected from my brain because instead of panicking and pleading and throwing itself on her mercy, it twitched and started to grow. It didn't help that Scully was looking down to avoid my eyes at that point, and I shifted nervously, hoping she wouldn't notice.

But she did notice. She must have. The silence went on forever and my cock got bigger and bigger and Scully just stood and stared at it. And the more she stared at it, the bigger it got, until I was really uncomfortable and in desperate need of rearrangement, at the very least.

Finally Scully's eyes flickered up to mine, but dropped immediately back to my jeans. She licked her lips again and I almost groaned in sheer lust.

'Mulder,...'

'Yes Scully?' My voice was hoarse.

She took my hand and led me out of the back door into the cold, dry night. The cold cleared my head like menthol - I guess I didn't have brain damage after all. She leaned me against the side of the house and I figured she was going to leave me there where I couldn't make trouble while she went in to get our stuff so we could leave. Instead she dropped to her knees on the back porch and undid my jeans.

'Scully!' The word hissed out of me as my hips bucked towards her involuntarily. Scully's face was close to my cock! I couldn't believe it. I was so excited I started to whine in the back of my throat.

She yanked my jeans open and tugged them roughly down my hips, and a blast of cold Christmas air hit my hard-on. It was so cold it was almost a physical blow, and instead of shrivelling it to a walnut, I felt my cock brace against it and slap me on the belly. Scully gasped 'Oh my god, Mulder' and then her heat enveloped me like fire.

'UUUNnngggghh!' 

Yeah, that Oxford degree really stands me in good stead at moments like this. Not that I'd had many moments like this. Or ANY moments like this - Dana Scully giving me head outside her Mom's back door. Jesus! And what head. Her little rosebud mouth was hot and wet and soft and firm, and her tongue worked up and down my shaft, teasing and tickling and nudging into my slit where I could feel pre-cum oozing out of me. Her delicate fingers teased my balls and ass, while mine got splinters gripping onto the clapboard so tight I thought I might rip a plank clear off the side of the house.

I held off touching her head as long as I could, but that was never going to last and soon I needed a different rhythm from the languid tease. I needed to thrust, to stroke, to push into her mouth, her hand, her sex. I needed to fuck. I started to jerk my hips and touched her hair lightly, pressing her away to let her know I was close. 'Scully,' I gasped, but I couldn't remember any other words. 'Scully!'

She didn't stop for a second, but her eyes did rise to meet mine and the sight nearly made me lose it right there and then - Scully's blue eyes watching me while my thick shaft slid in and out of her glistening lips. Instead of withdrawing, she closed her eyes and re-doubled her efforts. So I started to fuck her mouth, winding my hand through her hair gently but firmly to hold her steady. She couldn't take all of me inside, but wrapped her fist around my base and jerked me in time to her mouth and my hips. She slid a finger-tip inside me and I groaned and speeded up, gasping now, gasping her name and God's - because right now I almost believed in him - as I felt my balls contract and my ass spasm all way up my spine, and I knew I was seconds away.

And then Scully opened her throat to me. I don't know how the hell she did it, and I'd always thought it was a myth, but suddenly I was in her all the way and I cried out and shoved not-so-gently and came and came and came into that tight new tunnel, while she swallowed, contracting around me and drawing out my orgasm to the point where I was almost crying with the sensation of everything inside me emptying into every part of her. After what seemed like aeons, the last spurt of come twitched out of my cock and her throat gripped me one last time as I bent over her, almost touching her hair with my lips, my breath ragged and harsh in my chest, and my heart pounding like a kettle drum.

'Scully.' I withdrew from her carefully, then dropped to my knees to face her. Her eyes were bright and dancing, and her lips were swollen and sticky from the assault of my cock, but she wore the look of the cat that got the cream. A lot of cream. To add to the illusion, she licked her lips and I started laughing and so did she, and we kissed through it. I could taste myself in her mouth and on the tongue she slid gently against mine. I tasted salty and she tasted sweet and her little hand found my softening cock and petted it, like it was a tired animal she was soothing to sleep. The feeling of her gentle hand on my sensitized cock made me shudder into her mouth and finally we broke the kiss and knelt before each other, panting and happy.

'Merry Christmas Mulder,' she said. 

I leered at her, because that's what I do: 'But I didn't get you anything Scully.'

She smiled, and got to her feet, helping me to my rather shaky legs. We kissed again once we were standing, and it was more chaste but just as wonderful. 

'Not yet,' she smiled wickedly at me. 'But the night is still young.'

My throat went dry and my cock - which I had been trying to put away - started to harden again. Scully saw it and gave me the eyebrow. 'That's two out of three in agreement Mulder.' She turned away from me and opened the back door - the light spilling out onto us. I reached round and ran a hand up to cup her breast and she hissed in surprise and arched into it.

'Three out of three Scully,' I murmured into her neck and she groaned, her head thrown back against my chest, exposing her throat, which I bit gently. She started to writhe in my arms and my other hand unbuttoned her shirt in the middle so I could slide inside to where she was warm and soft, with a hot, hard nipple in the middle. 

I noticed that she was still clutching the door handle and growled into her hair.

'Where do you think you're going Scully?'

'To get our things,' she panted. 'We're leaving.'

'Should I come in and say goodbye?'

'I don't think anyone would expect it, do you?'

I shrugged and grinned. It felt so fucking great not to be the guilty party for once. I would've liked to have looked Bill Scully in the eye and sent him the Yappi message that I'd just come down his sister's deep throat - and that it was all thanks to him. But something told me that just looking at her face would probably convey the same message; Stevie Wonder could've seen Scully had just had some serious sex action, with her lips all sticky and swollen, her skin flushed and her hair all tousled by my eager fingers. I could hardly believe she was just going to go into her mother's house looking like that, but she didn't even button her blouse, and it made my heart clench.

'Scully!' 

She turned back to look at me.

'You know I love you, right?'

It was a stupid thing to say and I could've kicked myself, but I guess something in my eyes told her that I my heart and body would show her much more eloquently than my mouth ever could, because she smiled at me and we kissed again. Hotter this time, because we both knew this wasn't the end - not tonight, and not forever.

It was just the beginning.